(2023) Week 6 in Review
Denver Broncos @ Kansas City Chiefs (Thursday Night)
If you were watching this game for Travis Kelce or had him in your fantasy league, you had a good time Thursday Night.
If you were watching this game for any other reason, you were probably bored to tears. I mean, Taylor Swift's boyfriend (9-124) had a big game, but he didn't even score KC's only TD (that was a 6-yard pass to Kadarius Toney). KC's receiver corps? Still cheeks outside of Rashee Rice. KC's rush attack? Still meh. (27-96 as a team, long of 15).
Some would call all that a sign that the Denver D finally came to play.
I call it a game where the KC offense was clearly on cruise control and played
just hard enough to keep Denver at arm's length. And they were helped by
a Denver offense that suddenly reverted to last year's ineffectiveness. (197
total yards and 3 turnovers).
If the play and attitude of the Denver receivers are any indication, Sean Payton may have to #LetRussSit to avoid an outright mutiny. Doesn't matter how much Mr. Ciara has improved over last years if his receivers can't stand him.
If the play and attitude of the Denver receivers are any indication, Sean Payton may have to #LetRussSit to avoid an outright mutiny. Doesn't matter how much Mr. Ciara has improved over last years if his receivers can't stand him.
Chiefs 19, Broncos 8
Baltimore Ravens vs. Tennessee Titans (London)
I guess the Ravens decided to give the folks in North London what they're used
to in Tottenham Hotspur: Lots of scoring kicks.
Justin "ESPN is gonna make him the kicker GOAT if it kills them" Tucker went 6 for 6 in field goals and RB8 added a 10-yarder to rookie Zay Flowers (his first of the season) and let the defense do the rest. They racked up an INT, six sacks and numerous hits. They also knocked Ryan Tannehill out of the game with an ankle injury, the same ankle that caused him to miss a good chunk of 2022.
Justin "ESPN is gonna make him the kicker GOAT if it kills them" Tucker went 6 for 6 in field goals and RB8 added a 10-yarder to rookie Zay Flowers (his first of the season) and let the defense do the rest. They racked up an INT, six sacks and numerous hits. They also knocked Ryan Tannehill out of the game with an ankle injury, the same ankle that caused him to miss a good chunk of 2022.
Mike Vrabel and the Titans seem to be leaning towards Malik Willis going
forward. This, IMHO, would be a mistake. While Willis has looked
better in his spot appearances this season than he did at any time last year,
he's still... Not good. Give him a chance, but also give him a short
leash and get ready to see what Will Levis can do. You didn't spend a
high #2 on the guy to be the emergency QB all year.
Ravens 24, Titans 16
Washington Commanders @ Atlanta Falcons
This is one of those games where both teams did their best to lose.
Scenario: The Falcons get a 2-yard Desmond Ridder-to-Jonnu Smith TD.
Missed two-pointer leaves the score at 24-16. Twelve minutes to
go.
Falcons possessions: INT, Downs, INT
WTF possessions: 3-and-out, Punt, 3-and-out, Victory Formation.
Falcons possessions: INT, Downs, INT
WTF possessions: 3-and-out, Punt, 3-and-out, Victory Formation.
This is why both teams are at the bottom of their respective divisions: A
dedication to Failball.
After a promising start, that vaunted Eric Bienemy offense has looked more and
more mid. The offensive line has never been that great, but a
high-profile hire like Bienemy is expected to scheme up compensation for that sort of thing. Also can't
discount Riverboat Ron (Who can't help but see Bienemy as his
replacement-in-waiting) waving off calls.
And if Ridder (28 for 47, 307 yards, 2TD, 3INTs) is still the QB next week vs
Tampa, Arthur Smith needs to be fired on the spot.
To Be Named Later 24, Falcons 16
Minnesota Vikings @ Chicago Bears
Okay (Veteran Bad Team - Best Player) + (Young Bad team off two best games) =
Team Young Wins, right?
Not if you're Da Bears, apparently.
Despite knocking Justin Fields out of the game in the third quarter, the Vikes needed to force two turnovers out of backup Tyson Bagent (a fumble returned for 6 and a game-sealing late INT) to lock down the win. Yes, they were up 12-6 when Fields went out, but there was little doubt in my mind Fields could've brought them back. Especially since Minnesota's only other score was the aforementioned fumble return off Field's backup.
Not if you're Da Bears, apparently.
Despite knocking Justin Fields out of the game in the third quarter, the Vikes needed to force two turnovers out of backup Tyson Bagent (a fumble returned for 6 and a game-sealing late INT) to lock down the win. Yes, they were up 12-6 when Fields went out, but there was little doubt in my mind Fields could've brought them back. Especially since Minnesota's only other score was the aforementioned fumble return off Field's backup.
Yeah, you didn't have Justin Jefferson, but come on now.
Be not proud, Team Skol.
Down 17-13, the Seahawks had three possessions to whittle away and retake the lead.
Punt after 4 plays, turnover on downs, turnover on downs. The latter two ending inside the Bengals' 10.
Vikings 19, Bearse 13
Seattle Seahawks @ Cincinnati Bengals
Down 17-13, the Seahawks had three possessions to whittle away and retake the lead.
Punt after 4 plays, turnover on downs, turnover on downs. The latter two ending inside the Bengals' 10.
The Bengals possessions in between the above possessions? 4 plays and 3
plays.
Some will say two defenses stepping up. I say two offenses stalling out
in the crunch.
Imagine two frustrating this must have been on Red Zone, where they keep flipping back to this game and it looks like the same two plays every time for the last 20 minutes.
Imagine two frustrating this must have been on Red Zone, where they keep flipping back to this game and it looks like the same two plays every time for the last 20 minutes.
Bengals 17, Seahawks 13
San Francisco 49ers @ Cleveland Browns
Well, this was a weird one...
The Browns came in with PJ Walker under center. Easy day for the Niners, right?
The Niners promptly lose Run CMC and Deebo Samuel.
But they still have George Kittle and Brandon Aiyuk. And Mr. Relevant Brock Purdy. People have been saying that Purdy hasn't been getting MVP shine because of the two previously mentioned players being seen as carrying the load for San Fran. So here's your shot, Brock. What ya' got?
The Browns came in with PJ Walker under center. Easy day for the Niners, right?
The Niners promptly lose Run CMC and Deebo Samuel.
But they still have George Kittle and Brandon Aiyuk. And Mr. Relevant Brock Purdy. People have been saying that Purdy hasn't been getting MVP shine because of the two previously mentioned players being seen as carrying the load for San Fran. So here's your shot, Brock. What ya' got?
|
| Ooooh.... |
Oh, and Kittle had one catch for one yard. Two targets.
Bruh. The Brown's defense is good. They ain't THAT good.
Though I anticipate a flood of "Purdy wasn't that good" hot takes by the
Talkosphere come Monday.
But they still had a shot to win: Jake Moody with a 41-yard attempt, 0:09 on the clock.
But they still had a shot to win: Jake Moody with a 41-yard attempt, 0:09 on the clock.
That was his second miss of the day, BTW.
Sprinkle in 12 penalties for 105 yards and the Niners gagged their way to
their first loss of the season. Thus, there's only one undefeated team
left in Philly (More on them later).
If Scumbag McHappyending¹ was playing, the Niners lose this by double digits.
If Scumbag McHappyending¹ was playing, the Niners lose this by double digits.
Browns 19, 49ers 17
- Yay! I found a nickname!
New Orleans Saints @ Houston Texans
If Derek Carr looked to get vengeance-by-proxy for his brother David, over his
old team... Welp, better luck next time.
This is how it went for the Texans: CJ Stroud threw his first INT in the
first quarter, picked off by LB Zach Baun. Texans WR Nico Collins
stripped Baun on the tackle and the Texans got the ball right back, with a
fresh set of downs.
It didn't help that the WHODATS' offence has yet to hit on all cylinders this
season, Carr had 352 yard passing, but on 32 of 50 attempts (including an IG
call on the HOU 25), with one TD. K Blake Grupe went 2/4 on field goals,
after winning Week 5's NFC Special Teams Player of the Week. And they're
still waiting for Alvin Kamara (19-68 rushing, 7-36 receiving) to show that
home run burst.¹
Both teams are 3-3, but one of them feels a hell of a lot better about that.
Texans 20, Saints 13
- The Big Easy might have to accept that that Alvin Kamara is gone.
Indianapolis Colts @ Jacksonville Jaguars
I should be all about a young, (usually) exciting team like Jacksonville, but
I'm just... Not.
A young gunslinger in Trevor Lawrence, a dynamic young back in Travis
Ettienne, a young exciting WR (and redemption story) in Calvin Ridley.
What's not to love?
Everything, apparently.
I was so engrossed in being unimpressed, I completely missed that this was a revenge game for El Mustachio Magnifico. *shrug* Ah well
Everything, apparently.
I was so engrossed in being unimpressed, I completely missed that this was a revenge game for El Mustachio Magnifico. *shrug* Ah well
Jaguars 37, Colts 20
Carolina Panthers @ Miami Dolphins
Another day, another 40-Burger.
Also: Hey ESPN? There is no such thing as a 14-point second-quarter rally. I know you're trying to make the game sound more exciting, but don't.
Also: Hey ESPN? There is no such thing as a 14-point second-quarter rally. I know you're trying to make the game sound more exciting, but don't.
Dolphins 42, Panthers 21
Detroit Lions @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
The Bright Future Lions continue to prove they're not some also-rans, putting
the boots to Baker Mayfield and the Bucs on the road. And they're
proving they can do it more than one way. With leading rusher David
Montgomery (ribs) and top pick Jahmyr Gibbs (hamstring) out, Dan Campbell and
co. pivoted from the throwback run-centric attack to turning Jared Goff loose
(30-44/363/2) to play pitch and catch with the newly returned Amon-Ra St.
Brown (12-124-1)
Add to that a defense that shut down the Creamsicles' rush attack (As a team
16-46, long of 8) and gave Baker Mayfield his worst outing as a Buc
(19-37/206yds/1 INT) and the Lions look
like a legit contender. Especially this week (more on that in a bit)
Oh and SHAME to Bucs HC Todd Bowles: The decision to punt on 4th-and-2 from
the Tampa 33, down by 14, 10:37 to go? That was Coward Ball my dude.
Fun Fact: LB Lavonte David is the only current Buccaneer to have worn the Creamsicle throwbacks more than once, having been a rookie in 2012, the last time they broke out Buccaneer Bruce.
Lions 20, Bucs 6
New England Patriots @ Las Vegas Raiders
The Patriots come in having lost their last two by a score of 72-3. Mac
Jones spent the fourth quarter of both games on the bench watching Baily Zappe
(a guy many fans think should've been the starter to begin with) perform mop
up duty.
So naturally Bill Belichick deactivated Zappe (demoting him to emergency QB)
and elevated Malik Cunningham (the latest in the line of Belichick's favored
QB-to-WR conversions) to backup. This stinks of Darth Hoodie clearing
the decks to give Jones one more chance, without having to look over his
shoulder at Zappe.
Frankly, that's several strikes against him if he can't take the idea of a capable backup standing at the ready.
Frankly, that's several strikes against him if he can't take the idea of a capable backup standing at the ready.
And this game tape won't help his case, frankly.
Going by the box score, Kendrick Bourne was the only NE WR on the field. He had 10 catches for 89 yards (11 targets). The other Pats WRs had four catches for 37 yards combined (7 targets). And Devante "Wasn't Supposed to be Good Once Upon A Time?" Parker biffing Jones' one on-target deep shot didn't help either.
Going by the box score, Kendrick Bourne was the only NE WR on the field. He had 10 catches for 89 yards (11 targets). The other Pats WRs had four catches for 37 yards combined (7 targets). And Devante "Wasn't Supposed to be Good Once Upon A Time?" Parker biffing Jones' one on-target deep shot didn't help either.
Meanwhile former Pats WR Jakobi Meyers went 5-61-1 for the Silver and
Black.
They're already talking about if the Pats should be sellers at the trading deadline. A) Who's healthy that anyone else would want? B) There's no way Belichick's pride would allow him to punt on a season like that. Even if Robert Kraft ordered him to (He'd quit first, I think).
They're already talking about if the Pats should be sellers at the trading deadline. A) Who's healthy that anyone else would want? B) There's no way Belichick's pride would allow him to punt on a season like that. Even if Robert Kraft ordered him to (He'd quit first, I think).
Seriously, though: Mac Jones needs to sit. Maybe there's someone one
there who can fix him. That someone is not on the current Patriots
staff.
Raiders 21, Patriots 17
Arizona Cardinals @ Los Angeles Rams
The Dallas win is looking more and more like a fluke with every passing
week.
Rams 26, Cardinals 9
Philadelphia Eagles @ New York Jets
The last undefeated team goes into NYC facing a Jets team off a win @ Denver
(arguably the worst team in the league).
Can you say "Trap Game" boys and girls?
Can you say "Trap Game" boys and girls?
This was arguably the worst game the Eagles have played with Jalen Hurts under
center. the Jets scored the last 17 points of the game, shutting Philly
out in the second half. They forced four Eagles turnovers, plus a
4-and-Out on their final possession. Despite leading the Jets in every stat
(except turnovers) the Jets controlled the game from halftime on.
The Eagles had their chances and could not convert. They only made it past the NY 40 once in the second half (Missed FG). Any Eagles receiver not named "AJ Brown" (7-131) basically didn't exist. The usually reliable rush attack was "Hurts or Bust" (80 yards and a TD as a team. Hurts had 47 of those yards, plus the TD).
The Eagles better hope this was a glitch in the Matrix and not a sign of things to come: They host the Dolphins next week, kicking an 8-game death march that includes two vs. Dallas, plus the Chiefs, Bills, Niners and Seahawks..
And to answer the lingering question: No, I do not believe in the J-E-T-S (I Don't Care). They are the AFC's version of the Cardinals. A team that isn't going to win many (more) games but will make you sweat to beat them. Zach Wilson is the living definition of "'Better' isn't the same as 'Good.'" And that much-hyped defensive backfield has been shown to be vulnerable to a true WR1¹. 6-11 at best for a team many thought was championship caliber when Itsokay Imimmunized still had two good wheels.
The Eagles had their chances and could not convert. They only made it past the NY 40 once in the second half (Missed FG). Any Eagles receiver not named "AJ Brown" (7-131) basically didn't exist. The usually reliable rush attack was "Hurts or Bust" (80 yards and a TD as a team. Hurts had 47 of those yards, plus the TD).
The Eagles better hope this was a glitch in the Matrix and not a sign of things to come: They host the Dolphins next week, kicking an 8-game death march that includes two vs. Dallas, plus the Chiefs, Bills, Niners and Seahawks..
And to answer the lingering question: No, I do not believe in the J-E-T-S (I Don't Care). They are the AFC's version of the Cardinals. A team that isn't going to win many (more) games but will make you sweat to beat them. Zach Wilson is the living definition of "'Better' isn't the same as 'Good.'" And that much-hyped defensive backfield has been shown to be vulnerable to a true WR1¹. 6-11 at best for a team many thought was championship caliber when Itsokay Imimmunized still had two good wheels.
Jets 20, Eagles 14
- They didn't give up a 100-yard receiving day to the Pats, Broncos or Chiefs. I defy you to name the WR1 for any of those teams.
New York Giants @ Buffalo Bills (Sunday Night)
Pick any HC washout in the last 30 years and you can pick out one game or one
moment that screamed "Not Ready For Prime Time." For Brian Daboll, his
moment was....
First and goal on the Buffalo 1 after a PI call. 14 seconds left before halftime. You'll get two or three shots at a TD before you settle for a field goal here. Unless your QB (Tyrod Taylor subbing for the injured Danny Dimes) audibles to a run. Why would you even give your QB the option to do this? You don't run in that spot unless you have a time out. Because if you don't get in, a smart defender will simply stay on top of the ball carrier and hold him down until the ref pulls him off, eating precious seconds away.
Which is exactly what happened when Saquon Barkley was stuffed for no gain and the Buffalo defender stayed on top until time expired. The Giants protested that their guy was held down. Yeah, he was. AS IS PERFECTLY LEGAL AND WHY YOU DON'T RUN THE BALL IN THAT SCENARIO! Three points (at a minimum) left on the table. Which would've come in handy in the end game. The Bills missed a 53-yard FG attempt that left them up 14-9. Which meant the Giants needed a TD to win¹, not just tie. Just imagine if they had those three points and only needed another kick to win?
First and goal on the Buffalo 1 after a PI call. 14 seconds left before halftime. You'll get two or three shots at a TD before you settle for a field goal here. Unless your QB (Tyrod Taylor subbing for the injured Danny Dimes) audibles to a run. Why would you even give your QB the option to do this? You don't run in that spot unless you have a time out. Because if you don't get in, a smart defender will simply stay on top of the ball carrier and hold him down until the ref pulls him off, eating precious seconds away.
Which is exactly what happened when Saquon Barkley was stuffed for no gain and the Buffalo defender stayed on top until time expired. The Giants protested that their guy was held down. Yeah, he was. AS IS PERFECTLY LEGAL AND WHY YOU DON'T RUN THE BALL IN THAT SCENARIO! Three points (at a minimum) left on the table. Which would've come in handy in the end game. The Bills missed a 53-yard FG attempt that left them up 14-9. Which meant the Giants needed a TD to win¹, not just tie. Just imagine if they had those three points and only needed another kick to win?
Daboll read Taylor the riot act over his goal line play, something Daboll has
a rep for apparently (he alledly similarly ripped into Darren Waller for a
missed block). Reads to me like a coach more concerned with chewing his
players out for mistakes than actually fixing them. Tell me if I'm
reading it wrong, Big Blue Nation.
Bills 14, Giants 9
- And yes, I am well aware there was blatant PI on that last play. The refs are only going to let you have so many bites at the apple, guys.
Dallas Cowboys @ Los Angeles Chargers (Monday Night)
And yet... I still have doubts.
Dallas survived the Kellen Moore Revenge Game¹. Dak Prescott was actually getting rid of the ball (and even scored the 'Boys' first TD with an RPO run). They finally remembered the All-Pro caliber receiver on their roster ( The defense actually shut downSan Diego's LA's run attack. They managed to keep Justin
Herbert from pulling the Chargers' collective fat out of the fire. All
in all, it was a solid road win.
And yet...
Dallas survived the Kellen Moore Revenge Game¹. Dak Prescott was actually getting rid of the ball (and even scored the 'Boys' first TD with an RPO run). They finally remembered the All-Pro caliber receiver on their roster ( The defense actually shut down
And yet...
The rush attack was lackluster again. (Dak was the leading rusher with 40
yards.). The short yardage game was non-existent again (the lack of push
on the "Tush Push" attempt was embarrassing). Michael Gallop is firmly
in "Give Up On Me" territory (3-24 on a team high 11 targets), as Brandin
Cooks and Kavonte Turpin have been outplaying him. Dak is still trying
to play hero ball² and taking way too many sacks in the process.
And, of course, Mike McCarthy is looking more and more like the Packers won that Super Bowl in spite of him, not because of.³ This is feeling more and more like Jason Garrett all over again. If he had any real self-awareness, he'd hand over play calling to Son of Marty and buy himself some time.
Right about now, the only question for Brandon Staley is does he get fired with games to go or on Black Monday?
And, of course, Mike McCarthy is looking more and more like the Packers won that Super Bowl in spite of him, not because of.³ This is feeling more and more like Jason Garrett all over again. If he had any real self-awareness, he'd hand over play calling to Son of Marty and buy himself some time.
Right about now, the only question for Brandon Staley is does he get fired with games to go or on Black Monday?
Cowboys 20, Chargers 17
- AKA: The "Someone's Getting Fired" Bowl, AKA The "Should've Fired These Guys In January" Bowl.
- Which says he's thinking about his future rather than that game.
- Slot him into the "Worst HC to Win a Super Bowl" discussion next to Barry Switzer.and Don McCafferty4
- He was the Colts HC in Super Bowl V (AKA "the Worst Super Bowl Ever")
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