(2023) Week 7 in Review
Welcome to the Week in Review, where we are perfectly willing to be House Speaker.
Jacksonville Jaguars @ New Orleans Saints (Thursday Night)
The oddsmakers had the WHODATS favored by 2.5 coming into TNF. I
have to wonder what they were looking at. Because I saw a Saints team
with an offense (and QB) that's coming apart, not together. Derek Carr
and Alvin Kamara are clearly playing hurt, and Michael Thomas has largely
vanished without Breesus there to feed him five-yard passes all game.
And oh yeah, a defense that's tough and down for whatever, but can only keep
them in the game for so long without help from the offense.
All of
that was on display Thursday Night.
When Carr wasn't looking like
he was one hit away from dying on live TV, he was throwing up balls of WTFery
like this.
Derek Carr throwing it out of bounds and getting mad at Chris Olave for not making an effort to catch it 💀 pic.twitter.com/5QVpaCBhzJ
— LakeShowYo (@LakeShowYo) October 20, 2023
Yeah, Olave bailed on the route, but it was still uncatchable garbage. Calm the fuck down, Derek.
Thrown in a Pick Six, a(nother) missed FG and a straight end zone drop on the final drive, and it was Second Verse, Same As The First for the Aints.. Sad part it, with a little offensive consistency, the Saints could easily own the NFC South. Until they get Carr healthy (which may not be int he cards for 2023. if ever) and across the O-Line, that may not happen.
Jaguars 31, Saints 24
Detroit Lions @ Baltimore Ravens
It's the Not Your (Grand)Father's Lions Tour pulling into to Not-DC.
Folks are looking forward to see how RB8 handles that young, disruptive
defense.
But... I don't think anyone had "Made them his bitch" on the menu.
Jackson threw for 357 yards and 3 TDs, spreading the love to nine different targets. He also added on 36 rushing yards and a fourth TD for spice. The Ravens had 508 total yards of offense, highlighting yet again that the Lions tend to have issues with mobile QBs. But here's a stat that says it all in how badly the Lions were dominated:
The Ravens were up 28-0 before Detroit made their first first down. And THAT drive ended in a turnover on downs.
It was that bad.
Granted, this was the kind of game we would've seen at least twice by now with the old Lions so I have confidence they'll bounce back. But I've been wrong about that sort of thing before. I've been wrong about that this year (more on that later).
But... I don't think anyone had "Made them his bitch" on the menu.
Jackson threw for 357 yards and 3 TDs, spreading the love to nine different targets. He also added on 36 rushing yards and a fourth TD for spice. The Ravens had 508 total yards of offense, highlighting yet again that the Lions tend to have issues with mobile QBs. But here's a stat that says it all in how badly the Lions were dominated:
The Ravens were up 28-0 before Detroit made their first first down. And THAT drive ended in a turnover on downs.
It was that bad.
Granted, this was the kind of game we would've seen at least twice by now with the old Lions so I have confidence they'll bounce back. But I've been wrong about that sort of thing before. I've been wrong about that this year (more on that later).
Ravens 38, Lions 6
Las Vegas Raiders @ Chicago Bears
As I usually note with this sort of game: Matchups between two
bottom-tier teams are either shootouts where both teams can flex against an
opponent in their weight class or a car crash where both teams show why
they're bottom-tier.
The weird thing about this game is that the Raiders are considered bottom tier
despite being .500 coming in and the Bears were okay when Justin Fields was
healthy.
But yeah. Bottom-tier.
And it would've been even if this were the expected matchup of Jimmy G vs. Justin Fields, and not Bryan "Good God He's still around?" Hoyer vs. Tyler "Please stop calling me 'T-Bag'" Bagent. Or as it ended up: Aiden "Next Week's Starter" O'Connell vs. Nathan "HOW! JUST HOW?" Peterman.
Matt Eberflus came up with the bold strategy of not letting Bagent throw the ball more than 10 yards (20-29/162/1TD) and letting the running game (173 yards and 2 TDs as a team) and the defense carry the load. Every write up I've seen on this game has praised Bagent for his cool and poise in leading the Bears.
But yeah. Bottom-tier.
And it would've been even if this were the expected matchup of Jimmy G vs. Justin Fields, and not Bryan "Good God He's still around?" Hoyer vs. Tyler "Please stop calling me 'T-Bag'" Bagent. Or as it ended up: Aiden "Next Week's Starter" O'Connell vs. Nathan "HOW! JUST HOW?" Peterman.
Matt Eberflus came up with the bold strategy of not letting Bagent throw the ball more than 10 yards (20-29/162/1TD) and letting the running game (173 yards and 2 TDs as a team) and the defense carry the load. Every write up I've seen on this game has praised Bagent for his cool and poise in leading the Bears.
Translation: He didn't shit the bed and we'll take it!
If this clunker doesn't seal Josh McDaniels' fate, nothing will.
Bears 30, Raiders 12
Cleveland Browns @ Indianapolis Colts
With the news that Anthony Richardson was lost for the season, the question for the Ponies became do they go all in with El Mustachio Magnifico and try and win or just wave the white flag and play for draft position.
This game said "*uncertain shrug."
Minshew threw for 305 and 2 TDs and ran for two more. He also had four
turnovers (INT and 3 fumbles), which helped keep the Browns in striking
distance.
Granted, no one expected Myles Garrett to turn into Tecmo Bowl Laurence Taylor and utterly dominate the game: Two sacks, two QB hits, one pass defense, 7 solo tackles, a forced fumble and THIS:
Granted, no one expected Myles Garrett to turn into Tecmo Bowl Laurence Taylor and utterly dominate the game: Two sacks, two QB hits, one pass defense, 7 solo tackles, a forced fumble and THIS:
MYLES GARRETT IS UNREAL 🤯
— PFF (@PFF) October 22, 2023
pic.twitter.com/TEx184bTht
The Browns continue to win without their Overpaid Miscreant, who started the game but was pulled early for "safety reasons" (He was screened for concussion and cleared, but the coaching staff kept PJ Walker in anyway). It's almost like Kevin Stefanski is pulling every excuse he can to keep from playing him. Weird...
Browns 39, Colts 38
Buffalo Bills @ New England Patriots
Just when the world was ready to write off the Imperial Remnant, they beat the defending division champs, in comeback fashion, no less.
Mac Jones hit Mike Gieseke for a one-yard score with 12 seconds left, after Buffalo staged their own rally to come back from 12 down. With the win, Darth Hoodie joins George Halas and Don Shula as the only coaches with 300 wins. Couldn't happen to a more miserable sumbitch.
Once again, the Bills had to overcome a slow first half start (They've been outscored 30-10 in the first half in their last three games) to take the lead, only to watch the Pats take it right back as time ran down. They've lost two of their last three in this exact fashion, after pantsing the Dolphins in Week 4. Not good for a team with Super Bowl aspirations. Even worse is teams starting to figure out if you blitz the hell out of Josh Allen, his line can't keep up. Ordinarily, the way to counter that is either the screen game or run it down their throat and make them back off. Either the Bills can't do either (their run game is notoriously mid and has been for years) or they... Won't.
Either way, they need to get that turned around if they want to (at a minimum) stay ahead of Miami, let alone stay in contention for the #1 seed.
Mac Jones hit Mike Gieseke for a one-yard score with 12 seconds left, after Buffalo staged their own rally to come back from 12 down. With the win, Darth Hoodie joins George Halas and Don Shula as the only coaches with 300 wins. Couldn't happen to a more miserable sumbitch.
Once again, the Bills had to overcome a slow first half start (They've been outscored 30-10 in the first half in their last three games) to take the lead, only to watch the Pats take it right back as time ran down. They've lost two of their last three in this exact fashion, after pantsing the Dolphins in Week 4. Not good for a team with Super Bowl aspirations. Even worse is teams starting to figure out if you blitz the hell out of Josh Allen, his line can't keep up. Ordinarily, the way to counter that is either the screen game or run it down their throat and make them back off. Either the Bills can't do either (their run game is notoriously mid and has been for years) or they... Won't.
Either way, they need to get that turned around if they want to (at a minimum) stay ahead of Miami, let alone stay in contention for the #1 seed.
Patriots 28, Bills 25
Washington Commanders @ New York Giants
The Giants have a problem.
Tyrod Taylor is good.
Granted, most teams would love a reliable Taylor-level backup QB, who, at a minimum, won't cost you a game and get you through a rough patch. The problem here is that the Giants have looked far more competitive with Taylor (who's a backup for a reason) under center. A major reason for that is Taylor seems to be far better at avoiding sacks than Danny Dimes. That alone has the Giants' offense in far better shape. It also helps the defense. Longer drives means more rest. Deeper drives means more room to work.
Daniel Jones will very clearly get his job back when he's healthy enough. But does Taylor's play mean he's going in with a shorter leash?
Meanwhile, WTF is living up to those initials. That vaunted Eric Bienemy offense looks worse by the week. Not helped by Sam Howell's uneven play. He'll look like prime Joe Theisman in one series and look like last year's Carson Wentz in another. The offensive line is cheeks and is getting no push for the backs (or protection for Howell), Terry McLaurin is the only Commander who consistently performs, and they spent the first half ignoring him (his six catches on nine targets all came in the second half).
It looks like the Giants and Commanders are about to trade places at the lower half of the NFC East. If that happens, I can't see Riverboat Ron (or Bienemy) surviving that, long-term.
It looks like the Giants and Commanders are about to trade places at the lower half of the NFC East. If that happens, I can't see Riverboat Ron (or Bienemy) surviving that, long-term.
Giants 14, To Be Named Later 7
Atlanta Falcons @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
And here I thought the Bucs were turning it around. Baker Mayfield looked like the best version of himself through the first month of the season. They were 3-1 and even in the loss, they held their own against the defending conference champs.
Over the last two games, Mayfield has looked like the QB the Browns gave up on and the rush attack just ain't there (119 yards over the last two games). Which has to be pissing off the defense, which is holding up their end of the bargain. You force the other QB to fumble 3 times (Two of them on the Tampa ONE, all three in the Red Zone), you expect to win. Or at least for the other guy to rise up and ball out to compensate. Nope (Desmond Ridder as 19/25 for 250, no TDs, and of course the three fumbles)
Over the last two games, Mayfield has looked like the QB the Browns gave up on and the rush attack just ain't there (119 yards over the last two games). Which has to be pissing off the defense, which is holding up their end of the bargain. You force the other QB to fumble 3 times (Two of them on the Tampa ONE, all three in the Red Zone), you expect to win. Or at least for the other guy to rise up and ball out to compensate. Nope (Desmond Ridder as 19/25 for 250, no TDs, and of course the three fumbles)
The Falcons are now 4-3 and atop the NFC South, despite being an inconsistent team with bad QB play and worse play calling (In what universe does it make sense to use Bijon Robinson as a decoy for most of the game?)
The NFC South may have the worst group of starting QBs in the league.
Not sure what's more surprising: The Steelers laying a fourth quarter beatdown on what (we thought) was a solid Rams team or that the Rams let Brett Maher (two missed FGs, missed XP) on the team bus?
At least Darrell Henderson (#GoTigersGo) is back in the league (18-61-1)
The NFC South may have the worst group of starting QBs in the league.
Falcons 16, Bucs 13
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Los Angeles Rams
Not sure what's more surprising: The Steelers laying a fourth quarter beatdown on what (we thought) was a solid Rams team or that the Rams let Brett Maher (two missed FGs, missed XP) on the team bus?
At least Darrell Henderson (#GoTigersGo) is back in the league (18-61-1)
Steelers 24, Rams 17
Arizona Cardinals @ Seattle Seahawks
You're not going to win very many games turning three turnovers into three points. Or with 146 yards passing.¹
Or when the other team is comfortable enough to treat their RB1 like it was 1993 and give him 26 carries (which Kenneth Walker turned into 105 yards).
That Dallas win feels like it was last year, at this point.
Seahawks 20, Cardinals 10
- Josh Dobbs seems to be turning back into a pumpkin with Kyler Murray's return looming. 381 yards in the last two games isn't going to keep Murray on the bench.
Green Bay Packers @ Denver Broncos
Backup safety P.J. Locke saved the Broncos from another second-half choke job, picking off Jordan Love at the Broncos 12 with a 1:40 left, to secure a two-point Denver win. It was the first home win of the season and for Sean Payton as Broncos HC.
Even though they needed Locke's INT to seal the deal, the Denver D was much improved over their previous efforts, holding the Pack to 100 yards and no points in the first half. Could Vance Joseph be *GASP* learning and adapting?
Even though they needed Locke's INT to seal the deal, the Denver D was much improved over their previous efforts, holding the Pack to 100 yards and no points in the first half. Could Vance Joseph be *GASP* learning and adapting?
Or are Love and the Packers just that bad?
Is it just me, or is Justin Herbert turning into a J.A.G.¹ before our very eyes?
#LetsRide 19, Packers 17
Los Angeles Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs
Is it just me, or is Justin Herbert turning into a J.A.G.¹ before our very eyes?
Vegas has to be giving odds as to whether or not Brandon Staley even makes it to Black Monday.at this point.
Chiefs 31, Chargers 17
- Just Another Guy
Miami Dolphins @ Philadelphia Eagles (Sunday Night)
Another top tier opponent, another embarrassing loss for the Blowholes. And another Sunday Night dud.
And yet somehow, most of the attention remains on the Eagles' signature "Tush Push" (AKA "The Brotherly Shove")
It's almost certainly getting banned come the offseason, probably citing some "player safety" bullshit. Bomani Jones spent a couple of minutes in the return of his "Right Time" podcast disappointingly decrying the play as "cheating. ¹" I say and will continue to say: #GETGUD. Just because Philly is (uniquely to this time and place) built for power running and has a QB with Earl Campbell thighs, they have to be punished for coming up with a unique variant of the QB sneak? "Shenanigans," sez I! When Bill Belichick had a guy basically do the Fosbury Flop to block a field goal earlier this year, no one rushed to outlaw the maneuver. ²
Right?
Either way, the Eagles come out of Sunday Night looking like the class of the NFC.
And yet somehow, most of the attention remains on the Eagles' signature "Tush Push" (AKA "The Brotherly Shove")
It's almost certainly getting banned come the offseason, probably citing some "player safety" bullshit. Bomani Jones spent a couple of minutes in the return of his "Right Time" podcast disappointingly decrying the play as "cheating. ¹" I say and will continue to say: #GETGUD. Just because Philly is (uniquely to this time and place) built for power running and has a QB with Earl Campbell thighs, they have to be punished for coming up with a unique variant of the QB sneak? "Shenanigans," sez I! When Bill Belichick had a guy basically do the Fosbury Flop to block a field goal earlier this year, no one rushed to outlaw the maneuver. ²
Right?
Either way, the Eagles come out of Sunday Night looking like the class of the NFC.
Eagles 31, Dolphins 17
- His argument was that if your main argument for the play is "It ain't against the rules," it's cheating, and you know it's cheating. ³
- Yet.
- Okay, he's not wrong, but still...
San Francisco 49ers @ Minnesota Vikings (Monday Night)
Two games without Deebo Samuel, two games where Mr. Relevant played like a J.A.G.
Brock Purdy threw two bad interceptions on Monday, both of which killed potential scoring drives. not that Purdy was the worst performer for San Fran. He wasn't the one who let Kirk "Mr. Bright Lights" Cousins play pitch-and-catch with Jordan Addison (7-123-2) and TJ Hockenson (11-86) all night. Just with the narrative of how he's the next Tom Brady, he's gonna be the biggest target of scorn.
All of which obscured Run CMC's return (95 scrimmage yards, including a 35-yd TD catch).
The Niners, after looking like a lock for the NFC championship, have lost two straight and are looking to get right.
The Vikings, who came in at 2-4 are (with Detroit's loss) suddenly in striking distance of the NFC North lead. Certainly within the realm of the Wild Card. Makes me wonder how this changes the Vikes' approach to next week's trade deadline: Teams will still be burning up their phone lines making offers for Danielle Hunter and maybe Harrison Smith. Maybe they'll be a buyer for an RB, because the Alexander Mattison experiment doesn't seem to be panning out.
At least MNF wasn't another dud.
Vikings 22, Niners 17
- He's only topped 90 yards twice (Weeks 3 and 4) and hasn't even hit 60 in the rest.
Comments
Post a Comment