(2023) Week 3 In Review
Welcome to the Week in Review. It's a living!
(TNF) New York Giants at San Francisco 49ers
The Giants "What Have We Done To Deserve This" tour continues...
Okay, Danny Dimes, the chips are down. You're down Saquon Barkley, the
guy everyone on Earth not in the Giants' front office said deserved to get
paid instead of you, and the left side of your offensive line. But
this is your moment to rise above. To prove you're worth the
money. To prove you're not just "the best they could do."
What ya' got?
What ya' got?
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| You are now hearing the TPIR "you lose" horns |
Alrighty then...
Granted, the Giants kept things within striking distance through the
third. But without Saquon, they had NO firepower and wilted in the
fourth. The Giants' receivers may be even worse than last year's
bunch and Darren Waller has been a dud through three weeks. How much
of this is them and how muh is Jones just being mid, who can say?
The Niners seemed to play down to their competition, staying just out of
reach until the Giants ran out of gas. If that was intentional, the
Niners are scarier than I thought.
49ers 30, Giants 12
Indianapolis Colts at Baltimore Ravens
*checks schedule*Yep. That's a trap game.
The Ravens got caught looking ahead to a division game with the hated Browns and got caught slipping by a Anthony Richardson-less Colts team.
Matt Gay¹ kicked a league record four 50+ yard field goals, including the 53-yard game winner in Overtime.
Ravens fans will squawk (pun not intended) that they got jobed on a PI no-called on Zay Flowers in OT. Dems the breaks, kid. Take care of business in regulation time, doesn't come down to one maybe botched call.
Things get REALLY interesting for the Colts after next week. That's when disgruntled star RB Johnathan Taylor will be eligible to return to the active roster. With them likely favored against the Rams in Week 4, the Colts could be 3-1 getting Taylor and Richardson back.
Which is what would certainly happen in a world where Jim Irsay was sober sane. We'll see.
- Insert² Beavis and Butthead laugh here.
- HUH HUH! He said "insert!"
Colts 22, Ravens 19 (OT)
Tennessee Titans at Cleveland Browns
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| That's Veteran Leadership! |
We are one more of these away from the return of Malik Willis, mark my words.
Browns 27, Titans 3
Atlanta Falcons at Detroit Lions
You wouldn't be able to tell by looking that both of these teams were 2-0 coming in.
The Falcons offense couldn't get out of first gear. Desmond Ridder was a not-actively-horrible 23/38 for 201, but he also ate five sacks and the Lions' defense made Bijan Robinson disappear (10-33 rushing).. Even normally reliable Younghee (Hoochie)Koo hooked¹ a 47-yarder. Though the defense kept it from getting out of hand, forcing punts (and their one turnover) on 7 of 11 Lions possessons.
Still bowling shoe ugly, though.
Still bowling shoe ugly, though.
Lions 20, Falcons 6
- Or is it "slieed". I can never remember which one is "missed left"
New Orleans Saints at Green Bay Packers
Jameis Winston took over for an injured Derek Carr early in the third quarter and took a 17-0 lead heading into the fourth quarter.
He lost.
He only managed one drive of more than 6 plays: The Saints' final drive... Where Blake Grupe issed a 46-yard attempt wide right. Jordan "Aaron Who" Love, meanwhile scored on three of his four 4th quarter possessions (the last being kneeldowns after the Grupe miss).
He only managed one drive of more than 6 plays: The Saints' final drive... Where Blake Grupe issed a 46-yard attempt wide right. Jordan "Aaron Who" Love, meanwhile scored on three of his four 4th quarter possessions (the last being kneeldowns after the Grupe miss).
Not that Carr was that much better before getting knocked out with a shoulder injury. Observe.
Carr The Younger is listed as Day-To-Day with a sprained AC joint, so Whodat Nation might need to prepare for another ride on the Rapey McCrableg roller coaster.
The Pack became the third team this century to win after being shut out 17-0 or worse through three quarters. The others were Carolina against Philadelphia on Oct. 21, 2018, and Tennessee against the New York Giants on Nov. 26, 2006.
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| It's a Voltron of Mediocrity! |
Carr The Younger is listed as Day-To-Day with a sprained AC joint, so Whodat Nation might need to prepare for another ride on the Rapey McCrableg roller coaster.
The Pack became the third team this century to win after being shut out 17-0 or worse through three quarters. The others were Carolina against Philadelphia on Oct. 21, 2018, and Tennessee against the New York Giants on Nov. 26, 2006.
Packers 18, Saints 17.
Houston Texans at Jacksonville Jaguars
Um... Which one of these teams was supposed to be a lock to win the division and which one was #1 Pick fodder?
Not that surprised in Houston. The Texans have been visibly improving since getting drubbed by Baltimore in Week 1. The Jags have gone the opposite direction; Looking clueless after smacking the Colts in Week 1. The Jags had two punts, two missed FGs (1 blocked) and a fumble in their first five possessions and didn't improve that much going forward. They scored on three of their first four possessions in the second half, but that fourth was an INT that kept them from pulling to within one score.
CJ Stroud looks like he might be the real deal: going 20/30 for 280 yards, 2 TDs and no turnovers.
If the Jags don't get their act together, one of the rookies could steal this division.
Texans 37, Jags 17
Denver Broncos at Miami Dolphins
Nobody thought to check the defense, huh?
Granted, they've had injuries (particularly Frank Clark and Justin Simmons). But they've been cheeks all year.. And everyone's too occupied with Sean Payton's offence and "Can Russ Cook Again" to notice, apparently.
The Dolphins noticed. Oh, dear lord did they.
Granted, they've had injuries (particularly Frank Clark and Justin Simmons). But they've been cheeks all year.. And everyone's too occupied with Sean Payton's offence and "Can Russ Cook Again" to notice, apparently.
The Dolphins noticed. Oh, dear lord did they.
Miami served up the first 70-Burger since before The Merger. Fourth in league history and three off the record (Chicago's infamous 73-0 of Washington in the 1941 championship). De'Von Achane and Raheem Mostert had 4 TDs EACH. With Tyreke Hill and Robbie Chosen (nee Anderson) collecting the other two. Jaylen Waddle wasn't even suited for this game (Concussion Protocol).
To add insult to injury, Mike McDaniel chose to run out the clock rather than attempt a 44-yarder to tie the record.
Sean Payton would have gone for the record outright, mark my words.
To add insult to injury, Mike McDaniel chose to run out the clock rather than attempt a 44-yarder to tie the record.
Sean Payton would have gone for the record outright, mark my words.
I don't care if it's just one game, someone should get fired over this kind of embarrassment.
Dolphins 70, Broncos 20
Los Angeles Chargers at Minnesota Vikings
In a battle of seemingly cursed franchises, the Chargers managed to avoid the dreaded 0-3 mark, using a Kenneth Murray INT with 12 seconds left to preserve the 4-point win. Wasting not only another big days from Kirk Cousins (367 and 3), Justin Jefferson (7-49-1) and TJ Hockenson (8-78) but a day Troy Hambrick II finally got on track (20-93).
Such is the way of the Purple People Gnaw-On-Toothlesslys.
Justin Herbert apparently said "Fuck It, I'll do it myself", going for 405 and 3tds. The vet, Keenan "X weeks since a season-ending injury" Allen added a 49-yard TD pass to Mike "Did someone say 'Season-Ending Injury?'"¹ Williams for good measure. Which they clearly needed since the run game was MIA without Austin Eckler (15-30 as a team)
Seriously though: This is the kind of game the Chargers would've found a way to lose in the past. Hell, as close as last week.
Chargers 28, Vikings 24
- And he's reportedly out for the season (ACL)
New England Patriots at New York Jets
I wanted to give the kid a chance. You don't get to be a top 5 pick if you don't have something going for you. But Zach Wilson has got to go.
He had his chances to show his mettle in the crunch. Instead, he took a horrible safety, followed a four-and-out where he threw three straight incompletes and hit a useless dump off TE Tyler Conklin, and then heaved a heartbreakingly close Hail Mary attempt that Randall Cobb couldn't quite snag off the deflection.
He had his chances to show his mettle in the crunch. Instead, he took a horrible safety, followed a four-and-out where he threw three straight incompletes and hit a useless dump off TE Tyler Conklin, and then heaved a heartbreakingly close Hail Mary attempt that Randall Cobb couldn't quite snag off the deflection.
18-of-36 for 157 on the game. Three sacks.
New England's defense isn't the kind that is going to force even an okay QB into those numbers.
I stood up for Wilson last week. Saying you're not going to find someone better on the street (barring some serious under-the-table dealing to lure Tom Brady in) and trading for, say, Jacoby Brissett or Teddy Bridgewater wouldn't be worth it.
I was wrong. They need to get someone in now before it's too late.
New England's defense isn't the kind that is going to force even an okay QB into those numbers.
I stood up for Wilson last week. Saying you're not going to find someone better on the street (barring some serious under-the-table dealing to lure Tom Brady in) and trading for, say, Jacoby Brissett or Teddy Bridgewater wouldn't be worth it.
I was wrong. They need to get someone in now before it's too late.
Sorry, kid. Maybe you're a late bloomer like Jim Plunkett or Vinny Testaverde. Maybe the right coach can turn you around (a la Alex Smith). But in the here and now? You gotta go.
Patriots 15, Jets 10
Buffalo Bills at Washington Commanders
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| Someone call Carson Wentz back! |
Not sure if this is a sign the Bills are shaking the rust off or that Howell turned back into a pumpkin. What I do know is that when your opponent has stats like this (plus an Antonio Gibson fumble) and your offense is firing on all cylinders, you get a blowout win like this.
Josh Allen probably sent him a PM saying he had three or four days like this during his first year as a starter.
Bills 32, To Be Named Later 3
Carolina Panthers at Seattle Seahawks
The Young Panthers had to turn to an old hand, as The Red Rifle, Andy Dalton, had to strap 'em on once again in place of the injured Bryce Young.
Still lost, but they gave it a good run. Dalton went 34/58 for 361 and two scores, outdueling Geno "LOL Jets" Smith (296, 1 and 1). Or course, Geno had far more help from his run game (243 and 2 TDs from Kenneth Walker III and Zach Charbonnet¹) than Dalton got (14-44 and 1 as a team)
Still lost, but they gave it a good run. Dalton went 34/58 for 361 and two scores, outdueling Geno "LOL Jets" Smith (296, 1 and 1). Or course, Geno had far more help from his run game (243 and 2 TDs from Kenneth Walker III and Zach Charbonnet¹) than Dalton got (14-44 and 1 as a team)
The Panthers are 0-3 but who expected them to be better at this point? They'll probably snipe some wins and escape the jaws of 0-17 before the year is through.
Seahawks 37, Panthers 27
- That sounds more like a Gundam pilot than a football player.
Dallas Cowboys at Arizona Cardinals
LAST WEEK ON WEEK IN REVIEW!
As the schedule falls, the Cowboys won’t face a real test until Week 5, when they travel to San Francisco for the Sunday Night game. I'm betting that’s gonna pop the ratings..Welp... That aged like milk.
Everything that could go wrong for #DemBoyz did. The issues that did show up in Weeks 1 and 2 (Issues in the Red Zone, susceptibility to the big play, still vulnerable to the run) were exacerbated by the defense (which was drawing legit comparisons to the 85 Bears and 2000 Ravens) getting beat at every turn in the first half.
By the time they got a handle on things, it seemed to be a lost cause. Between the penalties (13-107, when they didn't have that many total penalties in the first two games combined) and the aforementioned Red Zone woes (Turnover On Downs on the AZ 4¹ and a later Dak INT from the 6).
Not that that this was all on Dallas choking when an opponent didn't shoot themselves in the foot first: You don't gain 221 rushing just because your opponent is having a bad day. Josh Dobbs looked like the guy they wish Kyler Murray was (186 ad 1 passing, 55 rushing, including a 44-yarder). The Cards gashed Dallas with big play after big play when they needed them. And by the time Dallas got a handle on that, the Cards D put the clamps on Dak and co.
Granted, Dallas was down three starters on the o-line, plus losing Trevon Diggs for the season during the week (a loss that was surely felt). But it looked for all the world like McCarthy was coaching scared. Like he didn't trust his makeshift o-line enough to get creative when AZ was shutting down the basic stuff. Granted, on the few times they did get cute, the Cards weren't fooled (the failed WR sweep to CeeDee Lamb was particularly painful to watch).
Not that that this was all on Dallas choking when an opponent didn't shoot themselves in the foot first: You don't gain 221 rushing just because your opponent is having a bad day. Josh Dobbs looked like the guy they wish Kyler Murray was (186 ad 1 passing, 55 rushing, including a 44-yarder). The Cards gashed Dallas with big play after big play when they needed them. And by the time Dallas got a handle on that, the Cards D put the clamps on Dak and co.
Granted, Dallas was down three starters on the o-line, plus losing Trevon Diggs for the season during the week (a loss that was surely felt). But it looked for all the world like McCarthy was coaching scared. Like he didn't trust his makeshift o-line enough to get creative when AZ was shutting down the basic stuff. Granted, on the few times they did get cute, the Cards weren't fooled (the failed WR sweep to CeeDee Lamb was particularly painful to watch).
TL;DR: 'Zona showed they're no tank job and were a team to reckon with when they played a complete game. Dallas showed they could be had. And probably had the run-happy Eagles giggling with anticipation.
Cardinals 28, Cowboys 16
- Out of the shotgun. [insert scream of frustration and rage]²
- #RealTalk: If you go into the shotgun on an And-Goal down from 4 yards and in³, it says one thing: "I don't trust my o-line to get that inside push"
- Or 3-and-in further out.
Chicago Bears at Kansas City Chiefs
Last season, when Justin Fields was still the Next Great Bears QB (Just You Wait), his one reliable weapon were his legs. He made plays with his legs and kept defenses as bay with the threat of bailing out and running. It was thought that with the influx of veteran pass catchers this season, he shouldn't need to run as much.
Three games in, his passing has seemingly gotten worse and he's not even propping that up with run. If he's not going to run, he's Cade McNown.
Granted, bad QB play doesn't directly translate to 41 points by the opponent. But it doesn't help, either.
And no, I'm not going to mention that certain celebrity in the Chief's luxury box. Im no sheep.
Chiefs 41, Bears 10
(SNF) Pittsburgh Steelers at Las Vegas Raiders
Dear Kenny Pickett Haters;
Am I gonna have to break out the Pickett Apology Letter meme again?
Am I gonna have to break out the Pickett Apology Letter meme again?
It ain't him. It's Matt Canada. And I cannot for the life of me understand why Coach Omar Epps hasn't fired him already. Is it going to take his asstastic play calling costing the tea their non-losing season streak before they pull the trigger?
Well... Matt Canada and their equally inexplicable loyalty to Najee Harris (19-65).
Well... Matt Canada and their equally inexplicable loyalty to Najee Harris (19-65).
On the other hand.
We Memphis Tiger faithful have been waiting for that for two years.
Jimmy G and the Raiders scored 11 in the late 4th to make it close, but too little (one INT too many) too late.
Steelers 23, Raiders 18
(MNF 1) Philadelphia Eagles at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Eagles to the rest of the NFC East: THIS IS HOW IT'S DONE, SON!
Eagles 25, Bucs 11
(MNF 2) Los Angeles Rams at Cincinnati Bengals
What a way to honor new Ring of Honor enshrinees Boomer Esiason and Chad OchoJohsono
This wasn't going ot make anyone's Game of the Week, but a still-hurtin Joe Burrow made sure his Bengals got off the donut and survived this rock fight.
The Bengals took their first lead of the season when Joe Mixon got off his snide and scored from 14 out. Ja'Marr Chase took the occasion to have a breakout game as well (12-141) The defense did the rest for Cincy, picking off Mattew Stafford twice, forcing them into three (or less) and outs on 6 of 12 possessions and making them settle for field goals.
Basically, it was the team we were waiting for with the Bengals and the one we were afraid of in LA.
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