#NFL Week in Review - Week 15
Welcome to the Week in Review. I hope this isn't COVID...
[TNF] San Francisco 49ers @ Seattle Seahawks
The Narrative
The re-energized Niners, behind Brock "Putting the 'Mister' in 'Mr. Irrelevant'" Purdy travel to the Emerald City to fave a Seahawks team that's been struggling of late. Can Geno and co. put it together or will they be another chapter in the legend of Brock Purdy?
The Outcome
Welp... I was pulling for you, Geno Seattle.
Brock Purdy Chapter 2 somehow looked even better than Chapter 1: 217 and 2 TDs. He also got George Kittle back in the spotlight (4-93-2, his best game since early October). He also got help from Run CMC, who chipped in 108 yards and a TD on 26 carries.
Smith was his usual solid self (238 and 1). They also got Kenneth Walker III back from injury. And it did not help at all (12-47).
The win locked down the NFC West for the Niners and put them in position to strike if Philly stumbles down the stretch. The loss knocks Seattle out of the 7th slot and puts them squarely in "win and get help" territory.
Whodat Shoutout
Niners RB Jordan Mason (Rookie UDFA Georgia Tech). He supplemented the rush attack with 64 yards on 4 carries.
49ers 21, Seahawks 13
[Saturday] Indianapolis Colts @ Minnesota Vikings
The Narrative
Week 6 of The Jeff Saturday Experiment rolls into the Twin Cities. The Vikes are reeling after a(nother) humiliating loss and looking to reclaim some rep.
The Outcome
Oh look: Now Matt Ryan is on the wrong side of TWO all-time collapses!¹
The Colts took a 33-0 lead into halftime. They were up 36-7 with 20 minutes left in the game. And for the second time this season, the Colts got a 30-burger hung on them in the fourth quarter.² A blocked punt returned for a touchdown. A lost fumble near the red zone. A doomed fake punt that led to another score. A pick-six.
Oh, wait. Those are all things the Vikes gave up to the Colts before El Colapso Grande.
Kirk Cousins in 100% YOULIKETHAT mode (460 and 4) led the way for the Vikings' comeback. But mostly it was the Colts forgetting how to football. Here's their second half+ possessions: 4 plays (punt), 6 plays (FG), 3 plays (punt), 4 plays (punt), 3 plays (punt), 4 plays (fumble), 5 plays (turnover on downs), 3 plays (punt), 1 play (End Of Regulation), 8 plays (punt).
Bear in mind the Vikes threw in a INT and a ToD among those punts and otherwise and they STILL couldn't put enough on the board to make a 33-pt cushion stand up.
Yeesh.
To add injury to insult: Johnathan Taylor went out early with a high ankle sprain and will miss the rest of the season. Read that back: The Colts went up 33-0 WITHOUT Johnathan Taylor. And they couldn't hold it.
I repeat: Yeesh.
The win nets the Vikes the NFC North crown and keeps the first round bye within reach.
Since upsetting the Raiders in Week 11, the Colts have lost four straight, blowing second half leads in 3 of them. And the one where they didn't. That was the fourth quarter rogering they got from Dallas in Week 14
Whodat Shoutout
Vikings WR K.J. Osborn (3rd year, Miam): Had his biggest game of his young career (10-157-1) in the comeback.
Vikings 39, Colts 36 (OT)
That's gonna be the narrative going forward and it's massively unfair. Here and in Super Bowl LI, Ryan was stuck executing boneheaded play call after bone headed play call
That, in and of itself, should ensure Jeff Saturday does not survive Black Monday.
[Saturday] Baltimore Ravens @ Cleveland Browns
The Narrative
The meeting between the OG and current Browns takes on a different tone with the addition of Deshaun Cosby.
The Outcome
F*ck this game and everyone in it. Next.
Whodat Shoutout
*throws dart* Browns S John Johnson III (6th season, Boston College), 9 total tackles, a pass defense and a fumble recovery
Browsn 13, Ravens 3
[Saturday] Miami Dolphins @ Buffalo Bills
The Narrative
SNOWPOCALYPSE!!! GAME TIME FORCAST IS "BLIZZARDS AND 10-FOOT SNOW DRIFTS ON THE FIELD!"
The Outcome
Oh. The snow stayed away until near the end (for extra drama).
Anyway.
The Bills play a(nother) sloppy, error filled game, but managed to get it together for a dramatic fourth quarter. The Dolphins clearly went all in on stopping Stefon Diggs (5-60), so TE Dawson Knox stepped up to take the lead (6-98-1)
Raheem Mostert had a big game (17-136), most of it in the first quarter (101 yards, including a 67-yarder). Jaylen Waddle had 3 catches for 114, including a 67-yard TD). The Dolphins seemed to be trying to make that first quarter magic last the entire game. Sorry, nothing doing.
The Dolphins have lost their third straight and have pretty much ceded the AFC East to the Bills. The Bills clinch a playoff slot and a magic number of one for the division.
Whodat Shoutout
Dolphins K Jason Sanders (5th season New Mexico). 3-3 on FGs and 3-3 on extra points.
Come on, you had no idea who the Dolphins' kicker was. Admit it.
Bills 32, Dolphins 29
Philadelphia Eagles @ Chicago Bears
The Narrative
Arguably the NFC's leading MVP candidates, Jalen Hurts and Justin Fields, going head to head. Only one of them has a shot at winning.
The Outcome
The Bears went all in in stopping the Eagles' ground attack. So naturally Hurts and co. went to the air. AJ Brown and DeVonta Smith for 207 yards receiving. Even then, Hurts clocked in 3 rushing TDs and 61 yards. Fields countered with 152 and 2 through the air and 15-95 on the ground.
Also, Nathan Peterman came in for a snap for Fields.
Yes, Nathan "4 INTs in a quarter" Peterman still draws an NFL paycheck.
Whodat Shoutout
Bears WR Byron Pringle (5th season, Kansas St), who scored on a 35 yd pass from Fields to close out the Bears scoring.
Eagles 25, Bears 20
Atlanta Falcons @ New Orleans Saints
The Narrative
With the Falcons safely out of the playoff picture, they finally unchain Desmond Ridder from the bench. Something the Saints refuse to do with Rapey McCrablegs, despite The Red Zip Gun, Andy Dalton playing like lukewarm ass.
The Outcome
And how did Ridder do in his long anticipated debut?
Oh. Alrighty then.
And yet, they still only lost by three points.
My prediction that the NFC South winner will have ten losses looks more plausible by the week.
Whodat Shoutout
Falcons RB Tyler Allgeier (5th rd Rookie, BYU), who led all rushers with 17-139-1, and a long of 43
Saints 21, Falcons 18
Detroit Lions @ New York Jets
The Narrative
A tale of two teams who have completely flipped the script on where they were six weeks ago. The Lions come in winners of five of their last six. The playoffs are a real possibility for them. The J-E-T-S (This Looks Familiar) come in losers of four of six and sliding out the playoff picture with increasing velocity. And they have to turn back to Zach Wilson at QB, who's probably looking at his last stand in NYC, barring his balling completely out.
The Outcome
Welp... He tried.
Wilson threw for 317 and 2TD, with most f his damage done in the first half. In the second half, he turned back into a pumpkin. The whole Zach Wilson shit show was on full display: Bad passes, worse INTs and random sacks sprinkled in. He looked lost whenever he had to make a decision in the pocket. Not good for a guy fighting for his career.
And yet they were still up 4 deep into the fourth...
*shrug* Win's a win.
Whodat Shoutout
Lions WR Brock Wright (2nd year, Notre Dame), who turned his nly catch of the day into a 51-yard game winner.
Lions 20, Jets 17
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Carolina Panthers
The Narrative
A game that looked intriguing in September turns into "Lets just get through this" in December. Though there is still Coach Omar Epps non-losing streak, which the Steelers will have to win out (or go 3-0-1) to maintain.
The Outcome
The Panthers were about as enthusiastic on the field as their fans were in the stands.
The two things that have kept the Panthers relevant in this late seaosn stretch - opportunitstic defense and a solid rush attack - were nowhere to be found on Sunday. Carolina rushed for 21 yards oon 16 carries. No "Chubba Hubbard rushed", not "D'Onta Freeman rushed". The entire team (Both season lows, btw). To contrast, Jaylen Warren had 38 yards an a TD on 11 carries for the Steelers. He was second for the team on the day (Najee Harris went 24-86-1)
One down, three to go, to save the streak.
Whodat Shoutout
Warren (UDFA, Oklahoma ST), who was solid in support of starter Harris.
Steelers 24, Panthers 16
Dallas Cowboys @ Jacksonville Jaguars
The Narrative
What was a penciled -in win for #DemBoyz a month ago suddenly looks like a dogfight. The Jags come in winners of 3-of-5 and coming off a big road win @ Tennessee. The Cowboys come in down several defensive players and looking to bounce back after their worst game of the year (needing a comback drive vs. the one-win Texans).
The Outcome
For three quarters, it was just what the doctor ordered for Dallas. Steady as she goes, a 17-point road lead in the third. The old bugaboos showing up (Kellen Moore's inexplicable tendency to abandon the run, getting eaten up on the d-line, turnovers), but being handled.
Then the fourth quarter. It wasn't that the Jags closed the lead down to three. It's how the 'Boys handled their last possession in regulation. Or rather, the last play. 3-and-10 on their own 38. 1:20 left on the clock. The obvious call here? Run the ball, hope to pop one, force Jacksonville to use their final time out before punting back to them.
So natrually, the call was a deep shot to Noah Brown. Punt. Lawrence has a minute to work the sidelines, which he does. 48-yarder by Riley Patterson as time expires. On to OT. Where Dak has INT #2, which really shouldn't go on him. He hit Brown in the chest with the ball, but the ball ends up in the hands of S Rayshawn Jenkins, who took it the owther way for a walk-off Pick Six.
#FireEverybody
The loss pretty much cost Dallas any real shot at the NFC East (barring a complete collapse by Philly) and a chance to clinch a playoff slot. Though they can still get in if the Giants beat the Deadnames on Sunday Night (more on that later).
The win leaves Jacksonville a game back of Tennessee for the AFC South crown, with a head-to-head game still to come in Week 18. This team has a real shot at a "worst-to-first" turnround. I can't even stay mad at that.
Whodat Shoutout
Jenkins (2017, Miami [Chargers]), who also had 18 total tackles and 2 pass defenses in the game.
Jaguars 40, Cowboys 34 (OT)
Kansas City Chiefs @ Houston Texans
The Narrative
This should be a bloodbath. Period.
The Outcome
Apparently, the Texans have mastered the art of dragging opponents down to their level. What else explains them doing to the Chiefs the exact same thing they did to the Cowboys? Worse even, as teh Cheifs needed overtime to dispatch them.
I guess QB platooning causes just enough confusion to keep the game close.
Or something. Who knows? Or cares, since ultimately, they still lost.
Whodat Shoutout
Texans TE Teagan Quitoriano (Rookie, Oregon ST), who made his only catch of the day count, an 8-yarder from Davis Mills to put Houston up 7-0 to start the tame. It was his fourth reception of the year.
Chiefs 30, Texans 24 (OT)
Arizona Cardinals @ Denver Broncos
The Narrative
Brett Rypien vs. Colt McCoy. Clear your schedules, folks!
The Outcome
Did I say "Colt McCoy?¹" I mean "Trace McSorley."
This game was trash. Next,
Whodat Shoutout
Which part of "This game was trash. Next" did you not understand?
Broncos 24, Cardinals 15
Left the game in the third (Concussion)
New England Patriots @ Las Vegas Raiders
The Narrative
The Trashheap that Bill Built vs. The Broke Vegas Raiders. Joy.
The Outcome
Nothing else about this game matters. Nothing. It's all about that backwards pass.
Chandler Jones, Jon Jones’ brother, with one of the all-time craziest TDs to win a game (or just TD period) pic.twitter.com/nrv7kSd38N
— Ariel Helwani (@arielhelwani) December 19, 2022
What the screaming yellow f*ck was Jacobi Myers trying with that pass? The only Patriot in the area was Mac Jones. Did he expect him to scramble his way the rest of the way? The talking heads have been saying this goes into the pantheon of bad plays along with the Butt Fumble, the Orlovsky Special and Leon Lett (both flavors). Can't argue agaisnt it. That was indefensibly bad. YOU WEREN'T EVEN BEHIND.
For that matter, why did Matt Patricia even call a run? Kneel and take it into OT. Plenty of FAIL to go around here.
Chandler Jones, Jon Jones’ brother, with one of the all-time craziest TDs to win a game (or just TD period) pic.twitter.com/nrv7kSd38N
— Ariel Helwani (@arielhelwani) December 19, 2022Whodat Shoutout
Raider LB Luke Masterson (UDFA, Wake Forest), who led the team with 11 total tackles.
Patriots 30, Raiders 24
Tennessee Titans @ Los Angeles Chargers
The Narrative
The Titans are trying to keep teh AFC South from slipping away. The Chargers are desperately trying to stay in the playoff picture.
The Outcome
Skip the second and third quarters and this was a solid, exciting game..
Justin Herbert opened the game with a TD drive, closed it with the winning FG, and was crap in between (313 and 2 picks for the game). Ryan "Somehow Still The Starter" Tannehill was even worse in the loss (15/22, 155, 0, 2). Tannehill was injured late in teh first quarter and the pulled him for Malik Willis. They put him back in after one series and they clearly shouldn't have, as his injured ankle hobbled him for the rest of the game.
The Chargers have no shot at taking teh West (even if they did the 3-for-3 swap with KC, teh Chiefs have the head-to-head tiebreaker), but they are still in the mix for a wild card. The Titans have seen their lead in the AFC South bleed down to one, with a showdown with second-place Jacksonville looming. This is the longest losing streak (4) of Mike Vrabel's tenure as Titans HC.
Whodat Shoutout
Titans DE DeMarcus Walker (6th year, Florida St.). 2 sacks, 2 TFL, 2 QB hits
Chargers 17, Titans 14
Cincinatti Bengals @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
The Narrative
I fully cop to having no objectivity when it comes to anything Tom Brady related and wish him all the bad things in life.
On the football field that is. I take no (extra) joy in his divorce or other real life down turns.
The Outcome
This will suffice.
Whodat Shoutout
Bucs LB Lavonte David (11th year, Nebraska), 8 tackles, 1 sack , 1 FF
Bengals 34, Bucs 23
[SNF] New York Giants @ Washington Deadnames
The Narrative
A battle for third place doesn't sound very compelling. And it's usually not. In 2022? It's probably jocking for the #6 seed in the playoffs.
The Outcome
Far be it from me, one who routinely shits on the idea of Refball costing a team a win, to suggest the refs cost a team a win.
But the Commandos got bent over a chair with no lube by the refs.
From the illegal formation call on Terry McLauren that negated Brian Robinson's (potential) game winner (Where you can clearly see McLauren asking the line judge if he was lined up properly), to the blatant no-call on Curtis Samuel getting mugged on fourth down.
Yep. The Giants got away with one.
But I have no problem with this because, as aways, #FuckDanSnyder
Whodat Shoutout
Commanders S Bobby McCain (7th year, Memphis¹): 9 solo tackles, 2 assists
Giants 20, Commanders 12
#GoTigersGo!
[MNF] Los Angeles Rams @ Green Bay Packers
The Narrative
Baker Mayfield gets his first official start. On Monday Night. On the Frozen Tundra
The Outcome
Baker's second game in the yellow and blue wasn't nearly as magical as his first.
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