#NFL Week 16 in Review
Welcome to the Week in Review. RIP Franco Harris. RIP Ronnie Hillman.
[TNF] Jacksonville Jaguars @ New York Jets
The Narrative:
Two AFC teams going in different directions. The Jags are surging under second year QB Trevor Lawrence. The Jets are unraveling under the weight of injuries and subpar QB play under Lawrence's 2021 draftmate, Zach Wilson.
IF the Jags win out, they win the AFC South. The Jets will need to win out to stay in playoff contention.
The Outcome:
Well that sucked.
Full disclosure: I tapped out at halftime. The fact that Amazon's video feed was freezing harder than the streets outside didn't help matters.
I can be so bold as to say Zach Wilson (9/18 for 91, 1 INT) has played his way out of New York. Not hard to guess when they pulled the guy for the RPO gimmick guy (Chris Streveler) Frankly, I think only Cleveland's infamous string of QB failures has kept people from looking closer at the J-E-T-S (Same old fail). Five years out of two top three picks. What's the good they've done? Those two playoff runs with Mark Sanchez? The Chad Pennington years? Outside of the Sanchez run, their best years in the last thirty (Since, what? Ken O'Brien?) have been with journeymen (Ryan Fitzpatrick) and aging vets (Vinny Testaverde, Brett Farve). Heads need to roll. Again.
And no, I didn't have much to say about the Jags. One TD and 4 FGs doesn't leave much to talk about.
And to add insult to injury, Jets WR coach Miles Austin was suspended for violating the league's gambling policy, the day after the loss.
Whodat Shoutout:
Strevler: 90 yards passing, 54 rushing after being pressed into duty.
Jaguars 19, Jets 3
Atlanta Falcons @ Baltimore Ravens
The Narrative:
Another Battle of the Backups: Desmond Ridder (in his second start) vs. Tyler Hunley (probably). The Falcons are looking for their second road win of 2023 and first win ever in Baltimore. The Ravens clinch a playoff spot with a win and a Miami or New England loss.
The Outcome:
Okay, seriously... How did the Ravens win this game? How?
Oh, right. The Falcons kept settling for field goals. The Ravens scored TDs. Don't need that much more offense when you can outscore your opponent 2-1 per opportunity.
The Ravens clinch a playoff spot with the win. Maybe (More on that later) The loss officially eliminated the Falcons.
Whodat Shoutout:
Drake London, who I'm betting most people forgot was the Falcon's #1 pick (8th, USC). He was Ritter's top target: (7-96)
Ravens 17, Falcons 9
Detroit Lions @ Carolina Panthers
The Narrative:
The Lions coming looking to continue their amazing in-season turnaround vs. the Panthers. Carolina looks to get their rush attack back on track vs. a still-suspect Lions rush defense. They can STILL win the NFC South by winning out.
The Outcome:
You know that bad Lions defense that hasn't been an issue for the last month? It was an issue.
The Panthers ran up a league-high 320 yards rushing, with D'Onta Foreman and Chubba Hubbard combining for 290 of them (on 33 carries). Sam Darnold chipped in with 250 and a score through the air (along with a rushing TD).
Jared Goff fought back with 355 and 3, but the bugaboos that dogged the Lions earlier in the season (rushing offense and defense) came back in spades (45 yards rushing as a team on top of the aforementioned drubbing on defense)
Whodat Shoutout:
Raheem Blackshear (does still count as a "whodat" if this is his second shoutout?), who is proving to have a nose for the end zone. He opened the game's scoring with a 7-yard run.
Buffalo Bills @ Chicago Bears
The Narrative:
The Bills look to maintain their hold on the AFC East and the #1 seed. A win or a Miami loss locks in the division title. They'll do it in Buffalo Weather™ (forecast of 10° and high winds at kickoff)
The Bears come in losers of seven straight. But no one cares because JUSTIN FIELDS IS THE REAL DEAL!
The Outcome:
The only surprise here is how little impact Fields had (Only 11 yards rushing, along with the usual hundred or so passing yards). His mounting injuries (the shoulder, in addition to someone stepping on his foot here, resulting in another Peter Man cameo) are clearly taking their toll on him. No reason to leave him in at this point Let the Peter Man take the abuse for the last two games.
I tell a lie: Another surprise is the usual moribund Bills running game came to play for once. 12-106-1 for Devin Singletary and 11-99-1 for James Cook.
The win locked down the AFC East for Buffalo and left them in the 1 seed for the playoffs. The loss leaves the Bears in the #2 draft position behind Houston. Winning out can drop them as low as 8th. Even more reason to shelve Fields and give The Peter Man the keys to the tank.
Whodat Shoutout:
Velus Jones Jr., who led the Bears in receiving (2-52)
Bills 35, Bears 13
New Orleans Saints @ Cleveland Browns
The Narrative:
More games, more COLD.
Wind gusts of 50 MPH coming off Lake Erie will potentially drive the wind chill factor into the negative 30s. That's "don't leave livestock out" weather.
Frankly, if the Saints just conceded, I don't think anyone would reasonably complain.
The Outcome:
NEXT!
Whodat Shoutout:
Browns DB Grant Delpit: 1 INT, 7 total tackles and a pass defensed.
Saints 17, Browns 10
Seattle Seahawks @ Kansas City Chiefs
The Narrative:
KC can't clinch the West (let alone the #1 seed) with a win. Nor can Seattle clinch a playoff spot with a win. A loss can be damaging for both, granted much more so for the Seahawks, who are likely eliminated with a loss. Seattle also comes in without Tyler Lockett, who'll miss his second-game ever with a surgically-repaired hand.
Silver lining: It's still not Geno's fault!
The Outcome:
Or is it?
Since his 367-yd, 3TD outburst vs. the Rams four weeks ago, Geno's output has been mediocre at best.(25/40 for 215, 1 and 1 on the day). Either the lack of offensive punch is dragging down the defense or the defense has always been trash (29th total, 31st vs. the pass).
And yet, that mediocrity was leagues above what The Former Guy delivered. (More on him in a bit)
TL;DR: The Chiefs had an easy time of it. With the exception of the final drive (a turnover on downs with time running down), every Chiefs possession was a punt in 6 plays or less or a scoring drive.
- The Vikes did have some bad luck when it came to first round receivers, at least the ones between Randy Moss and Justin Jefferson. Even Cordarelle Patterson was a disappointment³ until he went to Atlanta.
- On seven targets. Yikes.
- As a receiver. He was a multi-time All-Pro return guy.
New York Giants @ Minnesota Vikings
The Narrative:
NFC North champion Minnesota (they of the biggest comeback ever, yet still no respect) needs to win to keep pace with Philly for the #1 seed. The Giants need to win to stay in control of their own playoff destiny. They're in with the win and losses by two out of the following three: Detroit, Seattle and/or Washington.
The Outcome:
Another week, another narrow, last-second victory by the Vikes.
Justin Jefferson (12-133-1) caught a 17-yard pass on third down to set up Greg Joseph's career high 61-yard field goal. This coming after a 7-yard sack from a blitzing Landon Collins made it look like OT was a certainty. TJ "Why did the Lions think trading me in-division was a good idea?" Hockenson matched Jefferson with 102 yards and 2 TDs on 10 catches.
Jefferson passed Randy Moss for the team's single season receiving yards record with 1756 AND Cris Carter's record for receptions with 123. He did it in one fewer game than either one of them. And he has (hypothetically¹) an extra game to work with.
Whodat Shoutout:
Giants WR Richie James, who led the team with 8 catches for 90 yards.
Vikings 27, Giants 24
- Assuming the Vikes have anything to play for in Week 18 and they don't just shut him down for the day.²
- Though if he's close to Calvin Johnson's yards record (1,964 in 2012) or Michael Thomas' receptions record (149 in 2019), they'll probably give him at least the first half. ³
- If he gets both, would that make his season as good or better than Cooper Kupp's last year?
Cincinnati Bengals @ New England Patriots
The Narrative:
The Bengals come in winners of six straight, leading Baltimore by a game for the AFC North lead. The Pats come in losers of three of their last four and seriously needing to give up on Mac Jones or Matt Patrica a game out of the final playoff spot, squarely in "Win and Get Help" territory.
The Outcome:
It looked for a second like the Bengals were telling the Colts "Hold my beer", about to gag a 22-pt lead to the Pats. When for the second week in a row, the Pats shot themselves in teh foot with a fumble on their final drive. This time Rhamondre Stevenson did the honors, stripped by Bengals safety Vonn Bell at the Bengals' 8-yard line with 55 seconds remaining.
Tough luck, Darth Hoodie.
The win keeps the #1 seed in play for the Bengals. The loss all but eliminates the Pats, who would need to win out and get tons of help. The loss also means the Ravens are officially in. *tosses confetti*
Whodat Shoutout:
Pats rookie DB Marcus Jones: With his 69¹ yard INT return, he becomes the second player in league history with a Pick Six, a punt return TD and a reception of 40 yards or longer. The other one? Deion Sanders.
And that's "in a career" not "in a year." #respect
Bengals 22, Patriots 18
- Nice.
Houston Texans @ Tennessee Titans
The Narrative:
Hang on, folks; It's Malik Willis Time again! With Ryan Tannehill out (likely for the regular season, possibly longer), the third-round rookie gets the start again. And he'll need to step up, as the Titans will likely need to win out to make the playoffs. Houston has spent the last couple of weeks proving they can't be taken lightly, despite their single win. They can steal a win or two without endangering the #1 draft pick.
The Outcome:
Oh, Titans...
The coldest home game in Titans/Oilers history went to the scrappy Texans. Davis "Not Giving Up Without a Fight" Mills threw a 6-yard touchdown pass to Brandin Cooks with 2:52 left, sealing the win and snapping a nine-game losing streak.
King Henry, once again, went wild in the first quarter (84 yards, including a 48-yard TD) and was largely silent for the rest of the game (42 yards after the first, with a lost fumble). Once again, Malik Willis was more of a hindrance than a help: rushing for 43 yards and a score, but throwing for 99 yards and 2 picks. And still again, the Titans' WR corps (AKA "We'll be fine without AJ Brown") didn't lend much help.¹
People are asking if this last streak of strong play may salvage Lovey Smith's job. It shouldn't, but it wouldn't be quite as insane an idea as it would've been a month or two ago. At a minimum, if the Texans decide the guy they want isn't available/interested, they got someone they can plausibly hang on to.
With the loss, Jacksonville takes the AFC South lead, via head-to-head tiebreaker. This sets up a winner-take-all matchup at Tennessee in Week 18.
Guess what game is getting flexed to Sunday Night?
Whodat Shoutout:
Truthfully, you could give this to 75% of the Texans' roster. But we'll go with S Jalen Pitre: an INT, 9 tackles and a pass defensed. He'd be getting ROTY talk if he didn't play for Football Siberia.
Texans 19, Titans 14
- Nick Westbrook-Ikhine and Robert Woods combined for 6 catches and 53 yards. They were the only WRs to catch a pass for the Titans.
Washington Deadnames @ San Francisco 49ers
The Narrative:
Barring a collapse by the teams in front of them, the Niners are likely slotted into the #3 seed. A comfortable place for young Brock "Mr. Relevant" Purdy to be. The Commies are currently in the 7th and final playoff slot, but one loss could leave them on the outside.
The Outcome:
For one half, the Commandos made Brock Purdy look like an actual 7th round, third-string QB, fighting the West-leading Niners to a 7-7 tie.
Too bad for the Deadnames they play two halves.
Purdy threw TDs of 34 and 33 to George Kittle (who's been brought back from the dead with Purdy under center) to break the game wide open. Three Robbie Gould FGs and a 1-yd TD from Christian "No actual Pro Bowl, still a snub" McCaffrey added to the onslaught.
How bad did it get for the Fucksnyders? Taylor Heineke was pulled in the fourth for Carson Wentz.
Whodat Shoutout:
Niners WR Ray-Ray McCloud III¹: 1 carry, but it was a 71-yard TD off a jet sweep
Niners 37, Commanders 20
- A name that would've been right at home in the 1970s
Philadelphia Eagles @ Dallas Cowboys
The Narrative:
Dallas probably blew their chance to make this a showdown for the NFC East¹ with last week's loss to Jacksonville. Naturally, this means they'll face "El Mustacio Magnifico" Gardner Minshew instead of Jalen Hurts under center for the Eagles.
A win (or a tie and a Vikings loss/tie) gives the Eagles the top seed and the wild card bye.
The Outcome:
The Eagles fans scoff. "You beat our back up QB" they sneer.
Remind me again who was under center when you guys beat Dallas?
Dak Prescott overcame early struggles (including another Pick 6) to finish with 347 and 3, including a 52-yarder to newly-activated T.Y. Hilton on a 3rd-and-15 throw. CeeDee Lamb celebrated his Pro Bowl nod with 120 yards and 2 TDs on 10 catches. Tony Pollard made up for his lackluster rushing stats (9-19) with 6-61 receiving.
Minshew held up his end of the bargain, throwing for 355 and 2, but with 2 picks. AJ Brown and DeVonta Smith combined for 216 yards on 14 catches (2 TDs for Smith). But the two picks and two fumbles proved to be the deciding factor.
The Eagles can still clinch the NFC East with a win next week vs. the Saints. Dallas can steal the division if they win out and Philly loses their remaining games (They'd win teh division via division record tiebreaker).
Whodat Shoutout:
Eagles DE Josh Sweat, who took Prescott's interception 42 yards to give the Eagles a 10-3 lead. He also had 1.5 sacks and another pass deflection.
Cowboys 40, Eagles 34
Seriously... Marketing be damned: Swap Dallas and Carolina's divisions already. #MakeItMakeSense
[Saturday Night] Las Vegas Raiders @ Pittsburgh Steelers
The Narrative:
What was supposed to be a celebration of the 50th anniversary of The Immaculate Reception instead will turn into a memorial for the hero of that play, Steeler legend Franco Harris.
And, of course, there's also Mike Tomlin's non-losing streak, which a loss will snap.
The Outcome:
Okay, first thing's first:
STOP CALLING THIS "THE IMMACULATE INTERCEPTION!"
Cam Sutton called game 🗣
— Pittsburgh Steelers (@steelers) December 25, 2022
📺 #PITvsBAL 1/1 at 1 PM ET on CBS pic.twitter.com/nOjJ7Ei3qb
That was a good pick off a bad throw. Nothing miraculous or "immaculate" about it. #WordsMeanThings
Besides, the name was already claimed by James Harrison's SB LVIII interception return.
Now then... About the game.
It sucked.
It was a low-intensity, sloppy, turnover-filled slog.
Helluva way to honor a fallen legend.
Whodat Shoutout:
Steelers TE Connor Heyward: The (younger) Son of Ironhead had a 21-yard carry from the h-back position.
Steelers 13, Raiders 10
Green Bay Packers @ Miami Dolphins
The Narrative:
The Dolphins can afford to drop this game and still make the playoffs (They MUST beat the Pats and Jets). But they probably don't want to try that coming off a four-game losing streak. Green Bay is squarely in "Win and get help" territory.
Both teams are likely thanking God this game isn't in Lambeau this week (game time forecast: Sunny and 6 (wind chill -15).
The Outcome:
Remember the Tua Tangyvanilla who would rack up yards and rack up turnovers right along side? The one that made every question if he had what it took to be a big time NFL QB? For at least one game, he was baaaaaack!
Tua collapsed down the stretch, throwing 3 INTs in the fourth, after carving up the Packers' secondary in the first half. The Fins' fifth loss out of six seems to have put the Miami formula on full display: Limit the number of big plays to Hill (4-103) and Waddell (5-143-1) and make Tua make decisions rather than play pitch-and-catch and the Blowholes are easy pickings.
The win keeps the Cheeseheads' playoff hopes alive. Though that might be moot if Christian Watson can't go vs. Minnesota (day-to-day with a hip injury that knocked him out of the game). The loss pushes the one-division leading Dolphins into "Win + Help" territory.
Whodat Shoutout:
Dolphins RB Jeff Wilson JR. The former Niner scored Miami's lone rushing TD (9-37-1 for the day)
Packers 26, Dolphins 20
Denver Broncos @ Los Angeles Rams
The Narrative:
Then the most interesting angle on a game is a reunion of former teammates (Former Seahawk mainstays Russell Wilson (broncos) and Bobby Wagner (Rams) ), you know you're probably looking at a dud.
This is also a matchup of two teams who don't even reap the benefits of being bad: Both teams traded their 2023 first rounder for a QB (one of whom isn't even in this game).
Also, this game will be simulcast on Nickelodeon, marking their first regular season NFL game. (I -think).
The Outcome:
Dear Broncos Ownership.
Fire. Everyone.
The coaches. The players. The GM that picked both. Clean house. This kind of fail cannot go unpunished.
Wagner scored an INT and a sack, along with 8 total tackles and 2 pass defensed. Clearly he got the better of this meeting of former teammates. Stats be damned, this may be Russell Wilson's worst game as a pro. (worthy of Patrick Star mockery) He threw three INTs (Brett Rypien added a late Pick Six), ate six sacks and consistently failed to connect with his receivers (on one of his picks, you could see Courtland Sutton walk to the sideline in disgust... While the ball was still in play). The entire team - ESPECIALLY the defense - looked similarly unprepared and overmatched, giving up three TDs to Cam Akers (along with his first 100-yard game since 2020). Baker Mayfield, in his third game as a Ram, hit 24 of 28 attempts for 285 and 2.
Someone had to pay for this. Nathaniel Hackett is likely merely the first.
Whodat Shoutout:
Rams DT Larrell Murchison, who had two of the Rams' six sacks, along with 2 TFLs and 2 QB hits.
Rams 51, Broncos 14
(SNF) Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Arizona Cardinals
The Narrative:
Not a good thing when, the further along you go in the week, the less interesting the matchups are.
Tampa continues to limp towards the playoffs. Arizona is just playing out the string at this point.
The Outcome:
Just what I wanted for Christmas: A kicking duel.
A kicking duel where the Cardinals had the Bucs down by 10 in the 4th and choked. Don't let anyone gaslight you about how TB12 led another classic comeback. The Bucs LOST this game. Todd McSorley - pressed into service when Colt McCoy was Protocol'd out of the game - spent the entire game failing to connect with his two best receivers - Nuk Hopkins (1-4 on TEN TARGETS) and Hollywood Brown (3-57 on 7 targets, the bulk of which was a 48-yarder, late 3rd).
Brady was having arguably the worst game of his career when the Cardinals did something teams tend to do with alarming (and infuriating) regularity when he's involved: They let him hang around. A stop here, a score there, a clock-eating drive here. Any of those may have preserved the win for 'Zona. Here's their drives after trading TDs in the early fourth: Fiumble, punt, INT, punt (the last one in OT).
Yeah, I know it's Todd McSorley, the third stringer, under center. But come on. Gotta close that out.
Can't imagine this will be a positive for Kliff Kingsbury¹ come Black Monday.
Whodat Shoutout:
Greg Dortch, who was McSorley's top target on the night (10-98). He also tacked on 25 yards rushing.
Buccaneers 18, Cardinals 16
Who was a teammate of Brady's in New England, as everyone on Earth kept reminding us.
(MNF) Los Angeles Chargers @ Indianapolis Colts
The Narrative:
It's Game 1 of the post-"Biggest Blown Lead Ever" era for Jeff Saturday's Colts. And they'll do with with Nick "How the mighty have fallen" Foles in for the injured Matt Ryan.
The Chargers can clinch a playoff spot with win. Which likely also clinches Brandon Staley's job for 2023. Whether or not it should is another discussion.
The Outcome:
And a bad week of football wraps up with a bad Monday Night game.
After a scoreless first quarter, the Chargers never trailed. The Colts didn't put up much of a fight, gaining only 173 yards total offense. 143 of those yards were from Folk's passing. And that was negated by the three interceptions he threw.
The win secures a wild card berth for the Chargers. The loss was the Colts' fifth-straight and eighth out of nine. Not what you'd call a strong response to last week's historic fail.
Whodat Shoutout:
No one involved here deserves shit.
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