#NFL 2022 - Week 3

 Welcome to the Week in Review.  Still in the running for the Super Bowl Halftime Show #FingersCrossed

Before we start:  My thoughts on the biggest news of the day - one that’s literally been years in the making.   Starting this year, the Pro Bowl will be replaced with the Pro Bowl Games - a week-long showcase of skills and competitions, culminating in a flag football game¹.  While I am a bit sad to see such an institution go the way of the NFL/College All-Star Game, let’s be real.  No one’s had anything positive to say about the Pro Bowl since Sean Taylor tried to murder Brian Moorman in 2006.  The players have been finding excuses to beg off ever since even practice players made enough to afford their own Hawaii vacations.

Maybe the players themselves will start caring again if you turn it into a All-Star weekend-style event.

I, for one, will continue to not watch.

1. Which pulls double-duty as the NFL has been trying to push flag football as the Next Big Thing for years, up to and including suggesting it for at least exhibition status in upcoming LA Summer Games.

[TNF] Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cleveland Browns

The Narrative: It’s a battle for the AFC North lead in the early going.  It’s also a battle of two QBs (Jake Brisket and Mitch “Chase Claypool is my WR1? Really?” Trubisky), trying to prove they belong in the starting lineup¹.

The Outcome: There are only really two things people were talking about coming out of this game.  If you only heard about the one - George Pickens’ OBJ-esque catch - you’d think the Steelers won.  If you’d only heard about the other - Mitch Trubisky basically vanishing in the second half - you’d have thought Cleveland won by 20.  Once Cleveland made the halftime adjustments to both free up Myles Garrett and cut off Trubisky’s favored sideline routes, the Steeler offense evaporated.  Trubisky didn’t light up the box score (20/32 for 207)², but he wasn't the reason for their loss either.  Coach Omar Epps will probably give Trubisky one more week to right the ship before handing things over to the rookie, Kenny Pickett.  Which shows loyalty to your vets (and probably plays well in the locker room), but I’m betting there’s a bunch who are wondering where they’d be if Tomlin had pulled a Pete Carroll and started Pickett from the beginning.

David Njoku had what was likely his once-a-season flash of ability that will keep on the roster for next year (9-89, 1 TD).

And it’s a good thing the Browns had already locked down the cover (Steelers +4.5) or that last second, lateralpalooza-turned-fumble-return would’ve left a lot of folks salty AF.

Browns 29, Steelers 17

1. Or at least somebody’s lineup, as everybody knows he’s out once Happy McEnding clears suspension.

2. For the record, Brissett wasn’t that much better: 21/31 for 220 and 2 scores

Houston Texans @ Chicago Bears

The Narrative:  I’d say “Someone has to win”, but Houston already has a tie on their record. There’s also the growing concern over Justin Fields’ lack of improvement. And a complete lack of concern for improvement in Houston.

The Outcome: The Bears played it oldschool, leaning on the running game (281 yards, including 157 and 2 TDs by Whodat of the Week, Khalil Herbert) and an opportunistic defense to keep things close.

Yet it still took a timely INT by Roquan Smith (who they didn’t know if he’d be able to play until 90 minutes before kickoff) to hold off the mediocre-at-best Texans.

I know the Bears, like the Texans, are viewing this season as an extended audition for 2023.  But if Fields wants to be part of that future, he’s gonna need to improve on this:

.

Bears 23, Texans 20

Las Vegas Raiders @ Tennessee Titans

The Narrative: It’s not often you see a “must win” game in September, but here we are.  Both teams have underwhelmed (to put it mildly) and a loss puts their season on life support.

The Outcome:  The Titans shook off their offensive woes and put it on the Raiders in the first half, jumping out to a 24-10 halftime lead.  Ryan “Malik Who?” Tannehill threw for one score and ran for another in the first half and Derrick Henry re-found his mojo, adding a score of his own.

And the Titans made that stick because that offensive burst vanished in the second half.  The Raiders rallied to within two on a Carr to Mack Hollins connection.  But the Titans managed to knock away the two-point attempt pass to Darren Waller, securing the win.

Tannehill finished the game with 19/27 passing for 264 yards, 1 score and 1 pick, plus the TD run.  Henry got back on track with 85 and a score on 20 carries.  Derek “Good thing they don’t have anyone to replace me with” Carr had 303, 2 and 1 in the losing effort.

Josh McDaniel (Offensive Genius) became the third Silver & Black coach to start 0-3, joining his predecessor, Jon Gruden (0-3 in 2018) and Art Shell during his second stint (0-5 in 2006).  

Titans 22, Raiders 20

Kansas City Chiefs @ Indianapolis Colts

The Narrative: The Colts come in with their backs firmly against the wall, with an 0-1-1 record vs.  two not-good teams.  The Chiefs, on the other hand, are an expected 2-0 coming in and expect to keep the good times rolling.  Though they’d probably like to see more production out of their WR corps (ESPECIALLY presumptive WR1 JuJu Smith-Schuster).

The Outcome: Matt “You Guys Were Really Counting On A37-YO QB To Take You Over The Top?” Ryan threw two INTs, gave up two fumbles, got sacked five times and took 11 QB hits.  And still won.

That says not good things about you, KC.

So does your star QB and your OC jawing at each other heading into the locker room.

Outside of the comeback vs. Arizona, the KC offense has been “meh” at best.  But y’all didn’t really need Tyreke Evans, right?

Colts 20, Chiefs 17

Buffalo Bills @ Miami Dolphins

The Narrative: Who called this game being for the early AFC East lead?  Tua Tangyvanilla looks to build on last week’s breakout game.  Buffalo looks to keep their early season dominance going vs. a division rival.

The Outcome: The Dolphins pulled off a major home upset, staking their claim to the AFC’s top slot. Tua overcame a shaky first half to pull his team through to the victory.  The Bills took the loss despite a 400 yd/2 TD game from Josh Allen.

But what’s everyone talking about?

“Butt Punt.”

Dolphins 21, Bills 19

Detroit Lions @ Minnesota Vikings

The Narrative: The surprisingly competent and competitive Lions look to build on their early season success vs. a Viking team looking to rebound from yet another prime time flameout.

The Outcome: Dan Campbell made bold moves all game, going for it on six fourth downs (making four of them) and comfortably throwing short of the sticks on third, setting up short fourths.  But with the game on the line on a 4th-and-4, up by 3, with under 90 seconds on the clock, Campbell chose to kick a 54-yard FG, rather than go for it again or punt and give the Vikes a longer field.  (Despite Austin Seibert having already shanked a 48-yarder).  And... Miss.

Kirk “The Hydrangea¹” Cousins hit K.J. Osborn with the game winning 28-yd pass less than 30 seconds later.

Stick to your guns, Young Lions.  Stick to your guns.

1. Hydrangeas are known to wilt in heavy heat or light.

Vikings 28, Lions 24

Baltimore Ravens @ New England Patriots

The Narrative:  The Pats are looking vulnerable on both sides of the ball.  And you can bet the Ravens are looking to keep the bad times rolling.

The Outcome: RB8 threw for 218 and 4 scores and ran for a further 107 and 1, while the defense picked off Mac “You Sir, Are No Tom Brady” Jones four times.  The Pats took a 20-14 lead after halftime on a Damien Harris 2-yd run.  But the Ravens took the lead right back on the very next possession and never looked back.

On the plus side for NE: DeVante Parker finally showed up (5-156).

Ravens 37, Patriots 26

Cincinnati Bengals @ New York Jets

The Narrative: Which is the bigger question for the Bengals: “Can they pick up a road win vs. a feisty Jets team” or “Can they limit the Burrow sacks to three or less?”

For the Jets, anything that isn’t a blowout is basically a win.

The Outcome:  The sacks were down to two (but the QB Hits were still at nine).  But that seemed to be good enough.  It helped that the Bengal defense stepped up, picking off Joe “They’re gonna have to drag me out of the league” Flacco twice and sacking him four times.

Jets rookie CB Sauce Gardner came through clutch, holding the previously unstoppable Ja'Marr Chase to 29 yards on 6 catches.  Unfortunately, that attention let Tyler Boyd (4-105, 1 TD) and Tee Higgins (5-93) loose.

Robert Saleh’s bunch looks like they’re squarely in the “Can get you if you take them lightly” category, which is a massive upgrade from last year’s trash fire.

Bengals 27, Jets 12

Philadelphia Eagles @ Washington Deadnames

The Narrative:  The Eagles look to keep the Jalen Hurts Ascension Tour going.  Ditto the Deanames and their “Stay Out Of The Cellar” campaign.

The Outcome:  The Iggles are bound and determined to make me look like a chump, re: Jalen Hurts,aren’t they?

Hurts threw for 340 and 3 scores as the Philly ‘D beat their former brother-in-arms, Carson Wentz into the dirt (9 sacks, 17 hits, 1 lost fumble). Washington was also 0-2 in Red Zone possessions (both TOD).

“Staying out of the cellar” doesn’t look like such a sure thing right now.

Eagles 24, Commanders 8

New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers

The Narrative: As I have said WAY too often, why even have a backup if you can’t trust them in this scenario?  Why even upgrade to Andy Dalton if you’re not going to use him in a scenario where Rapey McCrablegs has multiple fractures <i>in his back?</i>?

This has all the earmarks of a game the Panthers could steal and steal big.

The Outcome:  Let’s be frank here:  That Sam Darnold and Matt Corrall are on IR are the ONLY reasons Baker Mayfield (12/25 for 170, 1 TD) is still the Panthers’ starting QB.  And the bulk of that 170 came on a swing pass to Laviska Shenault that he turned into a 67-yd TD.

A stout defensive effort - including a 44-yd fumble return by Marcus Haynes - along with 108 rushing yards ground out by Run CMC were enough to win the day.

Right now, Winston is a clear liability.  Granted, losing Michael Thomas, Jarvis Landry and Tre'Quan Smith in the second half absolutely did not help.  But Winston’s injured back is clearly affecting him.  If the Saints want to salvage this season, Dalton needs to start vs. Minnesota and stay under center until Winston is pain-free.

Panthers 22, Saints 14

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Los Angeles Chargers

The Narrative:  All eyes are on Justin Herbert, who comes in with busted ribs.  I’m always dubious when teams elect to run out injured QBs in the early seasons rather than put in the backups.

Meanwhile, the Jags are improving bit by bit, week by week.

The Outcome:  Not sure if this is a case of JAX putting it together or the Chargers Chargering early.

“Yes” is on the table.

Granted, the Chargers were riddled with injuries, up to and including Justin Herbert and his riblets.

Speaking of Herbert:  I have often stated here that certain things should be instant fireable offense when it comes to head coaches.

Leaving Herbert in, busted ribs and all, late in the fourth quarter, down by 28 points, is one of those things.  Justifying that decision by saying “Herbert wanted to stay in”, doubly so.

Maybe someday, Brandon Staley will look at his time in LA the way Pete Carroll does the Jets and Bill Belichick does the Browns.(i.e. A valuable learning experience).  Maybe he’ll prove he’s just not cut out for HC duties.  But he should not be head coach of the Chargers right now.  Period.

And LA has already announced Chase “Oh, NOW you call on me” Daniels will get the start vs. Jacksonville.

Jaguars 38, Chargers 10

Atlanta Falcons @ Seattle Seahawks

The Narrative:  A tale of two QBs who are performing just as barely adequately as we thought they would.  Who can step up to “Okay” and take the day:  Marcus Mariota or Geno Smith?

The Outcome: Geno Smith looked to be the one to step, putting up a strong 325 yards with 2 TDs and generally looking more comfortable stretching the field.

And then came the fourth quarter where he ended the game taking several bad sacks and throwing an even-worse game ending INT.

Baby steps, I suppose.

Cordarrelle Patterson was the hero of the day for the Dirty Birds, rushing for 141 yards and a TD on 17 carries.  Kyle Pitts had 87 yards on 5 catches.  The Falcons are 4-0 when Pitts has 80+ receiving yards.

Falcons 27, Seahawks 23

Green Bay Packers @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Quick Aside: I am a proud early (possibly charter) member of the Fuck Brett Favre committee.  So it is with utter horror that I observed SO many people either dismissing Favre’s fraud charges (FEDERAL, let me remind you) or just caping for the Gunslinger.  Especially in the face of criticism of the sportsnets that Michael Vick and Colin Kaepernick’s case got FAR more coverage from them.¹

“Of course they covered those more.  Vick and Kaepernick were active players.”
“Innocent until proven guilty.”
“Favre didn’t steal anything.”²
“What Vick/Kapernick did was far worse.”
“He was just helping his daughter.”

I saw someone say every one of those.  In public, for the world to see.

My god, people suck.

On to the game...

The Narrative: Whoever loses, we win.

The Outcome:  Much like Discount Double Check’s Week 1 debacle, I’m not going to get very many chances to gloat at TB12’s misfortunes.  Especially since that misfortune was a self-own.

Not sure what Brady saw that made him audible, but he clearly wasn’t watching the clock like he should.  Delay of game, five yards added, incomplete on the retry. Onside attempt fails.

Oh, darn.

1.  Hmm.. Wonder what the differences in those cases are.

2. Some people literally don’t know what “fraud” means

[SNF] San Francisco 49ers @ Denver Broncos

The Narrative: The Niners look to pick up a big road win while getting re-used to Jimmy G being under center.  Denver looks to finally get some offense going.  ANY offense.

The Outcome:  I thought having Garoppolo under center was supposed to improve the Niners’ offense.  At any rate, you don’t expect him to pull an Orlovsky.

But this slog may have finally unlocked the obvious for the Broncos: They scored their first and only TD of the night when Russell Wilson started A) Calling his own number on runs and B) Audibling at the line.  I appreciate Mr. Ciara trying to show his rookie HC some respect.  But sometimes, you gotta pull rank and call it when you see shit ain’t gonna work.  Hopefully, Nathaniel Hackett will lean more on Russ going forward.

But, as Jim Ross would say, that was bowling shoe-ugly.

Broncos 11, Niners 10

[MNF] Dallas Cowboys @ New York Giants

The Narrative: Two teams trying to keep pace with the Eagles(!) in the NFC East. The Cowboys look to build on last week’s win and get the offense out of second gear.

The Outcome:  Two consistent offensive halves, Dallas... Is that so much to ask?

A 6-6 slog at halftime turned into something of a shootout in the second half.  Saquon Barkley had a 36-yard TD run to give the Giants a 13-6 lead.  The ‘Boys answered with 1 yard TDs from Zeke Elliot and CeeDee Lamb (Directly countering their red zone haplessness of the first half) and never looked back.

The G-Men had a last chance to drive down and tie the game, but Sterling Sheppard pulled up on the pattern, allowing Travon Diggs to easily pull in a game-sealing INT.  Sheppard was later diagnosed with an ACL tear and is done for the season.  Bummer.

Overly narrow achievement:  Cooper Rush is the first QB since the merger to lead a game winning drive in the 4th quarter or OT in each of his first three starts.  Give the kid his props:  He’s not going to remind anyone of Dak or Tony Romo, but he’s done the job he was signed to do and has done so competently.  Now if we can just get some pop from the TE/WR2...

Cowboys 23, Giants 16