2021 Week 18
Welcome to the Week in Review. This feels weird.
Kansas City Chiefs @ Denver Broncos
For about three and a half quarters, the Denver Broncos were proving the world wrong. They were up 21 - 20, 2nd and 2 on the Chiefs' 9, under eight minutes left. Even a field goal makes it a two-score game. Win probability quite high for the Broncos. Drew Lock (a native of KC), at that moment, was proving all the haters (like me) wrong.
And then this happened.
The Broncos scored a FG on the subsequent possession, but it was clear the Scoop & Score snuffed out whatever fire they were playing with.
The football gods giveth, and the football gods taketh away.
KC clinched at least the #2 seed with the win, with a shot at the bye with a Titans loss. The Broncos start the offseason with a serious question about Vic Fangio. As Bomani Jones said (repeatedly) about Jason Garrett: I can come up with reason after reason to fire him (lack of overall progress, three seasons with double-digit losses, defense got worse under him), but none to keep him. Yeah, you can argue that most of the Broncos' issues are out of Fangio's control (starting with the lack of a quality QB), but can you really say Fangio has shown he could right the ship given time (and resources)
And Fangio was fired as I write this... Frankly, this seems like a better stop for a GM candidate than a HC..
Chiefs 28, Broncos 24
Dallas Cowboys @ Philadelphia Eagles
This was a game Dallas really should've rolled the dice with backups on.
Dak Prescott has not looked like himself. Ditto and double for Zeke Elliott. Both started and played most of the game. Folks like me were screaming "Let them rest, we'll need them for the playoffs."
And they both preceded to have their best games since October: Dak threw a career-high 5 TDs on 296 yards passing. The 5 gave Dak the team single season record for passing TDs at 37 (beating Tony Romo's record of 35). Zeke had 18-87, letting him top 1K yards for the third time in his career.
But still, the Eagles looked like the playoff team they are, matching the Cowboys blow-for-blow. Right up until the last few minutes of the second quarter. Kenny Gainwell scored from 7 out to tie the game at 17. Dallas went straight down the field to go back up by seven on a Dak to Dalton Schultz connection.
Then the Eagles went 3-and-out on the next possession, looking very much like a team who was running out of gas. Dallas scored on another Schultz TD catch right before the half and the rout was on.
I'd have still gone with Cooper Rush and Corey Clement for the duration, but oh well.
And I know: Yadda yadda “We’da won with Jalen Hurts!” And we’d have won by 50 if Tony Pollard (Foot), Micah Parsons and Trayvon Diggs (Human Malware) had played. So shut it.
The win set up Dallas to take advantage of any Sunday upset: Losses by the Rams and Cardinals gives Dallas the #3 seed. That, plus a Tampa Bay loss would give them the #2¹. Otherwise, they get the NFC West runner up as the #4 seed. Philly could only move up to #6 with a win. With the loss, they're the #7, awaiting whoever shakes out as the 4 as their opponent.
As an aside: This was a big game for the city of Memphis, as Memphis native Cedrick Wilson (5-119, 2 TDs) and U. of M alum Gainwell (12-78, 1 TD)² both had career days.
Cowboys 51, Eagles 26
- Tampa had the head-to-head tiebreaker over Dallas, but a three-way tie scenario would send it to conference record for the first tiebreak, where Dallas has the superior record.
- Looking at his stats to confirm the "career" high, it makes me wonder why the Iggles haven't given Gainwell more run. He seems to give them good value when they give him more than a couple of jet sweeps per game.
Now let's jump around a bit to address the NFC Seeding Scenario:
Carolina Panthers @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
This was always going to be the biggest obstacle to the Cowboys climbing the ladder. The Panthers had already announced that Matt Rhule would be retained as Panther HC, so that pressure was off. But did it remove the "Win one for The Gipper" motivation of playing for Rhule's job or did it remove the temptation to tank the game and grease the rails of Rhule's departure. I have no idea what the players think of Rhule so I have no idea which scenario woud've been more likely.
The Bucs, on the other hand, used a 24-pt fourth quarter to render any speculation moot.
Now the Panthers are right back where they were last year: Looking for a long-term solution at QB and praying for Christian McCaffery's long term health. That 3-0 start and Sam Darnold's hot debut look like total flukes at this point.
The Bucs lock at least the #3 seed and move to the #2 with a Rams loss.
Seattle Seahawks @ Arizona Cardinals
The true wild card among playoff-effecting games, as both teams have shown that they can play with anyone and are just as likely to get inexplicably dog walked by anyone.
The Cardinals need this win to have a chance of avoiding a home playoff game (They need to win plus a Rams loss to grab the NFC West title). The Seahawks are playing for nothing than pride and (possibly) sending Russell Wilson (and maybe Pete Carroll) into their next chapter on a high note.
Now just imagine last week's rally by Dallas, only it was the entire fourth quarter, and Mike McCarthy didn’t attend the Andy Reid School of Clock Management. Result: Seattle Upset.
Rashaad Penny, who was quietly building up some momentum since mid-December, had a career-high 190 yards and a TD, to help push the Seahawks into the offseason on a high-note.
With the loss: Arizona slipped to the #5 seed, awaiting the Rams/Niners game to see who their opponent will be.
Seahawks 23, Cardinals 30
San Francisco 49ers @ Los Angeles Rams
The scenarios were simple: For San Fran: Win or go home. For LA: Win - lock in the NFC West championship and the #3 seed. Lose - pray for a 'Zona loss or fall to #5 and a road game vs. whoever shakes out as #4.
This game was going on at the same time as AZ/SEA, so no clock watching here. Or at least there shouldn't have been.
Apparently, the Rams started chirping when they went up 17-0 in the second quarter. The football gods look unkindly on such hubris, especially from ones who've gagged more than a few gimmie games this very season. To quote George Kittle on the subject, "Plenty of time left, boys."
Kyle Shanahan's oft-misplaced faith in Jimmy Geezus was on full display again, starting Jimmy G over Trey Lance (again). He threw for 318 and a score, but he also threw two INTs on the wrong side of the 50. Matt "Detroit doesn't look so silly after all" Stafford matched his two picks, while throwing for 238 and 3. But Garappolo made the plays down the stretch, including the 14-yarder to Jauan Jennings to take it to OT.
The Niners pushed the ball down the field in a seven-minute, deliberately slow drive for the go-ahead FG in OT. When Stafford and co. were up to match them, Stafford badly underthrew OBJ¹ and rookie Ambry Thomas pulled down the game-ending INT.
This was the keystone game for the NFC playoffs. With it, everything else falls into place. Tampa and Dallas both leapfrog the Rams into the 2 and 3 seeds. LA falls to #4 and gets Round 3 with the Cardinals as their prize. In prime time, no less, as their game gets to be the first Monday Night playoff game. With the win and Philly's loss, the Niners jump into the 6 seed and a date with the aforementioned Cowboys on Sunday Afternoon.
Cooper Kupp failed to set any records this day (glares at Stafford), but did win the season's Triple Crown for receivers (145 catches for 1947 yards and 16 TDs²)
Niners 27, Rams 24 (OT)
- Or he expected OBJ to pull up and he didn't. Either way, something went horribly wrong on that pass.
- All career highs, and the first two good for #2 for a single season.
Now to the AFC Side
Indianapolis Colts @ Jacksonville Jaguars
This had "trap game" written all over it.
The Colts faced a win-and-in scenario in Jacksonville. Barring that, they'd need the Steelers and Raiders to lose. In their path, the league's doormat, the Jaguars. This should've been a simple task for a playoff-caliber team, as the Colts allegedly are. But the Jags have risen to the task at least twice before (both of their previous victims were in the playoff hunt, at least).
In the end: when it counted, the Colts played their worst game since their 1-4 start. They played from behind for the entire game, probable all-pro Johnathan Taylor had just 77 yards and no scores. Carson Wentz saved his worst for last (17/29 for 185, 1 and 1), leading Indy to their seventh-straight loss at Jacksonville.
And to add insult to injury for the Colts, the Jags still locked down the #1 pick in the 2022 draft.
Long-suffering rookie Trevor Lawrence went out on a high note, playing his best game of the season: 23 of 32 for 223 and 2 TDs.
The loss for Indy activated the "no one loses" scenario, where the Chargers and Raiders both get in if they (icing out Pittsburgh,should they win)
Jaguars 26, Colts 11
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Baltimore Ravens
With the Colts out of the way, the Steelers could concentrate on a win-and-virtually-in scenario vs. the Ravens. The odds were stacked against them, even with the MASH unit the Nevermores ahve been virtually all season. Tyler Huntley has proven himself to be up to the task of filling in for Lamar Jackson. That, and Rapelisberger is literally bringing less to the table with every start.
And yet, somehow, they came through again with an improbable win. And when I say "they", I mean "the defenese".
Sidenote: When your WR1 is also topping your rushing list, either he's blown up to epic proportions or Dear Lord you sucked.¹
TJ Watt pulled down a sack in OT that gave him a tie for the single-season sack record, at 22.5. The Football Gods seemed determined to keep Michael Strahan's accursed season on the books, as Watt had one sack reversed into a Tackle For Loss and another half-sack taken away on a penalty (RTP on Casey Heyward). It'll be interesting how many people who'd otherwise kvetch about the 17th game will call Watt the "real" sack leader anyway.
The Steelers go on to watch the Chargers/Raiders game to see if they were the 6th seed, the 7th seed or out.
The Ravens are left to wonder What Might Have Been, had the Football Reapers not decided to run a train on their entire team.
Steelers 16, Ravens 13
1. It was the latter (3 carries, 33 yards. 27-46 for the rest of the team)
New York Jets @ Buffalo Bills
The Bills clinch the AFC East and a home playoff game with a win or Patriots loss. The Jets were jockying for draft position and nothing more.
Unlike most of the game mentioned so far, not much to say here. The game went as predicted, though the Jets' defense did hang tough before running out of steam in the fourth.
The biggest hiccup for the Bills was punter Matt Haack, who shanked two first half punts (for 44 yards total) and squibbing a seven-yarder on a fumbled snap in the second.
The Bills grab the 4th seed with the win. With the loss, the Jets slot into the 4th pick. #Symmetry
Bills 27, Jets 10
New England Patriots @ Miami Dolphins
Pats: Playoffs clinched. Can win AFC East with win+Buffalo loss.
Dolphins: Technically still alive, at this point. I think.
I don't know if the game-ending fumble recovery is a sign of things to come for Darth Hoodie and co. But one can only hope.
A more dire sign might be the Pats getting run on at will by a Dolphins team bound and determined to keep the ball out of Tua Turntheballova's¹ hands. (43-195, 1 TD)
And Brian Flores was rewarded for his efforts with a pink slip. Something tells me he won't be on the market long.
Dolphins 33, Patriots 24
Tennessee Titans @ Houston Texans
Titans: Win, clinch #1 seed and bye. Lose + KC Win = 2nd seed.
Texans: Same time next year.
When Davis Mills is on his game, the Texans are capable of playing with anyone .When he's just another in-over-his-head rookie QB, they're even worse than the Jaguars.
Guess which version of Mills the Titans ran into?
The Titans needed to reach down to hold off a playing for pride (because they traded everything else) Texas squad. Ryan Tannehill threw a career-high four TDs, including a fourth quarter 3-yarder to Julio "About F'ing Time" Jones.
The Titans grabbed the first round bye, which they will use to try and get Derrick Henry into game shape.
The Texans settle in for season 2 of "What Are We Going To Do With Deshawn Watson?"
Titans 28, Texans 25
Cincinnati Bengals @ Cleveland Browns
Stakes for Bengals: I don't actually remember...
Stakes for Browns: Avoiding double-digit losses.
Brandon Allen started at QB for the Bengals. If this didn't tell you how seriously they took this game, nothing will.
And the Browns are probably a playoff team if they started Case Keenum for the bulk of the season.
Browns 21, Bengals 16
New Orleans Saints @ Atlanta Falcons
Green Bay Packers @ Detroit Lions
Chicago Bears @ Minnesota Vikings
Washington Football Team @ New York Giants
Normally, I’d try and come with something to say about these games, even if it was just “meh.”
But at this point in time, I absolutely do not give a fuck about any of these games and I defy anyone reading this to tell me why I should.
Saints 30, Falcons 20
Lions 37, Packers 30
Vikings 31, Bears 17
WTF 22, Giants 7
Los Angeles Chargers @ Las Vegas Raiders
The 2021 regular season couldn’t end on a better note for fans or the league: A win or go-home scenario involving the last playoff slots, one with the promise of absolute mayhem (if the teams tied)
And The Battle of the Wrong Cities turned out to be a good ol’ fashioned AFL game, with both teams trading blows, right up through overtime. There, with time running out and the score tied at 32, it looked like the fever dream scenario might come to pass: The Raiders were methodically running rush after rush like the clock wasn’t ticking down on them. it looked like they were actually playing for the “We both get in” tie (as the entire city of Pittsburgh started gearing up for a cross-country mob violence spree) But it was just the Raiders playing slow-and-steady, against a Chargers defense that was gassed and couldn’t stop them from gaining five here and ten there. Just enough to get them into field goal range with no time left.
Though the time management wasn’t needed at that point: Since both teams had a possession (and a score), sudden death was in effect.
Daniel Carlson boots his second FG of overtime and fourth of the game. Raiders win, Steelers qualify, Chargers are left to wonder what might have been (again).
Though I am convinced that, had Al Davis still been around, they let time run out, just to screw with the league.
Raiders 35, Chargers 32 (OT)
And with that, the playoff picture is finalized and the 2021 regular season comes to an end. As does this year’s Week in Review. I was gonna include a Tall Glass of STFU to Antonio Brown for his week of whining, but that clown has already gotten more attention than he’s worth.
See you in September!
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