#NFL2021 - Week 9
Welcome to the Week in Review. You have questions, we have snark!
(TNF) New York Jets @ Indianapolis Colts
Can Mike White follow up on his red-hot first start, or does he simply become one of the NFL's many MANY one-hit wonders? (7/11 for 95 and a score, before going out with a forearm injury in the first).
Does Good Carson Wentz or Bad Wentz show up this week? (Good: 272 and 3)
The question should've been "Will The Jets' Defense Show Up?" (The answer is "no.")
Wentz, Johnathan Taylor (19-172 w/2 TDs, long of 78) and Nyheim Hines (6-74, 1 TD) did what they wanted to the J-E-T-S (You Guys Suck).
Wasn't Robert Saleh hired as HC to stop this sort of thing from happening?
Another question could've been "Why did they bother trading for Joe Flacco?" Journeyman QB Josh "And you were surprised about Trevor Simien" Johnson came in in relief and threw for 317 and 3, but the bulk of that damage was in the fourth. Johnson likely gets the start if White and Zach Wilson are still out.
And also: FAT! GUY! TOUCHDOWN!
TOUCHDOWN DANNY PINTER!!
— Indianapolis Colts (@Colts) November 5, 2021
📺 FOX/NFLN/Prime pic.twitter.com/24OxNtZBUJ
Jets 30, Colts 45
Minnesota Vikings @ Baltimore Ravens
The seat is getting hotter and the ticking clock is getting louder. Can Mike Zimmer (and Captain YOULIKETHAT) turn the ship around?
THis game says “No.”
The Vikings were up by two scores twice in the game. Still lost.
They picked of RB8 twice - including what should’ve been a back-breaker on the first possession of OT. Still Lost.
They gave up 247 yards rushing. Cousins only had 187 yards passing, with no TDs. Yeah, they lost.
At this point, I would be stunned if Cousins, Zimmer and GM Rick Spielman return in 2022.
Ravens 34, Vikings 31 (OT)
New England Patriots @ Carolina Panthers
New England is looking like the team Pats Nation (and likely Darth Hoodie himself) thought they would. Just took them half the season to get their legs.
The Panthers, on the other hand, continue to show their September performance was a fluke and this collection of sad sacks is the real Carolina. Run CMC finally returned and did not help at all. (104 scrimmage yards, no TDs). Sam Darnold continues his death spiral (6/33 for 172, 0 TDs, 3 INTs, including a Pick 6).
Well, at least Stephon Gilmore showed out in his first game vs. his old team, right? Not that it helped: 1 INT, 2 tackles, 1 pass defensed.
At this point in his career, best case scenario for Darnold would seem to be “Jim Plunkett in San Francisco” - he’s one step away from finding his true home. More likely, he’s looking like David Carr (a promising young arm who had bad habits beaten into him).
Fun Fact: NE's de facto WR1, Jakobi Meyers, has set the record for most receiving yards gained without scoring a touchdown, with 1,522 over 2.5 seasons. The former record holder was Gerald Riggs with 1516 yards. As most of you no doubt noted, Gerald Riggs was a running back.
Patriots 24, Panthers 6
Cleveland Browns @ Cincinnati Bengals
Earlier in the week, the Browns and Odell Beckham Jr finally ended their failed marriage. This looked like a marriage made in heaven: The Browns needed a WR1 for their shiny new He-Might-Not-Suck-This-Time QB, Baker Mayfield. OBJ was looking to play for a team that would actually treat him like a star (Which the Giants would not).
It just did not work.
In his three seasons with the Factory of Sadness, OBJ put up 1586 yards on 114 catches, with 7 TDs. Those are the kind of numbers Cleveland was looking for in his first season. He and Mayfield seemed to never get on the same page, never got a connection. Even when OBJ’s college teammate, Jarvis Landry, came on board as WR2, things never seemed to get easier or smoother. Very reminiscent of Dez Bryant and Dak Prescott, to my eye.
As I write this, he has yet to clear waivers or be claimed (4 PM EST deadline). Bafflingly, word is out that Seattle is his team of choice. But why? He’d be WR2 at best in Seattle. Don’t give me that crap about OBJ’s ability. That shit all but vanished in Cleveland and, as of right now, he IS NOT a better receiver than DK Metcalf. I’d argue he’s not that much better than Tyler Lockett. There were far better fits for him out there is what I’m saying: From playoff contenders (Saints, Patriots), to young teams who could use a true WR1 (WFT, Eagles). If he’s not signed by someone come Wednesday morning, I’d be shocked.
So naturally, in their first post-OBJ game, the Browns go out and maul the division leading Bengals.
They used a combination of Nick Chubb (137 and 2) and suffocating defense to knock the Bengals into their second-straight loss. Joe Burrow, the toast of the town just a month ago, looked even worse this week, throwing no TDs and 2 INTs (including a Denzel Ward 99-yard Pick 6).
It was a good old fashioned woodshedding that told the league A) The Browns aren’t dead yet and B) The Bengals are not ready for prime time. With these two losses, the Bengals went from the #1 seed in the AFC to the bottom of the AFC North.
“Life comes at you fast” indeed.
Browns 41, Bengals 16
Denver Broncos @ Dallas Cowboys
Sometimes you just take an opponent for granted and they jump up and bite you.
Everything said “Dallas was going to maul this team.” Denver has one of the worst pass attacks in the league. They just traded the face of the franchise, Von Miller. Dallas was getting a healthy Dak back.
Maybe they take this game a bit more seriously if Cooper Rush had started?
Or maybe it wouldn’t have helped either way. The Broncos bullied Dallas on both lines: They used 191 yards from Javonte Williams and Melvin Gordon to eat up clock, and what time the ‘Boys did have was spent with Prescott under fire. When Dak wasn’t misfiring on passes, his normally reliable receivers were dropping them. Zeke Elliot had 10 carries for 51 yards, but was basically neutralized by the scoreboard and spent most of the second half in pass protect duty.
The win for the Broncos keeps them in contention in the AFC West and probably cools the seat for Vic Fangio a lot. For Dallas, as I’ve said before, sometimes you just have to eat the L and move on.
Broncos 30, Cowboys 16
Buffalo Bills @ Jacksonville Jaguars
Take everything I just said above, and assume a worse opponent for and a worse performance by Dallas. That was this game.
If you just go by the box score, the Bills weren’t great by any stretch, but should’ve been more than enough for the sadsack Jags. What happened here?
Yeah, that might do it.
Just shove this one in the “We Do Not Talk About” file and move along, Bills.
Jaguars 9, Bills 6
Houston Texans @ Miami Dolphins
Tyrod Taylor returned from his latest medically-mandated vacation and was back in meh-season form: 24/43 for 240 yards, with 3INTs. And ABSOLUTELY NO HELP FROM THE GROUND GAME. AGAIN¹ (15 for 50, split between 4 backs)
Jacoby Brissett, a last second start due to Tua’s last second scratch, wasn’t much better (26/43 for 244yd, 1td, 2ints)
Did we mention the score for the second half would be 3-0 Texans?
Yecch... Moving on.
Dolphins 17, Texans 9
In case you were all wondering, David “Totally Worth Nuk Hopkins” Johnson’s career stats with Houston so far: 180 carries for 810 yards, 6 TDs (none this year).
Atlanta Falcons @ New Orleans Saints
So who else didn’t realize the Falcons were only a game below .500 coming into Sunday? So them clipping the Saints doesn’t come off as quite the shocker that it did at first blush.
Calvin Ridley being safely on the “DNP - Trying To Get His Head Right” list probably helped with the Falcons’ offensive stability.
The Saints put up a furious rally to take the lead late, but their defense gave up a 64-yard throw to Cordarrelle Patterson on the very next drive, setting up the Dirty Birds’ game-winning kick.
Trevor Siemian was solid down the stretch (25/41 for 249 and 2 for the game). The reunited Alvin Kamara and Mark Ingram combined 93 and a score on 22 carries. But the lack WR1 still keeps the offense stuck in second gear. And the defense kind of sucks, regardless, so...
Falcons 27, Saints 25
Las Vegas Raiders @ New York Giants
Let’s get this out of the way: Henry Ruggs deserves all the time they can give him. Fuck him, fuck anybody who looks like him and fuck anybody who wants to stand up for him¹. I hope he never sees the outside world again, let alone the inside of an NFL locker room.
*deep breath in*
*deep breath out*
Now then...
How the fuck do you lose the Giants? How do you outgain them by 50% (403-245), limit Danny Derp² to 110 yards and STILL LOSE?
Yeah... That’ll do it.
And as I wrote this: Word came down that the Raiders’ other 2020 first rounder, CB Damon Arnette, was waived in the wake of police cam footage showing Arnette threatening several people with several guns and yelling like a madman.
Raiders 16, Giants 23
I realize that Ruggs will need support, now and in the future. And I will probably feel much different a couple of weeks from now. But right now? Fuck everybody.
$1 to UrinatingTree.
Los Angeles Chargers @ Philadelphia Eagles
People keep trying to anoint the The Rams’ little brothers as the next big thing and Justin Herbert as the Next Great QB.
And then they keep struggling with the likes of the Eagles.
Philly basically said “Fuck It” to trying to throw the ball and threw everything into the ground attack. And it almost worked. In addition to Dollar Tree Vick’s usual antics (10-62), Jordan Howard led the team (17-71, 1 TD). Herbert threw for 356 and 2 and it almost wasn’t enough. Hurts threw for 156 and 1, with the bulk of that going to Devonta Smith (5-116, 1TD)
It will be interesting to see what happens when the Iggles get a WR2 they actually trust.
Chargers 27, Eagles 24
Green Bay Packers @ Kansas City Chiefs
Feels good to have already been aboard the “Fuck Aaron Rodgers” train, long before it was the cool trip to take.
Others have gone in (and will likely continue to go in) on how irresponsible and arrogant Rodgers was. About how unnecessary the lie was. About how “YES THAT WAS ACTUALLY A LIE, MR. CLINTON.” About how the Packers had to be complicit in Rodgers’ tresspasses.
I will simply say this: The NFL has to know that if they don’t come down hard on Rodgers and the Packers, they’re going to face a tsunami of shit from other teams and players who have abided by the league’s (intentionally draconian) COVID policy, right? Were I The Ginger Hammer, there’s no way I didn’t spend a big chunk of this weekend discussing what can be done with Demaurice Smith.
And sending discrete word to Cole Beasley and Kirk Cousins’ people, telling them they’ll deal with this so please no lawyers.
Jordan Love would’ve made this so much easier by balling out.
He did not. (19/34 for 190, 1TD, 1INT)
I am reluctant to say the Packers absolutely would’ve won had Discount Double Check not been out. For one thing, there’s no way the Chiefs play defense the same way with Rodgers under center. For another, don’t think Love is responsible for the two missed FG (one blocked). For still another, it’s not like Green Bay has been bulletproof this year (Rodgers has been held under 200 yards three times for one).
And lost in the sauce of “JORDAN LOVE SUCKS FOREVER!” was the fact that Love still outplayed Patrick Mahomes for most of the game. (20/37 for 166, 1TD).
Chiefs 13, Packers 7
Arizona Cardinals @ San Francisco 49ers
Welp, the Niners officially suck. And I feel bad for everyone not named “Shanahan” for it.
They got rolled by a Cardinal squad without Good Value Mike Vick, Nuk Hopkins AND AJ Green. They got rolled by Colt “I survived being a starting Browns QB” McCoy!
I don’t doubt the coaching staff doesn’t think Trey Lance is ready to shoulder the load down the stretch. But frankly, if Lance isn’t ready, Jimmy G isn’t able. When he isn’t hurt, he’s maddeningly inconsistent. (28 of 40/326/2/1). With the expanded playoffs, a Wild Card berth is still well within SF’s grasp. But does ANYONE think they get there with Garappalo?
Didn’t think so.
Cardinals 31, 49ers 17
(SNF) Tennessee Titans @ Los Angeles Rams
No King Henry, no problem, right?
Well...
Without the league’s rushing leader/MVP front runner¹, the Titan’s rush attack was anemic.
(26 for 69 as a team, but with 2 TDs). Ryan Tannehill was arguably worse (19/27 for 143, 1 and 1). So naturally, the defense stepped up, sacking Matt Stafford 5 times and picking him off twice (including a Kevin Byard Pick 6).
Not a good look for a presumptive top seed in the NFC.
Lost in the sauce was the returning (to the NFL) Adrian Peterson, who rushed 10 times for 21 yards and a score. The TD was Peterson’s 125th, making him the 11th player to reach that milestone. All ten players ahead of him on that list are in the Hall of Fame. Not that All Day needs more qualifiers...
Titans 28, Rams 16
Don’t @ Me.
(MNF) Chicago Bears @ Pittsburgh Steelers
This was a horrible boring game. I personally tapped out in the fourth quarter, when the Steelers recovered a fumbled kickoff, giving them the ball on the Bears’ 42, up 23-13.
Apparently, things got nuts the moment I stopped watching.
Pittsburgh went three-and-out on the subsequent possession, and the Bears and Steelers proceeded to trade TDs (Bears) for FGs (Steelers), with Pittsburgh re-taking the lead late and the Bears missing a desperation 65-yd attempt as time expired.
I’ve heard the Yinzers bitching about some sort of Ref Ball down the stretch. Don’t know about that. But I do know that if you need to play keep away/clock management with Justin Fields, you have far greater problems as a team than bad penalty calls.
Steelers 29, Bears 27
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