#NFL2021 - Week 3
(Thursday Night) Panthers 24, Texans 3
With Tyrod "If It Weren't For Bad Luck..." Taylor out, and Deshaun "Will SOMEONE make a decision already" Watson still Persona No Grata., the start fell to rookie Davis Mills¹. While he didn't shit the bed or anything (19 of 28, 168yds, 1 TD, rating of 95.5), he wasn't reminding anyone of He Who Must Not Be Named. He actually acquitted himself well against a defense that straight up embarrassed the two previous QBs they played. But I'm not sure how much of that was him and how much was Houston's ultra-vanilla playcalling, seeming designed not to win, but to limit how badly they got beat.
Also not helping was the Texans' inability to run the ball and unwillingness to force the issue. Mark Ingram, David Johnson and Philip Lindsey combined for 37 yards on 15 carries. You'd think you'd WANT to run the ball, both to help out your young signal caller and to slow down a Panthers offense the defense was clearly no match for - even without Run CMC (who went down in the second quarter, ably replaced by Chubba Hubbard² (11-52, 3-27 receiving).
Real talk: If the Texans could find a running game, they could be actually respectable. Not good, mind you. But respectable.
FYI: Newly-acquired WR Anthony Miller (#GoTigersGo) made his Texans debut, having sat out the first two games with a shoulder injury. He had 4 catches for 20 yards, including Houston's lone TD.
- The eighth QB taken in the draft.³
- Hell of a name, by the name.
- Fun fact: There were five QBs taken in the first round, and five more in the entire rest of the draft.
Ex-Skins 21, Bills 43
The WTF defense stands at a crossroads. This game would seem to be the start of a Boss Rush of elite QBs. Including this game, Washington faces Josh Allen, Matt Ryan, Patrick Mahomes, Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady in the next seven weeks. Meaning they need to get their shit together, because Tyler Heinike probably isn't going to be able to out-duel any of them, at this moment.¹
Exhibit A: This game.
Only a 75-yd Antonio Gibson catch and run TD and a friggin' impossible recovery on the subsequent kickoff, the Ex-Skins probably get shut out. Washington has given up nearly 1300 yards of offense in three games, including 489 in this one.
That's not gonna win you many games there, chief.
- I'm not sure he could outduel Rapey McCrablegs or Teddy Ballgame, who are also within this stretch.
Bears 6, Browns 26
The Justin Fields era begins to day. Maybe Matt Nagy will get it right this time. Or will he continue on his trajectory to becoming the next Adam Gaze. As this article suggests, his play calling last year and so far this year suggests he's more concerned with being blamed for his QBs' poor play and the subsequent Bears' losses than actually losing.
This game is not going to change that perception.
Fields debuted with a wet fart: 6-20 for 68 yards. He was also sacked 9 times for 67 yards, resulting in a net passing total of ONE YARD. Huh... Maybe there was a reason Matt Nagy kept starting Andy Dalton?
Ravens 19, Lions 17
Dear Baltimore;
You needed a league-record 66-yard FG (with a lucky bounce) from Justin Tucker to beat the friggin' Lions.
Cardinals 31, Jaguars 19
And welcome to Week 3 of "Will This Loss Kill Urban Meyer?"
The Jags come into this game having given up 619 yards and four passing touchdowns, with no takeaways in their first two games. To Tyrod Taylor and Teddy Bridgewater. And here comes a red hot Kyler Murray. Could the Jags keep this from getting ugly?
They did. For two-and-a-half
The Jags, for one half, were opportunist and scrappy, taking a 13-7 haltime lead on 109-yard "kick six" return by Jamal Agnew on the last play of the first half. Then the Cards scored on an intercepted flea flicker attempt and basically sat on the young Jags
First overall pick Trevor "THE FUTURE" Lawrence's (22-34, 219 yds, 1 TD, 2 INTs) baptism by fire continues: He's on pace for 40 INTs on the season. The rookie record is 28 (Peyton Manning, 1998). The overall record is 42 by George Blanda in 1962 (remember: They only played 14 games in those days)
Chargers 30, Chiefs 24
For the second week in a row, the Chefs' potential winning drive gets sank by an ill-timed turnover (Pat Mahomes INT turns into the Chargers' winning TD)
For the first week in forever, San Diego LA pulled out a close game, including a gutsy 4th-and-9 call on that final drive¹. Justin Herbert continues to play like a seasoned vet (26-38, 281 4 TDs)
And Andy Reid locked up and fell out
For most teams, this would just be a couple of bad beats vs. two strong teams. I'm betting Chiefs Nations sees this as Panic Time.
- Which would've been called the dumb play of the year, had the Chiefs stopped them.
Saints 28, Patriots 13
This is the longest stretch of bad QB play in Darth Hoodie's tenure as Pats HC. A season with a clearly COVID-addled am Newton, and now rookie Mac Jones doing rookie things (30/51, 270, 1 TD, 3 INTs).
Asking your rookie QB to throw it 50 times says one of two things: He's dealing out there or your running game is horrible. New England as a team had 49 yards on 17 carries.
And was it just me, or did it seem like Sean Payton just excise deep shots from teh playbook after Winston's implosion last week? (McCrablegs threw 2 TDs and no turnovers, but 128 yards on 13/21 passin)
Falcons 17, Giants 14
And Cowboys Nation laughs as one.
Bengals 24, Steelers 10
'Steeler Nation will probably blame this one on the lack of TJ Watt.
The less charitable among us will simply say "BENCH BEN ROTHLISBERGER."
ALL of us will talk more about the Yinzer Fail than about the Bengals stepping up and picking up a big road divisional win.
Colts 16, Titans 25
Speaking of bad QB moves: The Colts seem to have gone all in on Carson Wentz recapturing his Eagles magic with his old OC, Frank Reich.
They seem to have made no contingency plans in case Wentz A) got hurt, B) sucked, C) both.
It's like Peyton Manning never left.
Or Andrew Luck.
Jets 0, Broncos 26
At this point, the Jets and Jags are competing to see who the true worst team in the NFL is.
They play each other in Week 16. That might be each team's best shot at a win, at this rate.
Dolphins 28, Raiders 31 (OT)
What does it say about a team when they play what's arguably their best game of the year A) in a loss and B) with the backup QB?
It says to me "There needs to be a long talk about Tua Tangyvanilla when he comes off IR." Jacoby Brissett doesn't have Tua's potential, it's true. But he also has a much higher floor. A floor the Colts probably wish they hung on to, at this point.
Meanwhile, the Vegas¹ Raiders are currently on top of the AFC West. While the Chiefs are currently last.
- That feels as eternally wrong as those ugly ass modern Broncos unis.
Buccaneers 24, Rams 34
It seems as though the Rams were as tired of hearing about the Bucs being the class of the NFC as I was.
The new(ish) look Rams never trailed as they took down the visiting World Champs. Tom Brady had 432 yards through the air, but only one TD. And he was also the Bucs' leading ground gainer. With 14 yards.¹
Bear in mind, the Rams did this without RB1 Cam Akers AND RB2 Darrell Henderson.
And Matt Stafford stands as a sign of what might have been, if Barry Sanders and Calvin Johnson hadn't been so disgusted by the Lions' treatment of them that they quit football, rather than demanding a trade.
- Silver lining: Brady became the oldest player to be his team's top ground gainer in a game
Seahawks 17, Vikings 30
Not saying it's panic time, Seahawk nation... But for the second week in a row, your opponent went down the field on you at will in the second half. And this time they didn't even have their best player, with Dalvin Cook out with an injury.
Pete Carroll does know he doesn't the Legion of Boom anymore, right?
...Right?
And for all the shit he takes (some fair, some not), Kirk Cousins is chugging along at an All-Pro pace so far (323 and 2 today, 918 and 8 for the season)
(Sunday Night) Packers 30, Niners 28
Full disclosure: I tapped out on this one around halftime. A combination of Cheesehead domination and bad reception (Xfinity Streaming kept cutting out and the NBC Sports site wouldn't even let me try to log in)
Apparently I missed a banger down the stretch. And I also missed the Niners commit a major gaffe: Snapping the ball on their final play with the clock running and 11 seconds still on the play clock. With Aaron "I could do this in my sleep at this point" Rodgers just needing to get into FG range. I'm not saying he couldn't have done in 26 seconds, had the Niners let the clock run down...But 37 was more than enough time. And Jimmy G and the Niner coaching staff should have known it.
Though anything that makes Kyle Shanahan look like a tool, I'm here for.
(Monday Night) Eagles 21, Cowboys 41
Wasn't even that close, folks.
The Eagles got a Dak Prescott fumble in the end zone in the first quarter. That was pretty much the last time they were in the game. The press was all over Dak's continued excellence (21/26 for 238, 3 TDs) But the real story was four-fold:
- Zeke Elliott and Tony Pollard continue to be a lethal 1-2 punch, going for a combined 155 and 2 scores I can't recall the Eagles stopping them for negative yardage even once.
- Dalton Schultz having a career night: 6 for 80 with 2 scores.
- Micah Parsons is a terrifying beast of a man. At times it seemed like there were three of him out there.
- The Eagle offense is trash. If Jalen "Good Value Mike Vick" Hurts can't get it done with his legs, it ain't getting done. And the Eagles coaches seem to know this. Hurts only handed the ball off to a back THREE TIMES. And not until the fourth quarter. That wouldn't be a plan for success if in-his-prime Vick were under center.
But that's what I want to see out of what's supposed to be a good team: Taking an inferior team, putting your foot on their neck and not letting up until the final gun sounds. Nice way to finish the first home game of the season.
Things went so well, I almost forgot about them blowing the replay call and taking a TD away from Dak.
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