#NFL 2020 - Week 17

Welcome to the season finale of the Week in Review, where the Phrase That Pays is “Oh, so that’s who our backup is!”

As is season-ending tradition here at the WIR, each recap will include a blurb as to the job status of each team's head coach. They’ll be scored on a 1-5 scale:

 

1. Completely Safe
2. Safe, but with questions
3. 50/50
4. Probably gone
5. Clean Out Your Desk

 

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Falcons 27, Bucs 44

• Stakes coming in: Bucs Win The NFC South w/win and Saints loss. Get the #5 seed (@NFC East winner) otherwise. Falcons lock down the #3 draft pick with a loss, caould fall as far as 7 with a win.

This seemed more like a warning to next week’s opponent than anything else. This felt even worse than the Falcons’ 43-6 loss to the Raiders a few weeks ago, as if felt like Brady and the Bucs could’ve hung 70 on them, had they really wanted. Yes, I know they pulled away in the fourth. I stand by my statement.


The Bucs have the look of a team that could make a Super Bowl run or lose by 20 in the Wild Card game, with equal plausibility.

• Raheem Morris - 5: It would’ve taken a complete 180 to let Morris keep this job. Morris’ Dirty Birds did nothing to move the needle.
• Bruce Arians - 2: They’re a playoff team and darkhorse SB contender, but they’ve dropped a few this year that makes people question if Arians is truly the one to take them back to the promised land. (Because NONE of this can be laid at the feet of Tom Brady, of course)

Cowboys 19, Giants 23

• Stakes: For both teams: A win, plus an FC Washington loss means they win the NFC East (and then get to be mauled by Tampa). A win will also knock both teams out of the top 10 for the draft.

This was a game that displayed both teams’ weaknesses rather than their strengths: Dallas’ patchwork o-line unable to generate enough punch to cash in in the red zone (resulting in settling for field goals) and a defensive line unable to stop an opponent ready and willing to grind it out on the ground. And the there’s the Giants’ lack of offensive punch leaving them relatively unable to take advantage of the breaks the defense gives them.


The result here was basically every time Dallas looked like they were about to take command, Giants DE Leonard Williams (7 tackles, 3 sacks, 5 QB hits) would run Dallas’ day with a big play, culminating in Williams forcing Andy Dalton into a bad pass that was picked off by Xavier McKinney’s game-icing INT.


And with that, the sad, question-filled season of the Dallas Cowboys comes to an end and good riddance.   I suspect they'll be much better with a healthy Dak, Tyron and La'el.  Doesn't make me any more confident in McCarthy, frankly.

And then the Giants settle in to root on the Eagles on Sunday Night.  And probably feeling icky for it.

• Mike McCarthy - 2: The wave of injuries probably insulated McCarthy for at least this season. The late season surge helped. Next season, with a (hopefully) healthy roster will tell the tale. Especially if OC Kellen Moore jumps ship for his alma mater, Boise State. (UPDATE: Moore was signed to a three-year extension. Questionable decision considering...)
• Joe Judge - 1: He’s McCarthy with even more cause for optimism. People will be watching to see what he can do with a healthy Saquon Barkley and another playmaker or two via the draft of free agency.

Jets - Don't Care,  Patriots  - Can't Make Me

This is here strictly for the coaching blurb

• Adam Gase - 4: He’s a 5 with a more-competently run team. Of course, a more-competently run team doesn’t hire him to begin with. Not that soon after his debacle in Miami. (UPDATE: He gone)
• Bill Belichick - 1: Though another year like this ticks him up a level.

Vikings 37, Lions 35

• Stakes: None. Both teams are out of the playoffs and are looking at top 10 draft picks with a loss and mid-round picks with a win.

For their season finale, the Vikes and the Lions decided to pretend they were AFL teams and say "Damn the torpedos, full speed ahead!"  Not that either team is sporting a stellar defense at the moment, but they usually try.

Of more interest to me are some of the records set:

 

• The Lions set franchise worsts for yards and points given up by their defense (519 points and 6,716 yards).  Let me remind you that this is a franchise with an 0-16 season on their resume.
• Justin Jefferson (somehow still considered WR2) broke Anquan Bouldin's rookie receiving record with 1,379 yards.  But for some reason, the talking heads were more impressed that Jefferson broke the Viking rookie record, held by Randy Moss.
  

 

• Mike Zimmer - 3: I's say it's probably the end of the road for Zimmer.  It might come down to the post-season meetings between Zimmer and the front office.
  
• Darrell Bevell - 5: Like Raheem Morris, nothing Bevel did as interim coach warrants removing the “interim” tag.

Steelers 23, Browns 24

• Stakes: PIT comes in as the #3 seed. Could claim #2 with a win and a Bills loss. Browns make the playoff with a win, a Colts loss to JAX, Titans loss + Dolphins win/tie and Ravens win/tie.

Bruh... You guys almost lost to Mason F’ing Rudolph. I know you’re still the Browns and #BronwsGonnaBrown but come the hell on!

• Mike Tomlin - 2: This would’ve been a 3, had they not pulled out of their tailspin and made the playoffs. Still, another year like this might be one too many.
• Kevin Stefanski - 2: Would be a 1 without the Jets loss.:

Ravens 38, Bengals 3

• Stakes: Ravens make the wild card with a win or a Browns or Colts loss. Cincinnati won’t drop below Pick #7, win or lose.

The Ravens rushed for 404 yards on Sunday, setting a team record and becoming the fourth team since 1950 to reach that level.   J.K. Dobbins led the way with 160 yards and 2TDs on 13 carries.  Lamar Jackson and Gus Edwards added 97 and 60, respectively.

 

 RB#8's 113 passing yards and 3 TDs were basically an afterthought there.  And so were the Bungles, who fade into the offseason with the consolation prize of the #5 draft pick.

• John Harbaugh - 2: A disappointing 2020 brings him down a notch. A repeat of this in 2021 may jump him straight to a 4.
• Zac Taylor - 2: The team had to put out at least one "He gone" fire.  Two straight double-digit loss seasons will do that, extenuating circumstances or not.
  

Dolphins 26, Bills 56

• Stakes: Bills claim the #2 seed with a win, drop to #4 will a loss. Miami claims a wild card slot with a win, or with a Browns, Colts or Ravens loss.

If there is a case of a team coming up smaller in a win-and-in scenario, I can't recall it.

 

Without the backstop of the Amish Rifle (DNP - Human Malware), when Tua Tangyvanilla went through his customary downturn, there was no way for the Fins to answer the Bills' onslaught.  

 

As little as five years ago, this wouldn't be THAT big a deal, disappointment aside.  It was assumed, unless you were a Ryan Leaf-level disaster¹², a first-round QB got at least three seasons to shape up or ship out.  Now, if a rookie QB doesn't draw comparisons to Russell Wilson or Tom Brady, it's 50/50 as to whether or not they were going to get the Josh Rosen treatment.  

Not that Tua should be looking over his shoulder.  But the times being the way they are, someone in the Miami organization is going to take a good look at Zach Wilson or Trey Lance (under the guise of "due dilligance," of course).³

• Brian Flores - 1: QB shenanigans aside, the Fins were a pleasant surprise. Which only raises expectations for Flores and Tangyvanilla.
• Sean McDermott - 1: It looks like McDermott is building the team to beat in the AFC East, if not the AFC itself.

 

1. Or were drafted by the Browns.
2.  And even Leaf got two years and his attitude did more to grease the rails than his play. 
3. Imagine what would happen to someone like Terry Bradshaw.  or Troy Aikman, if they played their rookie years under today's standards?

 

Seahawks 26, Robert Salehs 23

• Stakes: Seattle wins the NFC West and the #3 with a win. They could claim the #2 seed with a win + a Saints loss. Niners draft somewhere in the teens, win or lose.

The Northwestern Titans¹ managed to hang on and beat a game, spoiler-eager Niners team.  Mr. Ciara hit Tyler "Don't forget DK Metcalf is still WR2 here" Lockett for two fourth quarter TDs to rally past the Niners.

 

Speaking of Metcalf, he finished with 1,307 yards receiving, breaking the franchise record held by Steve Largent.   Lockett also set a team record with 100 catches. #congrats.

• Pete Carroll - 2: That Super Bowl run seems further and further away.
• Kyle Shanahan - 1: Though that seems to be more thanks to Robert Saleh and the defense than any of his supposed offensive genius.

1. Or are the Titans the Southeastern Seahawks?
   

Cardinals 7, Rams 18

• Stakes: Both teams make the Wild Card with a win. They both make the playoffs with a tie and Bears loss. (Rams also make it with a Bears tie)

John Wolford is a name you've probably never heard before this week and might not hear again.  But if it's the latter, he made the most of his first NFL start, throwing for 231 yards and overcoming an INT on his very first pass.  The Rams defense took up the slack from there, scoring a safety and an 84-yard Pick Six by Troy Hill.

Kyler Murray sat out most of the game with an ankle injury.  Larry Fizgerald also sat out with an injured groin.  There's strong feelings that we've seen the last of Fitzgerald, who's in his 17th season (all with ARI). 

The Cardinals' loss meant that Chicago backsed their way into the final playoff slot.  So yay?

• Kliff Kingsbury - 2: The Cardinals were either unstoppable or utterly shut down this season. More of the same could mean the hook for both Kingsbury and (possibly) Kyler Murray.
• Sean McVay - 2: The “genius” label continues to fade.

Jaguars 14, Colts 28

• Stakes: Jags are locked into the #1 pick. Colts win the AFC South with a win and Titans loss. They make the Wild Card with a win + Ravens, Browns or Dolphins loss.

Johnathan Taylor ran for a franchise record 253 yards as the Colts completed step one of their Make The Playoffs plan.  Miami's loss got them the rest of the way in.  More on if they could score the AFC South title later.

FYI: The only other Colts RB to run for more than 200 yds in a game is Edgerrin James, who did it twice in 2000, including the previous team record 219 yds vs. Seattle.

• Doug Marrone - 4: Would be a 5, but this is the same org that hired Tom Coughlin twice. (Update:  He gone!)
  
• Frank Reich - 1: Next year is when the pressure is on.

Titans 41, Texans 38

• Stakes: Titans win the AFC South with a win or a Colts loss. They still make the wild card with a Ravens or Dolphins loss. The Texans are locked into giving up the #3 pick to the Dolphins.

The titans locked down the AFC South and a home playoff game with a road win vs. the lowly Texans.  A win that included (and necessetated) Derrick Henry going off again for 250 yards,  and a last-second, off-the-upright-nothin'-but-net field goal.  A field goal that was set up by a the-entire-defense-needs-to-be-cut 52-yard bomb to AJ Brown.

 

 

Henry finished with a franchise record 2,027 yards for the season, making him the eighth player and second Titan to top the 2K mark.  He's also the first player to lead the league in rushing in back-to-back season since Ladanian Tomlinson in 2006 and 2007.

Fun Fact: Henry is the tenth player in the Modern Era to win consecutive rushing titles.  The other nine¹ are all in the Hall-of-Fame.  Just sayin'.

• Mike Vrabel - 2: Too many questionable losses for a 1.
• Romeo Crenell - 3: It would not shock me, one way or the other, if this is Romeo Crenell’s last game as an NFL coach. He’s already the oldest HC in league history and he was never in the best physical condition, even as a younger man. Living out his remaining years in a far less stressful environment sounds like a plan to me.

1. Jim Brown², Leroy Kelly, OJ Simpson, Earl Campbell, Eric Dickerson, Emmitt Smith, Barry Sanders, Edgerrin James, and Tomlinson.
2. Brown won five straight from 1957 to 1961, lost to Jim Taylor of Green Bay in 1962, then won the next three before retiring in 1965.
   

Raiders 32, Broncos 31

• Stakes: Draft position and the bitter taste of What Might Have Been.

A disappointing season for both teams comes to a close, with the Raiders gagging on several chances to lock down a playoff berth and Drew Lock looking like yet another Elway QB misfire.

 

The Raiders needed a last-minute TD and 2-pt conversion, plus a block of the Broncos' last-second 63-yd field goal attempt to escape with their ninth win of the season and the consolation prize of a winning season.

Still feeling good about that 10-year contract for Chucky, Raider Nation?

Hell, the most interesting thing to come out of this game was the news that John Elway was getting kicked upstairs to the position of Team President¹ and that the team has started the search for a new GM.  This was a long overdue move.  Elway was the architect of Denver's last Super Bowl teams.  But the bloom has long fallen from that rose, with the failure to bring in a long-term solution for QB being the main reason for that.  Perhaps a pair of fresh eyes² can help bring things around.  Hell, there's still a chance a new GM might think Drew Lock is worth one more season.  Should be interesting, either way.

• Jon Gruden - 2: That 10-year contract looks less like an investment and more like an albatross with every passing day.
• Vic Fangio - 2: Would’ve been a 3 if the team didn’t already announce he’d be back.

1. Read: The guy in charger until the inheritance lawsuits between Pat Bowlen's heirs get sorted.
2. Eyes that don't keep looking for themselves in QB prospects...
   

Chargers 38, Chiefs 21

• Stakes: None. The Chiefs are the #1 seed in the AFC. The Chargers draft in the upper teens with a loss, lower teens with a win.

Justin Herbert locked down Offensive Rookie of The Year with a 302 yard, 3 TD performance.  A performance dampened somewhat by the clear fact that the Chiefs were only there because they had to be and were far more concerned with not getting anyone important hurt than beating the Chargers.

 

Herbert finished the season with 4,336 yards, 39 yards short of Andrew Luck's rookie record. Don't forget:  Tyrod Taylor was the Week 1 starter and would've started at least Week 2 if the Charger trainers were more careful with a syringe.

By sitting out the game, Patrick Mahomes ceded the passing title to Deshaun Watson  (4,823 to 4,740)

• Anthony Lynn - 3: This is the team (and the ownership) who fired Marty Schottenheimer after a 12-win season, but followed that up by letting Norv Turner and Mike McCoy both hang on at least two seasons too long. (UPDATE: He gone!)
  
• Andy Reid - 1: It would take back to back losing seasons to get him to 2 at this point.

Packers 35, Bears 16

• Stakes: Packers lock down the #1 seed and the bye with a win or tie or if Seattle loses to or ties SF. Bears claim a wild card slot with a win, a Cardinals loss or if they and the Cards tie.

Discount Double Check locked down the MVP award for himself and the #1 seed for his team with a 4 TD performance vs. the overmatched Bears.  The Bears  backed into the playoffs anyway, due to Arizona's loss.  Their reward for this "accomplishment?"  Getting fed to the Saints on the road.

Bears Nation can only hope the Saints maul them bad enough that Matt Nagy gets the Schottenheimer treatment.

• Matt LeFleur - 1: They’re the nominal NFC favorites and Aaron Rodgers likes him. ‘Nuff said.
• Matt Nagy - 3: A decent showing in the playoffs might enough to save his job. If they get romped, he might right back on the hot seat.
  

Saints 33, Panthers 7

• Stakes: Saints win, they claim the NFC South and the #2 seed. A loss gives them the #5 and a road game vs. the NFC East winner. Carolina’s just playing out the string.

...And they played like it.

When you get beat this badly by a team missing their two best offensive players and ALL the backups for one of them, it’s because you didn’t fucking care and were just there so you didn’t get fined.


Ty Montgomery (who has experience in this just this sort of situation) took the bulk of snaps at RB, putting in a pretty good 105 yards on 18 carries.

Whether or not this was Teddy Bridgewater's last game as a Panther really depends on if the team is willing to eat the rest of his contract.  Either way, you can count on a new starter in 2021.

• Sean Payton - 1: As long as QB#9 is there, he’ll be there.
• Matt Rhule - 1: His players seem to love him and play hard no matter what. Let’s see what he can do with a healthy CMC.

Alex Smiths 20, Eagles 14

• Stakes: The Not!Skins win, they win the NFC East. The Eagles win, the Giants claim the crown (And they get the #6 draft pick. Washington gets the #10 with a loss). And the likely honor to get boatraced by the Bucs. Yay!

It all came down to the fourth quarter: The Eagles were down by three coming into the final quarter. And promptly benched Jalen Hurts to bring in third stringer Nate Sudfeld.

As if the Eagles were telling the Football Team: “What part of “WE ARE TRYING TO LET YOU WIN” do you not understand?” They left Hurts in even as he went 7-20 for 72 yards and an INT. But they were still only down three as they made the switch. And the fact that they went to Sudfeld, not Carson Wentz, pretty much says it all. And we won’t even talk about how Sudfeld was even worse than Hurts (5/12 for 32, 1 INT)


Last week, I remarked elsewhere that I couldn’t really feel good about the Cowboys having a shot at the league title, not when the Eagles could screw us by literally not trying. Didn’t think they’d take that concept so literally. Giants Nation, having been the ones who actually got said rogering, were justifiably salty about it. The Eagles said that Sudfeld’s insertion was the plan all along, so y’all can stop with the “tanking” talking.

“Bullshit,” sez I.


If you were going to let Hurts have some run but pull him no matter what, why not put Sudfeld in at halftime? It’s like you were trying to waif for the Fucksnyders to pull ahead far enough to justify a switch, but they refused to play along. This was a tank job from a team that didnt’ think they’d have to do all the work in tanking.


You can bet that Doug Peterson and the Eagles’ brass will be tapdancing in front of the Dear Leader and co. on Monday.

• Ron Rivera - 1: This team is far better than it had any right to be (this game notwithstanding). The fact that he pulled this off while undergoing cancer treatment is a score multiplier.
• Doug Peterson - 2: Dragging his feet on the QB switch cast him in an even dimmer light.