#NFL 2020 - Week 15

Welcome to the Week in Review.  RIP Kevin Greene.

(TNF) Chargers 30, Raiders 27 (OT)

Let’s get this out of the way off the bat: No, Raider Nation. You can quit with the “We’ve have won if we had Derek Carr. for the whole game.”


One: Listen to yourself there.

Two: Name one thing Marcus “Forgot I was here, didn’t you?” Mariota did wrong that Derek Carr absolutely would not have done. I’ll wait.

Three: Last I checked, Mariota doesn’t play defense.


Bottom line: You let an inferior team com into your stadium and beat you. Even as it gave you opportunity after opportunity to take the win, as LAC is wont to do (two missed FGs in a game that went to overtime loom large). And you let Justin Herbert set the rookie TD Pass record on you (again: In your home stadium).


TL;DR: Take everything I said about the Raiders last week and add 1.

(Saturday) Bills 48, Broncos 19

Buffalo staked their claim to be the Team To Beat in the AFC with an emphatic beating of Denver, in Denver.


They would be wrong about that, of course. But they’re a rock solid #2, especially with the Steelers on the skids.


Denver’s injury and COVID-ravaged defense stood no chance against Josh Allen¹. And the Drew Lock-ravaged offense stood no chance of matching the Buffalo offense. They were officially eliminated from the playoffs last week. This just shovels dirt on their graves. Back to the lab again, Mr. Elway!


Fun Fact: Denver's emergency conscript kicker, Taylor Russolino, has had stints in the XFL2.0, the CFL and the Arena League. The Chinese Arena League.


Yeah, that’s a thing. And has been since 2012.






Low key; he should be getting more MVP love. He’s not overtaking Discount Double Check or Pat Mahomes, but he should at least be in the conversation.

(Saturday) Panthers 16, Packers 24

This game was closer than it had any real reason to be. Maybe the Pack are trying to spend just enough energy to maintain the #1 seed?


But the real story here is the slow, steady decline of Teddy Ballgame and the Panthers, losers of eight of their last nine. Bridgewater’s game has deteriorated since his shootout with Patrick Mahomes in Week 10. And the fourth quarter failures had started before that game. And without a healthy CMC and DJ Moore being dinged up when’s actually active, they don’t have any playmakers for Bridgewater to lean on in crunch time.


Gonna be another wild offseason for QBs.



Quick Question: Was this a Color Rush game, or did the Broncos decide this was “OH GOD MY EYES” Day?

Niners 33, Cowboys 41

Much like with Daniel Jones, I don’t want to say that Zeke Elliot’s absence was the reason for the Cowboys’ offense spark. But it’s not a coincidence that when they finally give Tony Pollard a starter’s workload, they had their biggest offensive output since Dak Prescott was active. Personally, I’d sit Zeke for the rest of season. He clearly hasn’t been right since coming off the COVID board, and throwing him out there to struggle does no one any good. Especially since Pollard has shown he can handle the load. Deactivate him and bring him back fresh for 2021.


Yeah, the defense got lit up again, but if the offense can even keep up a semblance of this performance, they’ll finish 2020 strong.


And speaking of “finish 2020 strong”, Dallas is STILL in play for the NFC East. If they win out and Washington drops their final two (Washington has the head-to-head tiebreaker), they win the conference at 7-9. And 7-9 with that defense is praiseworthy.


Of course, every silver lining has a dark cloud: The Boys’ two-game win streak has pushed them from #5 in the draft order to #9. Suddenly, they’re in a place where getting their choice of DB is no longer guaranteed. And if SOMEHOW, they do make the playoffs, that draft slot goes to #19 with a one-and-done. Is it worth it, Jerruh?


And Tall Glass of STFU (A Double) to everyone griping about CeeDee Lamb scooping up San Fran’s onside kick attempt and rolling 46 yards for the score. “He should’ve just fallen on it,” they say. “So many things could’ve gone wrong” they say.

I say “Eat a dick with that loser mentality”. Lamb took an opportunity to make a big play and did it to perfection. How about you praise the kid for doing something awesome and not try and drag him down for not doing the by-the-book “right” thing? And YES, I include Mike McCarthy and the coaching staff in that as well.

Seahawks 20, No Names 15

Y’all realize that if Alex Smith was healthy, you probably lose this game, right Seattle?


But congrats to Carlos Dunlap and Jamal Adams, who get their first cracks at the postseason since 2015 and ever, respectively.


And with FC Washington’s loss, it is assured that the NFL East’s winner survivor will not have a winning record. (Washington will be 8-8 if they win out)

Bears, 33 Vikings 27

It is looking for all the world like if the Bears had stuck with Mitch Trubisky all along, they’d be in the thick of the playoff race, rather than outside looking in.


David Montgomery (32-145, 2 TDs) being back from the dead helps. As does Kirk Cousins having a Bridgewater-like downward slide.

But it shouldn’t be enough to save Matt Nagy’s job. But the Bears have pulled that kind of WTFery before.

Patriots 12, Dolphins 22

Did you hear? The Patriots are going to miss the playoffs for the first time since 2008! You’d think they’d be making a bigger deal about that!


My question is: Is this the end of the line for Cam Newton?  Like Zeke Elliot, I think his woes this season have more to do with Human Malware taking a chunk out of him than him legit losing a step. But I’m not an NFL GM. If Newton isn’t willing to take a backup role somewhere, I think this legit could be it for him. We shall see.

Jaguars 14, Ravens 40

Now THAT is how you tank, folks!

Bucs 31, Falcons 27

Another day, another Falcons choke job.


This latest gag session, in which Atlanta had a 24-7 lead midway through the third quarter, probably cost Raheem Morris any chance he had at keeping the head coaching job.

This one had the added novelty of having Antonio Brown scoring the winning TD, his first TD catch since Week 1 of last year. Which was also thrown by Tom Brady.

Lions 25, Titans 46

Ryan Tannehill avenged his Pro Bowl snub upon the hapless Lions, throwing for 273 and 3 and adding another two scores on the ground.


With the win, Southeastern Seattle clinches the AFC South and a home playoff game.


Speaking of QBs in pain: Why are the Lions running Matt Stafford out there? He’s clearly hurting (ribs) and the team has little chance of making a playoff run. Let him finish 2020 (and possibly his Lions tenure) inactive and unbruised.

Texans 20, Colts 27

Frank Reich couldn’t stop gushing about Marmalard’s performance vs. Houston (22-28/228/2)


Who do you think you’re fooling, Frank? One - It’s the Texans, so slow your roll. Two - you’re talking like he put up double those stats. Three - we all know you’re gonna dump Rivers the moment Carson Wentz is made available.


#FreeDeshauWatson

Eagles 26, Cardinals 33

The Sooner Shootout goes to Kyler Murray, throwing for 406 and 3 TDs in the win. Nuk¹ Hopkins chipped in with 159 and a TD on 9 catches. Jalen Hurts (Murray’s successor at Oklahoma²) countered with 338 and 3.


The win gives Arizona a tighter grip on the final wild card spot³. The loss knocks Philly into the NFC basement... But STILL in play for the NFL East title. Yeesh.

1. Whom I am just recently learning was “Nuk”, not “Nuke”. And his name has nothing to do with bombs or explosions: He’s had the name since he was a toddler with a habit of chewing through Nuk-brand pacifiers.
2. You’d think more would’ve been made out of that.
3. Assuming they leave the number of playoff slots at 7 per conference.

Chiefs 32, Saints 29

I’ve heard it argued that you’d need to bring Drew Brees back as fast as possible, so he could shake off any rust and get back into a groove in time for the playoffs.


This game showed that this might be the necessary move.


Brees was 15/34 for 234 yards, 3 TDs and a pick and showed some serious rust: He was 0-6 to start the game and the Saints went 3-and-out on their first four possessions.


The Saints played defense mostly to stop Patrick Mahomes (26 for 47/254/3). The Chiefs responded by running the ball 41 times for 179 yards. Losing Clyde Edwards-Helaire to a late leg injury. So that might hurt their attack going forward if he misses any real time.

Better hope Le’Veon Bell can return to form to take up the slack.

(SNF) Browns 20, Giants 7

The Giants this week, in a nutshell.




(Seriously, what in the name of Pop Warner was that?)..

(MNF) Steelers 17, Bengals 27

Remember a month ago, when Pittsburgh was 11-0 for the first time in franchise history? The Super Bowl talk was hot and heavy. And the offense looked a bit iffy, no doubt the defense could hold it down until the offense worked out the kinks.

And the Football Gods promptly smote Steeler Nation for their arrogance with a home loss to the No Names.


And then again with a loss at Buffalo. Though that was less “god smiting” and more “whooped by a better team.”


And then we come to this game. No Joe Burrow. No Joe Mixon. An AJ Green who’s a shadow of his former self. They scored 17 points off Steeler turnovers and made thade that hold up against Pitt’s comeback attempt. This may be the ugliest stretch of Steeler football since the last days of Chuck Noll. Big Ben isn’t as young as he used to be, and the weight of carrying the offense seems to be wearing him down.


But mostly, the gods are displeased by JuJu Smith-Schuster’s frankly obnoxious TikTok vids of him dancing on the midfield logo on road games. Remember the last two times he’s done that were here and Washington. Not everyone believes in “karma” or “bulletin board material,” sure. But still,someone on the Steeler coaching staff needs to take that young man aside and tell him to cut that shit out.