2020 #NFL Week in Review – Week 12
Welcome to the Week in Review. Have some turkey!
It looked like the Lions might be bouncing back from last week’s disaster in Charlotte.
And then they had their second possession. One play, J.J. Watt Pick Six.
And their third: Fumble, Texans score three plays later.
And their fourth. Fumble. Houston fumbles it right back and Detroit drives for a TD. They don’t score again until six minutes left in the fourth.
Are we seriously going to trade Fratdouche Belichick for Romeo “Looks Older And In Worse Shape Every Time I See Him” Crennel (in the larger scope of things, that is)? Scuttebutt is that the Texans are already floating out that COVID is going to interfere with interviews. Because they live in a world where FaceTime and Zoom aren’t things that exist, apparently.
If someone can tell me what Romeo Crennel brings to the table in 2020 that wasn’t there in any of his other HC stints, I’m listening.
And late Saturday, the first half of this prediction came to pass, with the firing of Matt Patricia and GM Bob Quinn.
I’ll leave deep dives on this (way overdue) move to others. I will simply say this: When Jim Caldwell was fired, he had a better record than the guy he replaced (Jim Schwarts) and the guy who replaced him (Patricia) and had more winning seasons (3) than both of them put together (1). Granted, that was a different Ford who fucked over Caldwell. Sheila Ford Hamp might prove to be the one that finally breaks the chains of failure - for both the Lions and female owners.¹
UPDATE: And, of course, as I’m in the midst of this recap, Will Fuller, fresh off his best game as a pro, gets slapped with a 6-game PED suspension.
I want to cut Mike McCarthy some slack, give him the benefit of the doubt. I really do. Injuries have turned the o-line into something the Bengals would laugh at and have generally played hell with any efforts to put out a consistent game plan.
But then he¹ does things like call a 10-yard hitch route on a 4th-and-inches. A call made more egregious when he calls a QB sneak in the same scenario a few minutes later. A call that converts the first down.
Then there’s this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Svo2VC8ZxQ
Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.
And they were still in the game until the fourth, until the defense ran out of gas and the wheels fell off. This is the kind of thing that happens when you keep settling for FGs in the red zone. When you’re running defensive schemes from the 1990s
I’d say we need a younger coach to come in, but the last hire like that was Clappy the Clown.
And I’d usually give kudos of varying length and sincerity here. But “Fuck Dan Snyder” is still in effect, so on to the Sunday games.
Every day Adam Gase and Gregg Williams are still employed by the New York Jets...
You know what? Rather than repeat myself week after week, from here until Gase gets the boot, I will simply not list Jets games. Let Gang Green be shunned until they come to their senses.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRB8Jor8tPs
The more I see and hear about Kyler Murray, the more I think “Mike Vick: Atlanta Flavor”: If you can keep him from beating you with his legs, he’s not going to beat you. Not that he got much help from his skill positions. This was exemplified by a possession right before halftime. 1st & Goal at the Pats 10. Shotgun draw to Kenyan Drake for 2 yards, Christian Kirk drop, KeeSean Johnson TD catch - reversed on review to down at the 1. Shotgun draw to Drake, no gain. Turnover on downs,. Halftime. No points.
It didn’t get better for the Cards.
Not that Cam Newton outplayed him. In fact he was worse (9/18 for 84 yards).
The Patriots didn’t so much win this game but simply outlasted the Cards on a bad day for both teams. Moving on.
Who knew the story of this game would be Chad “Son of Don” Bebee’s goat-to-hero story? He muffed a punt deep in Viking territory, though the defense managed to hold the Panthers to a FG and a six-point lead. On the very next possession, Beebe caught the game winner.
Beebe’s catch capped off a wild game that saw (among other things) Carolina S Jeremy Chinn score fumble recovery TDs on back-to-back offensive plays and Joey “He’s going to hit that 70 yarder one of these times” Slye badly hook¹ a 54-yard game winning attempt.
Lost in the sauce is the fact that Kirk Cousins had his second comeback win of the season. He had two such games in his career, prior to this season. By 2020 logic, this obviously means he needs to be cut and replaced with a first-rounder.
With this win, the Browns guarantee their first non-losing season since 2007. Which, coincidentally, was the last (and only) time The Browns 2.0 made the playoffs. They’ll probably need three of the next five to lock in a playoff slot. But the that that’s even on the table shows how far Kevin Stefanski and Andrew Berry have brought this team in a very short time.
(Shame they’re not gonna get much further than “the playoffs” with Baker Mayfield, though...)
With this loss¹, the Jags decided to fire GM David Caldwell.
I look forward to seeing who Jacksonville will bring in to ruin Trevor Lawrence or Justin Fields.
People keep talking about how awesome the Colts defense is, especially with a healthy Darius Leonard.
Every time I’ve actually watched the Colts, they end up getting waxed like this.
And every time I even look at the Colts stats, I have the same question: Why is Philip Rivers still the QB?
If the Chiefs didn’t exist, Tennessee would be the team to beat in the AFC (possibly the league). #HenryForMVP
Can a team be considered to be “surging” at 4-7? That’s where the Giants are at this moment. Yeah, they struggled to beat a Burrow-less Bengal team, but they also did it with Colt “Forgot about me, didn’t you?” McCoy at QB. Even then, the Bengals had a shot, a chance that was snuffed out when Brandon Allen was sacked and fumbled with under a minute left.
The Giants kept pace with the Alex Smiths with the win, but will be hard pressed to keep the win streak going if Daniel Jones has to miss significant time.
And you thought the Giants were done doing Giants things this year?
I tried, Anthony. I had your back. But it’s time for you to go. I thought clock management fail this bad died with Andy Reid left Philly! Can’t keep having your back when your teams seemingly create ways to lose ball games.
Maybe you’ll get a second chance, having learned from the first. More likely you’ll catch on with someone else’s staff as a position coach. But yeah, time to move on.
Though part of me wishes you’d stay because Dean Spanos doesn’t deserve nice things.
Dear Raider Nation;
You can’t claim to be a contender, then get mollywhopped by the gorram Falcons. EOM.
Dear Rams Nation;
You can’t claim to be a contender, then get beat at home by what’s left of the Niners. EOM.
Welp...
Of course, the story of Kendall Hinton being pressed into service after the entire Denver QB roster derped themselves into the COVID protocols is an interesting one. Might have gone better if he had literally any time to prepare. Still, 1-of-9 for 13 yards and 2 INTs isn’t a bad statline, under the circumstances.
Still wondering why the Broncos didn’t do what Carolina did back in 2006 running the ball out of the Wildcat for most of the game, only throwing 7 passes.¹
Still, it helped take the spotlight away from Taysom Tebow.’s less than stellar stats vs. a real defense (9-of-16, 78 yards, INT). #FreeJameis
Also, I’m not saying Hill is to blame for Alvin Kamara’s stats going to shit in both of Hill’s starts...
And while we’re here, Tall Glass of STFU to Trader Jerruh himself, for his “he probably thought it was funny” quip about how the Broncos QB situation was similar to the ‘Boys having Ben DiNucci under center. No, really.
Pretty cheap (and mean, really) shot to take at one of your own players, IMNSHO.
Another game, another game deciding INT from the so-called GOAT¹
It’s almost like Tom Brady is old, his skills are diminishing and the playcalling isn’t being adjusted to compensate.
Of course, even Peak Brady would’ve had problems keeping up with Mahomes and The Cheetah playing pitch and catch all day. Seriously, 200+ yards receiving in one quarter should get someone cut/fired.
I fully admit I turned this game off after Preston Smith’s scoop-and-score.
This was boilerplate Current Bears vs. Packers: Discount Double Check doing whatever the hell he wanted, the Bears offense sputtering at best, hamstrung by the ongoing utter lack of a ground game.
And just to add a bit of insult to injury:
https://twitter.com/ESPNNFL/status/1333262686050607104
There were two narratives that dominated coming out of this game
On a “What actually matters in the standings” level, Philly lost the half-game lead in the NFC East they’ve had since the end of September. Washington and New York are both a half-game ahead of them and looking like far stronger teams going forward.¹ With Carson Wentz looking less competent with every subsequent start, it might be a tall order for the Eagles to stay above Dallas in the division.
As far as the Seahawks go, I’ll take them over the Saints - with a healthy Drew Brees, wonky defense and all.
Well that was certainly worth the wait. /s
Let’s break this down checkpoint style:
Thanksgiving Noon: Texans 41, Mufasas 25
It looked like the Lions might be bouncing back from last week’s disaster in Charlotte.
And then they had their second possession. One play, J.J. Watt Pick Six.
And their third: Fumble, Texans score three plays later.
And their fourth. Fumble. Houston fumbles it right back and Detroit drives for a TD. They don’t score again until six minutes left in the fourth.
Are we seriously going to trade Fratdouche Belichick for Romeo “Looks Older And In Worse Shape Every Time I See Him” Crennel (in the larger scope of things, that is)? Scuttebutt is that the Texans are already floating out that COVID is going to interfere with interviews. Because they live in a world where FaceTime and Zoom aren’t things that exist, apparently.
If someone can tell me what Romeo Crennel brings to the table in 2020 that wasn’t there in any of his other HC stints, I’m listening.
And late Saturday, the first half of this prediction came to pass, with the firing of Matt Patricia and GM Bob Quinn.
I’ll leave deep dives on this (way overdue) move to others. I will simply say this: When Jim Caldwell was fired, he had a better record than the guy he replaced (Jim Schwarts) and the guy who replaced him (Patricia) and had more winning seasons (3) than both of them put together (1). Granted, that was a different Ford who fucked over Caldwell. Sheila Ford Hamp might prove to be the one that finally breaks the chains of failure - for both the Lions and female owners.¹
UPDATE: And, of course, as I’m in the midst of this recap, Will Fuller, fresh off his best game as a pro, gets slapped with a 6-game PED suspension.
Though Kim Pegula of the Bills might have a head start on the latter part there.
Tanksgiving: Alex Smiths 41, Cowboys 14
I want to cut Mike McCarthy some slack, give him the benefit of the doubt. I really do. Injuries have turned the o-line into something the Bengals would laugh at and have generally played hell with any efforts to put out a consistent game plan.
But then he¹ does things like call a 10-yard hitch route on a 4th-and-inches. A call made more egregious when he calls a QB sneak in the same scenario a few minutes later. A call that converts the first down.
Then there’s this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Svo2VC8ZxQ
Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.
And they were still in the game until the fourth, until the defense ran out of gas and the wheels fell off. This is the kind of thing that happens when you keep settling for FGs in the red zone. When you’re running defensive schemes from the 1990s
I’d say we need a younger coach to come in, but the last hire like that was Clappy the Clown.
And I’d usually give kudos of varying length and sincerity here. But “Fuck Dan Snyder” is still in effect, so on to the Sunday games.
Or Kellen Moore. Hard to tell these days.
Dolphins 20, Jets 3
Every day Adam Gase and Gregg Williams are still employed by the New York Jets...
You know what? Rather than repeat myself week after week, from here until Gase gets the boot, I will simply not list Jets games. Let Gang Green be shunned until they come to their senses.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRB8Jor8tPs
Cardinals 17, Patriots 20
The more I see and hear about Kyler Murray, the more I think “Mike Vick: Atlanta Flavor”: If you can keep him from beating you with his legs, he’s not going to beat you. Not that he got much help from his skill positions. This was exemplified by a possession right before halftime. 1st & Goal at the Pats 10. Shotgun draw to Kenyan Drake for 2 yards, Christian Kirk drop, KeeSean Johnson TD catch - reversed on review to down at the 1. Shotgun draw to Drake, no gain. Turnover on downs,. Halftime. No points.
It didn’t get better for the Cards.
Not that Cam Newton outplayed him. In fact he was worse (9/18 for 84 yards).
The Patriots didn’t so much win this game but simply outlasted the Cards on a bad day for both teams. Moving on.
Panthers 27, Vikings 28
Who knew the story of this game would be Chad “Son of Don” Bebee’s goat-to-hero story? He muffed a punt deep in Viking territory, though the defense managed to hold the Panthers to a FG and a six-point lead. On the very next possession, Beebe caught the game winner.
Beebe’s catch capped off a wild game that saw (among other things) Carolina S Jeremy Chinn score fumble recovery TDs on back-to-back offensive plays and Joey “He’s going to hit that 70 yarder one of these times” Slye badly hook¹ a 54-yard game winning attempt.
Lost in the sauce is the fact that Kirk Cousins had his second comeback win of the season. He had two such games in his career, prior to this season. By 2020 logic, this obviously means he needs to be cut and replaced with a first-rounder.
Or is it “slice?” I can never keep that straight.
Browns 27, Jaguars 25
With this win, the Browns guarantee their first non-losing season since 2007. Which, coincidentally, was the last (and only) time The Browns 2.0 made the playoffs. They’ll probably need three of the next five to lock in a playoff slot. But the that that’s even on the table shows how far Kevin Stefanski and Andrew Berry have brought this team in a very short time.
(Shame they’re not gonna get much further than “the playoffs” with Baker Mayfield, though...)
With this loss¹, the Jags decided to fire GM David Caldwell.
I look forward to seeing who Jacksonville will bring in to ruin Trevor Lawrence or Justin Fields.
#101 under Shad Khan!
Titans 45, Colts 26
People keep talking about how awesome the Colts defense is, especially with a healthy Darius Leonard.
Every time I’ve actually watched the Colts, they end up getting waxed like this.
And every time I even look at the Colts stats, I have the same question: Why is Philip Rivers still the QB?
If the Chiefs didn’t exist, Tennessee would be the team to beat in the AFC (possibly the league). #HenryForMVP
Giants 19, Bengals 17
Can a team be considered to be “surging” at 4-7? That’s where the Giants are at this moment. Yeah, they struggled to beat a Burrow-less Bengal team, but they also did it with Colt “Forgot about me, didn’t you?” McCoy at QB. Even then, the Bengals had a shot, a chance that was snuffed out when Brandon Allen was sacked and fumbled with under a minute left.
The Giants kept pace with the Alex Smiths with the win, but will be hard pressed to keep the win streak going if Daniel Jones has to miss significant time.
And you thought the Giants were done doing Giants things this year?
Chargers 17, Bills 27
I tried, Anthony. I had your back. But it’s time for you to go. I thought clock management fail this bad died with Andy Reid left Philly! Can’t keep having your back when your teams seemingly create ways to lose ball games.
Maybe you’ll get a second chance, having learned from the first. More likely you’ll catch on with someone else’s staff as a position coach. But yeah, time to move on.
Though part of me wishes you’d stay because Dean Spanos doesn’t deserve nice things.
Raiders 6, Falcons 43
Dear Raider Nation;
You can’t claim to be a contender, then get mollywhopped by the gorram Falcons. EOM.
Niners 23, Rams 20
Dear Rams Nation;
You can’t claim to be a contender, then get beat at home by what’s left of the Niners. EOM.
Saints 31, Broncos 3
Welp...
Of course, the story of Kendall Hinton being pressed into service after the entire Denver QB roster derped themselves into the COVID protocols is an interesting one. Might have gone better if he had literally any time to prepare. Still, 1-of-9 for 13 yards and 2 INTs isn’t a bad statline, under the circumstances.
Still wondering why the Broncos didn’t do what Carolina did back in 2006 running the ball out of the Wildcat for most of the game, only throwing 7 passes.¹
Still, it helped take the spotlight away from Taysom Tebow.’s less than stellar stats vs. a real defense (9-of-16, 78 yards, INT). #FreeJameis
Also, I’m not saying Hill is to blame for Alvin Kamara’s stats going to shit in both of Hill’s starts...
And they were only down to backup Chris Weinke
And while we’re here, Tall Glass of STFU to Trader Jerruh himself, for his “he probably thought it was funny” quip about how the Broncos QB situation was similar to the ‘Boys having Ben DiNucci under center. No, really.
“I don’t know that Denver had any more of a challenge than we’ve had with [Ben] DiNucci or with the young quarterbacks that we’ve had,” Jones said. “And, by the way, two or three of those [Broncos] quarterbacks will be back from the [COVID/Reserve list].”
Pretty cheap (and mean, really) shot to take at one of your own players, IMNSHO.
Chiefs 27, Bucs 24
Another game, another game deciding INT from the so-called GOAT¹
It’s almost like Tom Brady is old, his skills are diminishing and the playcalling isn’t being adjusted to compensate.
Of course, even Peak Brady would’ve had problems keeping up with Mahomes and The Cheetah playing pitch and catch all day. Seriously, 200+ yards receiving in one quarter should get someone cut/fired.
Still #TeamMontana
(SNF) Bears 25, Packers 41
I fully admit I turned this game off after Preston Smith’s scoop-and-score.
This was boilerplate Current Bears vs. Packers: Discount Double Check doing whatever the hell he wanted, the Bears offense sputtering at best, hamstrung by the ongoing utter lack of a ground game.
And just to add a bit of insult to injury:
https://twitter.com/ESPNNFL/status/1333262686050607104
(MNF) Seahawks 23, Eagles 17
There were two narratives that dominated coming out of this game
- For Some godforsaken reason, Eagles DC (And former Lions HC) Jim Schwartz approached Seahawks phenom WR DK Metcalf and told him, basically, “I knew Megatron. I coached Megatron. You are no Megatron.” I suppose he thought he could get into the young guy’s head and rattle him a bit.Um, no.Metcalf finished the game with 10 catches for 177 yards and basically did whatever the hell he wanted. But I suppose Schwartz “wins” because Calvin Johnson would’ve had at least one score when utterly schooling a hater. So Good Job, Coach?
- Philly scored a garbage time Hail Mary and 2pt conversion to push Seattle’s margin of victory to 6. At least one known bettor lost $500K on that conversion, because they had Seattle at 6.5. Plenty more lost lesser bets and just as many hit a Push, as they had Seattle at 6.The moral is “Never Gamble”, kids!
On a “What actually matters in the standings” level, Philly lost the half-game lead in the NFC East they’ve had since the end of September. Washington and New York are both a half-game ahead of them and looking like far stronger teams going forward.¹ With Carson Wentz looking less competent with every subsequent start, it might be a tall order for the Eagles to stay above Dallas in the division.
As far as the Seahawks go, I’ll take them over the Saints - with a healthy Drew Brees, wonky defense and all.
Naturally, this assumes Daniel Jones only misses one game for the Giants.
(Moved from Thanksgiving Night, [twice]) Ravens 14, Steelers 19
Well that was certainly worth the wait. /s
Let’s break this down checkpoint style:
- Whole lotta drops on both sides.
- Might be time for RGIII to hang it up. That he’s had a career at all after what the Shanahans allowed to happen to him is a minor miracle and a credit to him. But every time you looked up and thought “Hey, he’s still got it!” the very next play was like “Oh... Oh no...”
- A game like this is why no one takes an undefeated team like Pittsburgh that seriously. They had to seriously scrap and fight to beat a team without RB7, Mark Ingram and JK Dobbins and with a bunch of off-the-street TEs.
- I barely even noticed Collinsworth’s line about being amazed at how much girls knew about sports and stuff. I just thought “Are you gonna be amazed that they know about cars, next?” and moved along.The Internet, of course, did not.Can’t say he didn’t deserve it.
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