#NFL Week in Review – 2020 Week 2
Welcome to the Week in Review, where we didn’t stand for the National Anthem back when that was still just called “General Indifference.”
Odd that, looking at these two teams, it’s hard to tell which one is looking at a rebuilding/Break In the New QB year and which is in a make-or-break “Playoff or Tear It Down” sort of year.
Odder still, that despite being 0-2 and looking every bit a rookie at times, #1 Pick Joe Burrow is being treated as a current star, not a potential one. The guy hasn’t played a full month of NFL games and Bengal Nation is basically calling him the best Cincy QB since Boomer Esiason. Not saying that’s wrong or anything. But slow your roll, people. Let’s see him string together a couple of wins before preparing his spot in the Bengal Ring of Honor. Seriously, the way the sports world reacted, you’d have thought the Bengals won that game.
Also: You probably shouldn’t let your QB - rookie or vet - throw 61 passes too often.
Also also: Hey, Cleveland? When people are raving about the team you beat, not you, you might want to look at a few things. Like the fact that you had to scramble to beat said rebuilding team.
Yeah, I turned this game off right after Atlanta went up by 15. Why wouldn’t I? A turnover implosion put them in a 20-0 hole. The Dallas D’ hadn’t made a stop all day, outside of keeping Atlanta out of the endzone on two (out of FOUR) of those first quarter turnovers.. The much ballyhooed pass rush was MIA (again). Trayvon Diggs seemed to be the only defender interested in making plays. Even if Dak and co. can score, the defense will just let the Falcons answer, like they had all game.
I turned the game off, prepared to go to work, and pondered the real possibility of 0-3.
And then...
I don’t know if it was the Cowboys sacking up, the Falcons timing their once-a-game fuckery for the very worst moment or a “Column A/Column B” scenario. What I do know is that Dak put on his “Pay me , bitches” cape (450 yds and a TD, plus 3 rushing TDs) and carried the Cowboys to within three points. Helping in his efforts were
It wasn’t quite 28-3, but the fact that you have 28-3 on your resume to compare it to might make it worse. It completely wasted a four-TD effort from Matt “I’m the best ever Falcons QB pretty much by default” Ryan and a second-straight monster day from Calvin Ridley (7-109, 2 TDs)
But as a faithful (if occasionally frustrated AF) Cowboys fan, I will take this and run. But they¹ are going to need to do better than this to stand a chance against the Seahawks next week. And the Falcons will need to do better vs. Chicago. Dan Quinn will not survive 0-3. Not this time. Not after all this.
PS: You guys are just driving up Earl Thomas’ asking price. You know that, right?
PPS: The Falcons became the first team in NFL history to score at least 39 points with no turnovers and still lose. #AWinnerIsYou
PPPS: The announce team wondered out loud how the Cowboys could get more use out of Tony Pollard, as they already have Zeke Elliott gobbling up carries? Answer: GIVE TONY POLLARD MORE TOUCHES. It’s not like there aren’t examples of using two backs out there right now and in the recent past: NIck Chubb and Kareem Hunt, Melvin Gordon and Austin Eckler, Alvin Kamara and Mark Ingram. Seriously, what are the coaches there for, it it’s that hard for them to get use out of all their playmakers?
Could it be that Josh Allen is actually The One? Or more accurately “The One To Truly (FINALLY) Succeed Jim Kelly.” 2020 says “So far, so good.¹” 417 passing, 4 TDs, no INTs, no reckless scrambles, fewer “WTF was that” forced passes.
Amazing what a young QB can do with a proven veteran WR (Stefan Diggs, in this case) to lean on.²
Fitztragic and the Fish rallied late to make it interesting, but their hopes were dashed by a failed onside kick attempt.³
The Dolphins allowed about 13K fans in for their home opener. Apparently half the “crowd” were sporting Buffalo colors. That sounds about right.
The Niners threw parts like a Pacer with a dry crankcase: Jimmy G¹, Nick Bosa, Raheem Mostert - all missed major parts of this game. This in addition to the MASH unit they were coming into Week 2.
And they still bitch slapped the J-E-T-S God-You-Suck on the road.
This could legit be the first year multiple coaches get fired before midseason.
UPDATE: Bosa’s gone for the year.
Not sure who the talking heads are falling over themselves with awe and wonder more: Joe Burrow for not crapping himself with every throw, or Rapelisberger for not literally crapping himself with every pass?
Maybe, in this case, it’s because focusing on Big Ben throwing passes and not looking old lets them ignore having to fight and scrap to beat at Bronco team that played three quarters against Jeff Driskel (Drew “Elway Successor Number We Lost Count” Lock having been knocked out in the first). The Broncos also lost WR1 Courtland Sutton
FYI: Lock is out 3-5 weeks. Sutton is gone for the season. Have fun, Bronco Nation!
Kirk, buddy? I know you’re missing Stefon right about now... But you DO know you can throw to someone besides Adam Theilan, right? It might help.
But seriously, the Vikings’ passing attack and run defense were both pure ass. Something the aforementioned Diggs and similarly jettisoned Everson Griffin might have helped with.
Just saying.
If you go strictly by the box score, the Jags should’ve won this game comfortably. Then you note the two Jax turnovers - two INTs so badly timed you’d think they were scripted. One leading to a Titans TD and one killing the Jags’ final drive.
And Stephen Gostkowski bounced back from the worst game of his career to nail a second-straight game winner. (Though he did miss another XP, so...)
The Jags don’t have the roster - defense in particular - to overcome turnovers like that. But conservative, mistake-free ball isn’t what El Mustachio Magnifico does. And if that was what Jacksonville wanted, they’d have kept the previous administration.
Either the Rams are actually that good or the Eagles are that bad. My money’s on the latter.
This was the first time last year’s draft diamond-turned-doghouse resident Darrell Henderson got more than spot duty in the Rams’ backfield. He responded to this opportunity with 81 yards and a TD.¹
Not that it helped, but at least the Eagles, after last week’s turnstile impersonation, they kept Aaron Donald and co. off Carson Wentz.
And hey! It’s Jalen Hurts! Not that that helped either.
Not that we expected them to be contenders this year, but... The New York Giants are officially fucked.
And the “Fire Matt Patricia” clock goes “tick tick tick..”
Seriously... Anybody... Make the case for Matt Patricia. Show me one thing the Lions do well and do consistently.
No, “losing” doesn’t count here.
Not sure if I put too much faith in Teddy Bridgewater or put too much stock in the Bucs D getting carved up by Alvin Kamara and a half-speed Drew Brees in Week 1. Four forced turnovers, along with rebound performances from Tom Brady (217 yds, 1 TD, 80.3 rating) and Leonard Fournette (12-103, 2 TDs) were more than enough to handle the young Panthers.
Bridgewater had 367 yards passing, but also 2 INTs and a lost fumble. Christian McCaffery was held to 59 yards rushing before leaving in the fourth with an injury, but did score two TDs.
Last year’s big QB dice roll meets this year’s big QB dice roll and 2019 won. Kyler “Inspiring Teams to Bail On Their Young QBs For The Next Decade” Murray threw for 286 yards and a touchdown, and added two rushing TDs of 14 and 21 yards. Dwayne Haskins answered with 223 and 1 TD. But a 17-0 hole was too much for the young Team With No Name to climb out of. Especially with Cardinal D registering 8 QB hits and three sacks (one of the “strip” variety).
We’ll see what the young Cards are truly made of in Weeks 6 and 7, when they travel to Dallas and have Round 1 vs. Seattle, respectively.
Guess I’ll have to add Bill O’Brien to the “Race For The Pink Slip”
Show of hands: Who actually believes that Tyrod Taylor had a pre-game “chest injury?”
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Number 2 pick Justin Herbert acquitted himself well, for being thrust into the starting lineup “unexpectedly,” throwing for 311 yards and a TD and rushing for a second. He, and the Charger defense, had the defending champs on their heels for most of the game, until Harrison Buckler sent the game to OT, then hit the winning kick late into bonus time.
...Three times: Having a 53-yard winner nullified by a penalty, and the follow-up 58-yarder nullified by a Charger time-out. The third time finally stuck.
But despite Herbert seeming to provide a spark to the offense Taylor didn’t/couldn’t, Anthony Lynn has already announced Taylor is starting Week 3. I appreciate the loyalty, but damn man, read the room!
I hope some front office personnel are getting fired or demoted for passing on Cam Newton this offseason.
Newton continued his campaign to finish second in Comeback Player of The Year¹, getting turned loose to throw for 397 yards and a TD. And he almost led the Pats on an amazing comeback, getting stopped by Bobby Wagner on a QB draw on the last play of the game.
Newton was outdueled by Russell Wilson, who threw for 5 TDs on 21/28 passing (288 yards).
Going forward, the Pats could probably stand to get a little balance. Last week was all running, this was all passing. Maybe that’s the point? Finding Cam a target who isn’t Julien Edleman would probably help as well.
Late in the game: Raiders take a 10-pt lead (thanks largely to an iffy PI call), Saints get the ball with just over a minute left. Rather than try and go for a TD or simply concede and kneel, the Saints chose to eat the clock with throws over the middle. I’m sitting there wondering why the Saints, if they’re actually going to try and score, aren’t going deep or trying to hit quick sideline routes.
And then it hit me with a wave of sadness: “Oh, no... Payton isn’t calling those plays because he knows Brees can’t hit those throws.”
And without Michael Thomas, the offense came down to whatever magic Alvin Kamara could generate. That’s not going to win many games, not in a division with a steadily improving Bucs team and a Panther team that looks like it could eventually make some noise.
What if the unthinkable happens? What if Payton pulls the trigger and benches Breesus for Jameis Winston?
(Pre-emptive Tall Glass of STFU to Team Taysom: If the Saints thought as highly of Taysom Hill as you do, neither Rapey McCrablegs nor Teddy Bridgewater are ever Saints. Period)
All that drama served to overshadow both the fact that the Raiders put together a solid debut in the House of Kronke and that they’re 2-0. Even that small feat is far more than I gave credit for Chucky and his throwback ways for being able to achieve. Can’t say the AFC West is theirs for the taking, not with Kansas City there, but a Wild Card is well within the realm of possibility (as early as such a declaration might be).
Bungles 30, Browns 35
Odd that, looking at these two teams, it’s hard to tell which one is looking at a rebuilding/Break In the New QB year and which is in a make-or-break “Playoff or Tear It Down” sort of year.
Odder still, that despite being 0-2 and looking every bit a rookie at times, #1 Pick Joe Burrow is being treated as a current star, not a potential one. The guy hasn’t played a full month of NFL games and Bengal Nation is basically calling him the best Cincy QB since Boomer Esiason. Not saying that’s wrong or anything. But slow your roll, people. Let’s see him string together a couple of wins before preparing his spot in the Bengal Ring of Honor. Seriously, the way the sports world reacted, you’d have thought the Bengals won that game.
Also: You probably shouldn’t let your QB - rookie or vet - throw 61 passes too often.
Also also: Hey, Cleveland? When people are raving about the team you beat, not you, you might want to look at a few things. Like the fact that you had to scramble to beat said rebuilding team.
Falcons 39, Cowboys 40
Yeah, I turned this game off right after Atlanta went up by 15. Why wouldn’t I? A turnover implosion put them in a 20-0 hole. The Dallas D’ hadn’t made a stop all day, outside of keeping Atlanta out of the endzone on two (out of FOUR) of those first quarter turnovers.. The much ballyhooed pass rush was MIA (again). Trayvon Diggs seemed to be the only defender interested in making plays. Even if Dak and co. can score, the defense will just let the Falcons answer, like they had all game.
I turned the game off, prepared to go to work, and pondered the real possibility of 0-3.
And then...
I don’t know if it was the Cowboys sacking up, the Falcons timing their once-a-game fuckery for the very worst moment or a “Column A/Column B” scenario. What I do know is that Dak put on his “Pay me , bitches” cape (450 yds and a TD, plus 3 rushing TDs) and carried the Cowboys to within three points. Helping in his efforts were
- The defense FINALLY got three-and-outs on the Falcons offense.
- Legatron nailing the onside kick and later the 46-yard game winner.
- The falcons special teams treating the onside kick like they were in Inception and the ball was a token they were watching to see if it kept spinning.
It wasn’t quite 28-3, but the fact that you have 28-3 on your resume to compare it to might make it worse. It completely wasted a four-TD effort from Matt “I’m the best ever Falcons QB pretty much by default” Ryan and a second-straight monster day from Calvin Ridley (7-109, 2 TDs)
But as a faithful (if occasionally frustrated AF) Cowboys fan, I will take this and run. But they¹ are going to need to do better than this to stand a chance against the Seahawks next week. And the Falcons will need to do better vs. Chicago. Dan Quinn will not survive 0-3. Not this time. Not after all this.
PS: You guys are just driving up Earl Thomas’ asking price. You know that, right?
PPS: The Falcons became the first team in NFL history to score at least 39 points with no turnovers and still lose. #AWinnerIsYou
PPPS: The announce team wondered out loud how the Cowboys could get more use out of Tony Pollard, as they already have Zeke Elliott gobbling up carries? Answer: GIVE TONY POLLARD MORE TOUCHES. It’s not like there aren’t examples of using two backs out there right now and in the recent past: NIck Chubb and Kareem Hunt, Melvin Gordon and Austin Eckler, Alvin Kamara and Mark Ingram. Seriously, what are the coaches there for, it it’s that hard for them to get use out of all their playmakers?
And by “they”, I mean “the defense.”
I think the offense knows four turnovers in a quarter is “unacceptable”
Bills 31, Blowholes 28
Could it be that Josh Allen is actually The One? Or more accurately “The One To Truly (FINALLY) Succeed Jim Kelly.” 2020 says “So far, so good.¹” 417 passing, 4 TDs, no INTs, no reckless scrambles, fewer “WTF was that” forced passes.
Amazing what a young QB can do with a proven veteran WR (Stefan Diggs, in this case) to lean on.²
Fitztragic and the Fish rallied late to make it interesting, but their hopes were dashed by a failed onside kick attempt.³
The Dolphins allowed about 13K fans in for their home opener. Apparently half the “crowd” were sporting Buffalo colors. That sounds about right.
At least this year is saying that for somebody.
How dire has the Buffalo WR situation been these last few years? Diggs is the first Bills WR to log back-to-back 8+ catch games since 2011.
And the Countdown to Tua goes “tick tick tick.”
Niners 31, Jets 13
The Niners threw parts like a Pacer with a dry crankcase: Jimmy G¹, Nick Bosa, Raheem Mostert - all missed major parts of this game. This in addition to the MASH unit they were coming into Week 2.
And they still bitch slapped the J-E-T-S God-You-Suck on the road.
This could legit be the first year multiple coaches get fired before midseason.
UPDATE: Bosa’s gone for the year.
In case you were wondering, Jimmy G’s backup is Nick Mullens, 3rd year guy out of Southern Miss.
Broncos 21, Steelers 26
Not sure who the talking heads are falling over themselves with awe and wonder more: Joe Burrow for not crapping himself with every throw, or Rapelisberger for not literally crapping himself with every pass?
Maybe, in this case, it’s because focusing on Big Ben throwing passes and not looking old lets them ignore having to fight and scrap to beat at Bronco team that played three quarters against Jeff Driskel (Drew “Elway Successor Number We Lost Count” Lock having been knocked out in the first). The Broncos also lost WR1 Courtland Sutton
FYI: Lock is out 3-5 weeks. Sutton is gone for the season. Have fun, Bronco Nation!
Vikings 11, Colts 28
Kirk, buddy? I know you’re missing Stefon right about now... But you DO know you can throw to someone besides Adam Theilan, right? It might help.
But seriously, the Vikings’ passing attack and run defense were both pure ass. Something the aforementioned Diggs and similarly jettisoned Everson Griffin might have helped with.
Just saying.
Jaguars 30, Titans 33
If you go strictly by the box score, the Jags should’ve won this game comfortably. Then you note the two Jax turnovers - two INTs so badly timed you’d think they were scripted. One leading to a Titans TD and one killing the Jags’ final drive.
And Stephen Gostkowski bounced back from the worst game of his career to nail a second-straight game winner. (Though he did miss another XP, so...)
The Jags don’t have the roster - defense in particular - to overcome turnovers like that. But conservative, mistake-free ball isn’t what El Mustachio Magnifico does. And if that was what Jacksonville wanted, they’d have kept the previous administration.
Rams 37, Eagles 19
Either the Rams are actually that good or the Eagles are that bad. My money’s on the latter.
This was the first time last year’s draft diamond-turned-doghouse resident Darrell Henderson got more than spot duty in the Rams’ backfield. He responded to this opportunity with 81 yards and a TD.¹
Not that it helped, but at least the Eagles, after last week’s turnstile impersonation, they kept Aaron Donald and co. off Carson Wentz.
And hey! It’s Jalen Hurts! Not that that helped either.
Or 60% of the yards and 100%² of the TDs he gained from all of 2019.
Or whatever percentage 1 from 0 is.
Giants 13, Bears 17
Not that we expected them to be contenders this year, but... The New York Giants are officially fucked.
Lions 21, Aaron Jones 42
And the “Fire Matt Patricia” clock goes “tick tick tick..”
Seriously... Anybody... Make the case for Matt Patricia. Show me one thing the Lions do well and do consistently.
No, “losing” doesn’t count here.
Panthers 17, Bucs 31
Not sure if I put too much faith in Teddy Bridgewater or put too much stock in the Bucs D getting carved up by Alvin Kamara and a half-speed Drew Brees in Week 1. Four forced turnovers, along with rebound performances from Tom Brady (217 yds, 1 TD, 80.3 rating) and Leonard Fournette (12-103, 2 TDs) were more than enough to handle the young Panthers.
Bridgewater had 367 yards passing, but also 2 INTs and a lost fumble. Christian McCaffery was held to 59 yards rushing before leaving in the fourth with an injury, but did score two TDs.
F*cksnyders 15 , Cardinals 30
Last year’s big QB dice roll meets this year’s big QB dice roll and 2019 won. Kyler “Inspiring Teams to Bail On Their Young QBs For The Next Decade” Murray threw for 286 yards and a touchdown, and added two rushing TDs of 14 and 21 yards. Dwayne Haskins answered with 223 and 1 TD. But a 17-0 hole was too much for the young Team With No Name to climb out of. Especially with Cardinal D registering 8 QB hits and three sacks (one of the “strip” variety).
We’ll see what the young Cards are truly made of in Weeks 6 and 7, when they travel to Dallas and have Round 1 vs. Seattle, respectively.
Ravens 33, Texans 16
Guess I’ll have to add Bill O’Brien to the “Race For The Pink Slip”
Chefs 23, Chargers 20 (OT)
Show of hands: Who actually believes that Tyrod Taylor had a pre-game “chest injury?”
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Number 2 pick Justin Herbert acquitted himself well, for being thrust into the starting lineup “unexpectedly,” throwing for 311 yards and a TD and rushing for a second. He, and the Charger defense, had the defending champs on their heels for most of the game, until Harrison Buckler sent the game to OT, then hit the winning kick late into bonus time.
...Three times: Having a 53-yard winner nullified by a penalty, and the follow-up 58-yarder nullified by a Charger time-out. The third time finally stuck.
But despite Herbert seeming to provide a spark to the offense Taylor didn’t/couldn’t, Anthony Lynn has already announced Taylor is starting Week 3. I appreciate the loyalty, but damn man, read the room!
Patriots 30, Seahawks 35
I hope some front office personnel are getting fired or demoted for passing on Cam Newton this offseason.
Newton continued his campaign to finish second in Comeback Player of The Year¹, getting turned loose to throw for 397 yards and a TD. And he almost led the Pats on an amazing comeback, getting stopped by Bobby Wagner on a QB draw on the last play of the game.
Newton was outdueled by Russell Wilson, who threw for 5 TDs on 21/28 passing (288 yards).
Going forward, the Pats could probably stand to get a little balance. Last week was all running, this was all passing. Maybe that’s the point? Finding Cam a target who isn’t Julien Edleman would probably help as well.
We all know Alex Smith locked that trophy up just by making the Football Team’s active roster.
Saints 24, Raiders 34
Late in the game: Raiders take a 10-pt lead (thanks largely to an iffy PI call), Saints get the ball with just over a minute left. Rather than try and go for a TD or simply concede and kneel, the Saints chose to eat the clock with throws over the middle. I’m sitting there wondering why the Saints, if they’re actually going to try and score, aren’t going deep or trying to hit quick sideline routes.
And then it hit me with a wave of sadness: “Oh, no... Payton isn’t calling those plays because he knows Brees can’t hit those throws.”
And without Michael Thomas, the offense came down to whatever magic Alvin Kamara could generate. That’s not going to win many games, not in a division with a steadily improving Bucs team and a Panther team that looks like it could eventually make some noise.
What if the unthinkable happens? What if Payton pulls the trigger and benches Breesus for Jameis Winston?
(Pre-emptive Tall Glass of STFU to Team Taysom: If the Saints thought as highly of Taysom Hill as you do, neither Rapey McCrablegs nor Teddy Bridgewater are ever Saints. Period)
All that drama served to overshadow both the fact that the Raiders put together a solid debut in the House of Kronke and that they’re 2-0. Even that small feat is far more than I gave credit for Chucky and his throwback ways for being able to achieve. Can’t say the AFC West is theirs for the taking, not with Kansas City there, but a Wild Card is well within the realm of possibility (as early as such a declaration might be).
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