NFL Week in Review – Week 3 (2019)
Welcome to the Week in Review. Better late than never!
Let's start off with some omissions from last week:
The year's first Tall Glass of STFU to ESPN's Steve Young for being a hypocritical lickspittle. In addressing the (relative) rash of players demanding (and mostly getting) trades off bad teams, he had this to say:
https://twitter.com/espn/status/1173748621667373057
Okay, first: That is some "back in my day" bullshit.
It would still be BS if it didn't come from someone who availed himself of the very freedoms he's decrying here. Someone who avoided being drafted by a bad NFL team by signing with the USFL as an underclassman. Someone who arranged a private workout with Bill Walsh, while still under contract with Tampa. Someone who watched Joe Montana say "Get me out of here" and was granted his wish. Someone who watched his peer, John Elway, pull the ultimate power move for a player (at that time) and tell the Colts "I'm not coming. Don't draft me."
And even if all the above weren't true: Why is the NFL becoming more like the NBA a bad thing? What, exactly, is wrong with players having some agency in where they play (and for how much)? Why should Jalen Ramsey not be able to join a team where he doesn't despise his boss? Why shouldn't someone like Minka Fitzpatrick be able to say "This sucks, get me out" when his team decides to tank like no one has tanked before? Why shouldn't NFL players have some NBA-style stroke - other than the old and busted canard "That's not the way we do things?"
The NFL used to have a quota on how many black players a team was allowed to carry. The NFL used to send clearly brain-addled players back into the game with alarming regularity (alarming even before we really knew how bad things were). The NFL used to let defenders treat the QB like any other player. "The way we do things" changes depending on when and where you say it.
Steve Young is full of shit and good on his ESPN co-workers (Dominique Foxworthy and Bomani Jones in particular) for calling him out for it.
This one isn't NFL-related, but it's close enough to Young's fuckery that I feel the need to comment.
TGoSTFU #2 to your friend and mine, Tim "Remember that time he beat the Steelers in the playoffs" Tebow. He appeared on First Take to weigh in on California's impending "Fair Pay To Play" act, which would allow athletes at all CA. State schools to be able to earn income off their athletic images. You know, like every other person on Earth is allowed to do.
Like Young, Tebow's words were dripping with "back in my day".
https://twitter.com/FirstTake/status/1172538239095332864
St. Tebow of Tallahassee is free to be full of school spirit and "love of the game." What he's NOT free to do is dictate that everyone else should feel the same way. That somehow, not being able to profit from the sweat of your own brow is A Good Thing. He says he's fine with not seeing a dime from his jersey being a #1 seller. No one is going to tell him he shouldn't be. But that's an easy take when you come from money. And that's a trash take when his post-Florida life has been spent making all the monies doing the kind of things he says college athletes should not be allowed to do.
Folks dragged Tebow even harder than Young for this crap, and again, good on them for it.
And TGoSTFU #3 (and we’re making this one a double) for Poor Little Ting Ting, Antonio Brown. Starting with this "You can't fire me; I quit" tweet (Which $5 says he posted while drunk).
https://twitter.com/AB84/status/1175764155359465478
I was ready to go on an expletive laden tirade on this jackass. Then I saw a reply that said it all, really.
https://twitter.com/NewYorkNickYT/status/1175764738711666688
And that would’ve been that for this commentary. Then I remembered the tweetstorm Brown went on after the “I Quit” tweet.
The tweets have since been deleted, but Deadspin has the screencaps. He basically went full #Whataboutism, dry-snitching on everyone he considered to have “gotten away” with what he’s accused of. (including his former owner, Robert Kraft) . And he did this as he’s filing a grievance against the Pats to get his full salary.
This man, in the space of two weeks, went from earning a potential $40 million, to pulling down a single game check. All because he couldn’t stop being a twitter troll.
Saddest part is, once his legal quagmire has been cleared, there’ll be at least a half-dozen teams looking to sign him to a “prove-it” deal. As long as you can play, you’re (ultimately) forgiven.¹
Now, on to the games.
Quick Thoughts:
Zac Taylor was one of the group of Sean McVay-alike head coaching hires this off season.
He’s also one of the group of head coaching hires off to a, shall we say sub-optimal start. Taylor¹ is 0-3 with a team that was expected to be at least competitive (if not exactly good). The offense, supposedly what Taylor was brought in to modernize, hasn’t scored more than 20 this season and has looked sluggish at best. Their first five possessions were: 3-and-out, 3-and-out, 3-and-out, fumble, 3-and-out. The running game had been M.I.A. so far (Joe Mixon has 88 yards on the season, 61 of them this game.) The defense just can’t get stops when it needs to.
But what sets this apart as a team going in the wrong direction? When they lose it over dumb shit. Case in point: After Tre’Davious White’s game-sealing interception, Taylor lost his mind at the refs because he thought there should’ve been a safety. Because White was never touched down in the field of play, then ran down to the end zone to celebrate the clinched win.
Because “player is down when he hits the ground and does not try to advance the ball” is a concept they didn’t teach in Mcvay School. They didn’t teach it to Bengals OT Bobby Hart, either. He got ejected for making contact with a ref when he went bonkers for the same reason as his coach.
Y’all did hear the whistle blow the play dead, right?
Get your shit together, Bungles.
On the flip side: Josh Allen might be turning into a real boy before our eyes.
You wouldn’t think an injury to one non-QB player could flip the script dramatically. But it can’t be denied that the J-E-T-S W-T-F have looked like a trash fire from the moment CJ Mosley left the Bills game. Granted, being down to QB #3 (Luke Falk - COME ON DOWN) probably doesn’t there, but still.
Either way this game wasn’t fair or good. The Pats basically toyed with Gang Green, basically taking the fourth quarter off. Or at least they tried to. They actually put in backup Jarrett Stidham for garbage time (like a team who doesn’t have a psychotically competitive QB would normally do), only to yank him and put Dreamboat back in when he threw a Pick 6
I remind you, the score was 30-14 after that INT. What? Was Darth Hoodie afraid he’d throw more Pick 6s in the six minutes left in the game at that point?
As a Cowboys fan, I am worried.
Yes, the ‘Boys took care of business vs. the overmatched Fins. They got Tony Pollard his first real workload and he came through like a boss (103 yards and a TD on 13 carries, along with 3 catches for 25). The offense looks as good as any could’ve hoped under wunderkind Kellen Moore.
That defense, though.
If you check the stats, they’re okay. If you watched the games, you know that Dallas’ opponents have stopped themselves, offensively, than Dallas has gotten stops. Miami left quite a few points on the field via incompetence. Dallas has played three of the worst offenses in the league, if not THE worst. That’s not going to last. Week 4 is the Saints. Granted, one with Teddy Bridgewater under center, not Breesus. But still, a higher effort will be needed. It could be a case of the defense playing down to the competition. We’ll see. [crosses fingers]
But really, that Dolphin WR corps might be the worst I have ever seen. I'd have to put some thought into recalling worse. (Maybe the Niners WRs during Kapernick's last season).
The Broncos are now 0-3. The vaunted defense is without a turnover or sack. Joe Flacco is the same shade of “meh” that got him replaced in Baltimore. The running game is the one saving grace so far, which they refuse to lean on.
I fully expect Drew Lock to get the start as soon as he can get physically up to speed.
Meanwhile, Discount Double-Check and his cast of Whodats are 3-0 and looking very much like the class of the division and a real contender. Much like the Cowboys, taht’s been helped by a schedule that hasn’t exactly served up powerhouses. Co-incidentally, GB and Dallas face off in Jerry World in Week 5. This game could be a difference maker come January, if both teams keep their current levels up.
Quick Thoughts:
The latest round of what they’re trying to turn into the next Brady v Manning went to Patrick Mahomes. Spraying the ball around to A Bunch Of People Who Aren’t Tyreek Hill, the Cheat Code finished the day with 374 yards and 3 TDs.
The Chefs defense seemed to have one thing in mind: Stop Lamar Jackson. They didn’t quite stop him, but they sure as hell slowed him down (267yds, no TDs, 8-46 rushing). Mark Ingram took advantage of the focus on RB #8 (103 and 3TDs), but it wasn’t enough.
KC extended their streak of scoring at least 26 pts to a league record 24 games.
Look, Raiders... Do you suck or nah? Make up your minds!
Remember when folks though Philly was the class of the NFC East and a SB contender? Still makes me laugh.
QUARTERBACK CONTROVERSY!!!
But seriously, Kyle Allen delivered everything a one-wheeled Cam couldn’t. Including a win. (#OHSNAP). His performance (19/26 for 261 and 4 TDs) should give the Panthers confidence to let Cam heal up to 100% - something they haven’t had the opportunity to do since... Ever.
Having Son of Ed chip in with 153 and a score helps.
Kyler Murray's growing pains (30/43 for 173, 2 Tds, 2 INTs) continue as does David Johnson's seeming phaze out (11 carries, 37 yards).
You lost to the Giants. You lost to the rookie QB starting, no Saquon-having, defense-still-sucking Giants. A game you led for 58 minutes.
You should’ve been made to walk home.
Oh, and Giants Nation? This could’ve been you two years ago, if you hadn’t been so in your feelings about Younger Manning getting benched that you let him keep the job an extra two seasons. You know what else might have helped? Giving your rookie QB an elite WR1 like say... Odell Beckham Jr.
You know... I think this Deshaun Watson kid might have something.
If only they could keep him from getting absolutely blasted four times a game.
No Brees, no problems! Teddy Bridgewater isn’t going to remind anyone of Breesus at this point¹, competence (19/27 for 177 and 2 TDs) plus Alvin Kamara doing Alvin Kamara things (69 yards, 1 TD rushing, 9 for 92 and 1 TD receiving), was more than enough for the win.
And yet I still heard people calling for the Saints to put Taysom Hill in at QB.
Guys: if they trusted Hill’s QB acumen at this point, they wouldn’t have made Bridgewater the league’s highest paid backup. Let him do the Swiss Army thing and chill.
Mr Ciara threw for a mighty 406 and 2 TDs in the loss.
Are the Niners actually good or are the Steelers just that bad?
Mason Rudolph was okay-ish (14 for 27 174 yds 2 TDs, 1 INT). Apparently, that’s all it took.
Seriously - how do you get five turnovers and still lose?
The problem is Freddie Kitchens.
That is all.
Washington: Good for what ails ya’!
But calm down, Bears Fans. Yeah Mitch Trubisky looked out there (237 and 3TDs). But it’s the Deadskins. Trent Dilfer could drop 250 and 3 on them. Today. How ‘bout not shitting the bed two games in a row before getting happy.
And right now, Washington is just making excuses not to put Dwane Haskins in. You ain’t winning with Case Keenum. Hell, you might not win with this roster (especially with Trent Williams continuing to say “Screw you guys: I’m staying home”). The only reason not to put him in is if you think that O-line is going to get him killed. A take which would probably make Keenum feel quite good right about now.
And yes, Jay Gruden, job security absolutely should be on your mind. You were not hired to be the coach of the NFC East’s cellar dweller.
Let's start off with some omissions from last week:
The year's first Tall Glass of STFU to ESPN's Steve Young for being a hypocritical lickspittle. In addressing the (relative) rash of players demanding (and mostly getting) trades off bad teams, he had this to say:
https://twitter.com/espn/status/1173748621667373057
Okay, first: That is some "back in my day" bullshit.
It would still be BS if it didn't come from someone who availed himself of the very freedoms he's decrying here. Someone who avoided being drafted by a bad NFL team by signing with the USFL as an underclassman. Someone who arranged a private workout with Bill Walsh, while still under contract with Tampa. Someone who watched Joe Montana say "Get me out of here" and was granted his wish. Someone who watched his peer, John Elway, pull the ultimate power move for a player (at that time) and tell the Colts "I'm not coming. Don't draft me."
And even if all the above weren't true: Why is the NFL becoming more like the NBA a bad thing? What, exactly, is wrong with players having some agency in where they play (and for how much)? Why should Jalen Ramsey not be able to join a team where he doesn't despise his boss? Why shouldn't someone like Minka Fitzpatrick be able to say "This sucks, get me out" when his team decides to tank like no one has tanked before? Why shouldn't NFL players have some NBA-style stroke - other than the old and busted canard "That's not the way we do things?"
The NFL used to have a quota on how many black players a team was allowed to carry. The NFL used to send clearly brain-addled players back into the game with alarming regularity (alarming even before we really knew how bad things were). The NFL used to let defenders treat the QB like any other player. "The way we do things" changes depending on when and where you say it.
Steve Young is full of shit and good on his ESPN co-workers (Dominique Foxworthy and Bomani Jones in particular) for calling him out for it.
This one isn't NFL-related, but it's close enough to Young's fuckery that I feel the need to comment.
TGoSTFU #2 to your friend and mine, Tim "Remember that time he beat the Steelers in the playoffs" Tebow. He appeared on First Take to weigh in on California's impending "Fair Pay To Play" act, which would allow athletes at all CA. State schools to be able to earn income off their athletic images. You know, like every other person on Earth is allowed to do.
Like Young, Tebow's words were dripping with "back in my day".
https://twitter.com/FirstTake/status/1172538239095332864
St. Tebow of Tallahassee is free to be full of school spirit and "love of the game." What he's NOT free to do is dictate that everyone else should feel the same way. That somehow, not being able to profit from the sweat of your own brow is A Good Thing. He says he's fine with not seeing a dime from his jersey being a #1 seller. No one is going to tell him he shouldn't be. But that's an easy take when you come from money. And that's a trash take when his post-Florida life has been spent making all the monies doing the kind of things he says college athletes should not be allowed to do.
Folks dragged Tebow even harder than Young for this crap, and again, good on them for it.
And TGoSTFU #3 (and we’re making this one a double) for Poor Little Ting Ting, Antonio Brown. Starting with this "You can't fire me; I quit" tweet (Which $5 says he posted while drunk).
https://twitter.com/AB84/status/1175764155359465478
I was ready to go on an expletive laden tirade on this jackass. Then I saw a reply that said it all, really.
https://twitter.com/NewYorkNickYT/status/1175764738711666688
And that would’ve been that for this commentary. Then I remembered the tweetstorm Brown went on after the “I Quit” tweet.
The tweets have since been deleted, but Deadspin has the screencaps. He basically went full #Whataboutism, dry-snitching on everyone he considered to have “gotten away” with what he’s accused of. (including his former owner, Robert Kraft) . And he did this as he’s filing a grievance against the Pats to get his full salary.
This man, in the space of two weeks, went from earning a potential $40 million, to pulling down a single game check. All because he couldn’t stop being a twitter troll.
Saddest part is, once his legal quagmire has been cleared, there’ll be at least a half-dozen teams looking to sign him to a “prove-it” deal. As long as you can play, you’re (ultimately) forgiven.¹
Unless you’re Ray Rice. Or Colin Kaepernick.
Now, on to the games.
Titans 7, Jaguars 20
Quick Thoughts:
- So how long before the Tom Brady comparisons begin in earnest for Gardner Minshew?
- How do you rip off a 69-yard run and end the day with 66 yards on 15 carries? That means Leonard Fournette, before that last drive, was 11 for -8. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
- I have to wonder: Is Marcus Mariota the Blake Bortles or the Johnny Manziel of his draft class?
- But is the reason for Mariota's suckage him or a parade of trash coaches and coordinators?
Bengals 17, Bills 21
Zac Taylor was one of the group of Sean McVay-alike head coaching hires this off season.
He’s also one of the group of head coaching hires off to a, shall we say sub-optimal start. Taylor¹ is 0-3 with a team that was expected to be at least competitive (if not exactly good). The offense, supposedly what Taylor was brought in to modernize, hasn’t scored more than 20 this season and has looked sluggish at best. Their first five possessions were: 3-and-out, 3-and-out, 3-and-out, fumble, 3-and-out. The running game had been M.I.A. so far (Joe Mixon has 88 yards on the season, 61 of them this game.) The defense just can’t get stops when it needs to.
But what sets this apart as a team going in the wrong direction? When they lose it over dumb shit. Case in point: After Tre’Davious White’s game-sealing interception, Taylor lost his mind at the refs because he thought there should’ve been a safety. Because White was never touched down in the field of play, then ran down to the end zone to celebrate the clinched win.
Because “player is down when he hits the ground and does not try to advance the ball” is a concept they didn’t teach in Mcvay School. They didn’t teach it to Bengals OT Bobby Hart, either. He got ejected for making contact with a ref when he went bonkers for the same reason as his coach.
Y’all did hear the whistle blow the play dead, right?
Get your shit together, Bungles.
On the flip side: Josh Allen might be turning into a real boy before our eyes.
Future answer to the trivia question “Who replaced Marvin Lewis”
Jets 14, Patriots 30
You wouldn’t think an injury to one non-QB player could flip the script dramatically. But it can’t be denied that the J-E-T-S W-T-F have looked like a trash fire from the moment CJ Mosley left the Bills game. Granted, being down to QB #3 (Luke Falk - COME ON DOWN) probably doesn’t there, but still.
Either way this game wasn’t fair or good. The Pats basically toyed with Gang Green, basically taking the fourth quarter off. Or at least they tried to. They actually put in backup Jarrett Stidham for garbage time (like a team who doesn’t have a psychotically competitive QB would normally do), only to yank him and put Dreamboat back in when he threw a Pick 6
I remind you, the score was 30-14 after that INT. What? Was Darth Hoodie afraid he’d throw more Pick 6s in the six minutes left in the game at that point?
Dolphins 6, Cowboys 31
As a Cowboys fan, I am worried.
Yes, the ‘Boys took care of business vs. the overmatched Fins. They got Tony Pollard his first real workload and he came through like a boss (103 yards and a TD on 13 carries, along with 3 catches for 25). The offense looks as good as any could’ve hoped under wunderkind Kellen Moore.
That defense, though.
If you check the stats, they’re okay. If you watched the games, you know that Dallas’ opponents have stopped themselves, offensively, than Dallas has gotten stops. Miami left quite a few points on the field via incompetence. Dallas has played three of the worst offenses in the league, if not THE worst. That’s not going to last. Week 4 is the Saints. Granted, one with Teddy Bridgewater under center, not Breesus. But still, a higher effort will be needed. It could be a case of the defense playing down to the competition. We’ll see. [crosses fingers]
But really, that Dolphin WR corps might be the worst I have ever seen. I'd have to put some thought into recalling worse. (Maybe the Niners WRs during Kapernick's last season).
Broncos 16, Packers 27
The Broncos are now 0-3. The vaunted defense is without a turnover or sack. Joe Flacco is the same shade of “meh” that got him replaced in Baltimore. The running game is the one saving grace so far, which they refuse to lean on.
I fully expect Drew Lock to get the start as soon as he can get physically up to speed.
Meanwhile, Discount Double-Check and his cast of Whodats are 3-0 and looking very much like the class of the division and a real contender. Much like the Cowboys, taht’s been helped by a schedule that hasn’t exactly served up powerhouses. Co-incidentally, GB and Dallas face off in Jerry World in Week 5. This game could be a difference maker come January, if both teams keep their current levels up.
Falcons 24, Colts 27
Quick Thoughts:
- Weren’t the Falcons supposed to be contenders?
- I suppose the worryingly large injury list doesn’t help.
- Could Jacoby Brissett be the best of Tom Brady’s former understudies?
- Proof of how overrated stats can be: Matt Ryan passed John Elway for 9th place for career completions. (Phillip Rivers is 8th, and #1 is Drew Brees, FYI.
Ravens 28, Chefs 33
The latest round of what they’re trying to turn into the next Brady v Manning went to Patrick Mahomes. Spraying the ball around to A Bunch Of People Who Aren’t Tyreek Hill, the Cheat Code finished the day with 374 yards and 3 TDs.
The Chefs defense seemed to have one thing in mind: Stop Lamar Jackson. They didn’t quite stop him, but they sure as hell slowed him down (267yds, no TDs, 8-46 rushing). Mark Ingram took advantage of the focus on RB #8 (103 and 3TDs), but it wasn’t enough.
KC extended their streak of scoring at least 26 pts to a league record 24 games.
Raiders 14, Vikings 34
Look, Raiders... Do you suck or nah? Make up your minds!
Lions 27, Eagles 24
Remember when folks though Philly was the class of the NFC East and a SB contender? Still makes me laugh.
Panthers 38, Cardinals 20
QUARTERBACK CONTROVERSY!!!
But seriously, Kyle Allen delivered everything a one-wheeled Cam couldn’t. Including a win. (#OHSNAP). His performance (19/26 for 261 and 4 TDs) should give the Panthers confidence to let Cam heal up to 100% - something they haven’t had the opportunity to do since... Ever.
Having Son of Ed chip in with 153 and a score helps.
Kyler Murray's growing pains (30/43 for 173, 2 Tds, 2 INTs) continue as does David Johnson's seeming phaze out (11 carries, 37 yards).
Giants 32, Bucs 31
You lost to the Giants. You lost to the rookie QB starting, no Saquon-having, defense-still-sucking Giants. A game you led for 58 minutes.
You should’ve been made to walk home.
Oh, and Giants Nation? This could’ve been you two years ago, if you hadn’t been so in your feelings about Younger Manning getting benched that you let him keep the job an extra two seasons. You know what else might have helped? Giving your rookie QB an elite WR1 like say... Odell Beckham Jr.
Texans 27, Chargers 20
You know... I think this Deshaun Watson kid might have something.
If only they could keep him from getting absolutely blasted four times a game.
Saints 33, Seahawks 27
No Brees, no problems! Teddy Bridgewater isn’t going to remind anyone of Breesus at this point¹, competence (19/27 for 177 and 2 TDs) plus Alvin Kamara doing Alvin Kamara things (69 yards, 1 TD rushing, 9 for 92 and 1 TD receiving), was more than enough for the win.
And yet I still heard people calling for the Saints to put Taysom Hill in at QB.
Guys: if they trusted Hill’s QB acumen at this point, they wouldn’t have made Bridgewater the league’s highest paid backup. Let him do the Swiss Army thing and chill.
Mr Ciara threw for a mighty 406 and 2 TDs in the loss.
I think Whodat Nation would settle for Aaron Brooks at this point.
Steelers 20, Niners 24
Are the Niners actually good or are the Steelers just that bad?
Mason Rudolph was okay-ish (14 for 27 174 yds 2 TDs, 1 INT). Apparently, that’s all it took.
Seriously - how do you get five turnovers and still lose?
Rams 20, Browns 13
The problem is Freddie Kitchens.
That is all.
Bears 31, Fucksnyders 15
Washington: Good for what ails ya’!
But calm down, Bears Fans. Yeah Mitch Trubisky looked out there (237 and 3TDs). But it’s the Deadskins. Trent Dilfer could drop 250 and 3 on them. Today. How ‘bout not shitting the bed two games in a row before getting happy.
And right now, Washington is just making excuses not to put Dwane Haskins in. You ain’t winning with Case Keenum. Hell, you might not win with this roster (especially with Trent Williams continuing to say “Screw you guys: I’m staying home”). The only reason not to put him in is if you think that O-line is going to get him killed. A take which would probably make Keenum feel quite good right about now.
And yes, Jay Gruden, job security absolutely should be on your mind. You were not hired to be the coach of the NFC East’s cellar dweller.
Good work as usual. If I am remembering correctly we get Vikings vs Bears this week. As long as the Vike’s running game stays healthy, I think they will have a good year. If they need the 18 Million Dollar Man to throw 40+ times a game, they’re screwed.
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