2018 Week in Review–Week 14
Welcome to the Week in Review. Whaddaya want for free?
Really, all I'd really have to say is this¹:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlZvgdcIXvI
Here's how hard the Jags got owned: Even if you removed Henry's 99 yard and 54-yard TDs, he'd still have finished with 84 yards and 2 TDs on 15 carries² - which would STILL be his best game since Week 16 of 2017.
And the thing is: We can't be sure how much of that was Henry entering God Mode and how much was the Jags defense - fresh off of sonning Andrew Luck & the Pips in Week 13 - in full "Fuck It" mode. As as limp and lame as the defense was Thursday, the offense no-showed for the second straight week. And having gotten my first real full-game look at the Jags, I think I owe Blake Bortles an apology. Not that he didn't play his way into getting benched. But I don't know how much better he could've done with that o-line and that receiver corps. I hope Cody Kessler is getting hazard pay.
Now watch Bortles earn millions holding a clipboard for the next decade.
Either way, That Run™ has officially replaced this 1998 Garrison Hearst³ run as the best I ever saw:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dgrjrp6jXE
For the first half of this game (and a good chunk of the third quarter), the Saints were in the same"WTF Is Happening" offensive funk they were for the Dallas game. Alvin Kamara and Mark Ingram had been shut down. The Bucs were doubling and tripling Michael Thomas and daring any other Saints receiver to step up.
It was looking like the Saints were in for a second straight embarrassing loss.
Then The Swiss Army Knife™, Taysom Hill¹, blocked a punt, and the Saints proceeded to score the game's last 25 points, looking like the Saints of Week 12 and back in the process. It's rare that you can point to one play that completely flips the script on a game like this. But it was clear that the block lit a fire under the Saints that the Bucs were unable to snuff.
But, even in victory, the Saints weaknesses were exposed: Take away Michael Thomas and Breesus' options in the passing game nearly vanish. Stuff the run, the play action goes with it and the passing options shrink even more. That can be easier said than done, but once you hit the playoffs, they'll be playing team that can (and likely have).
Fun Note: Thomas has had 27 catches in two games vs. Tampa. This ties Jerry Rice for the most against one opponent in a season, since the 1970 merger.
Lets be frank here: If Josh Allen¹ were Jermarcus Allen from Quitman County, MS, with the same stats and same measurables, we'd be talking about giving him the Terrelle Pryor treatment and moving him to receiver. The accuracy issues he had in college didn't magically disappear once he started taking pro snaps, and seem to be getting worse as the year moves on and teams are getting more and more tape on him.
This is an obvious thing: Which has to be doubly frustrating to teammate TE Logan Thomas, who was drafted as a QB by Arizona and was shifted to TE after one start.
Speaking of young QBs: Which is more important to the Jets: Getting Sam Darnold reps and experience or getting him to the offseason alive? Because it doesn't look like the latter is possible. Shelve him and gear up for 2019 (and keep him fresh for his new head coach.).
The Browns are 3-2 under interim coach Gregg Williams If he stepped down today, that would be the most successful Browns season since Mike Pettine went 7-9 in 2014.¹
For 99% of coaches, this would, at a minimum, earn them a chance to interview for the full-time gig.
Between Bountygate and his three year stint of fail as Bills HC. good ol' Double G is squarely in the 1%.
Or would be, with an owner who doesn't have the track record of WTF of Jimmy Haslam.
But if the Browns manage to make at least 7-9, they'd HAVE to give him the job, right? Right?
On the flipside, the Panthers are in full free-fall. Cam Newton is getting worse by the week and he's dragging the rest of the team with him. The defense isn't strong enough to take up the slack and Christian McCaffrey is a complimentary piece who was never meant to carry the offensive load. I can't see Riverboat Ron surviving if the Panthers tank their way out of the playoffs.
So is just nerves and "new coach jitters" that makes you burn through both your replay challenges in the first 83 seconds of the game?
In Joe Philbin's debut as Packers interim HC, Green Bay looked like the team people expected back in September, rolling up the reeling Falcons (who scored two TDs in the fourth to make the final score more presentable). Discount Double Check only logged 196 yards, but threw 2 TDs with no picks and added 44 rushing. Definitely played like someone with a Mike McCarthy-sized monkey taken off his back.
The Falcons have lost their fifth straight, the offense long since been unable to compensate for the M.A.S.H. unit that is the Atlanta defense.
And we've reached that point in every season where we can't figure out if Andrew Luck & The Pips are good or not. Here we have them following up last week's 6-0 embarrassment with snapping the Texan's curiously unimpressive nine-game win streak. We should get more clarity on that front next week, when they play Dallas.
Speaking of embarrassment: The Colts sealed the win by getting Jadeveon Clowney to bite on a hard count late in the fourth, gaining a first down that let them run out the clock.
Incidentally, the Colts have only given up 14 sacks all season - second only to the Pats. The Colts of just last year would've surrendered that many by October.
The Lamar Jackson Era suffered its' first L, but not before giving the Chiefs all they wanted, dragging things to overtime. Black Tebow was 13/24 for 147 and 2, adding 71 yards rushing on 13 carries.
MVP favorite¹ Patrick Mahomes (377/2/1) joined Dan Marino and Kurt Warner as the only QBs to have a 4000+ yard/40+ TD season within their first two seasons.
NFL.com says this is the eighth time since the merger that the #1 scoring offense (KC) and defense (Ravens) have met in Week 14 or later. As usual for such tidbits on NFL.com, they don't say when the last one was, who it was, or what the overall record is for said matchups.
And oh yeah: No-look pass:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWoQMdE_mQM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-zP1_HvhzM
Dear NFL;
If Colin Kaepernick is willing to settle his collusion case, settle.
Because his Exhibits A and B are going to be
There is no possible answer to the question "Why them and not Kap" that has anything to do with ability. At least no answer that wouldn't get you immediately arrested for perjury.
And it feels more and more like the Giants are going to talk themselves into giving Eli one more year...
The Chargers scored their first 10-win season since 2009, taking down a surprsingly scrappy Bengal squad. The Chargers - like the Texans and Colts - have wins, but not much confidence in their capability to take down the conference heavyweigths¹. But they'll get their shot. I can see the Chargers taking down either the Texans or Steelers on the road.
And a road team might be best. I would hate to see the kind of roasting the Chargers would get if they couldn't fill a 35K stadium for a playoff game.
And win or lose, Jeff Driskel is earning himself quite a lot of future money as a backup, if nothing else.
Dear San Francisco;
You guys DO know how "tanking" works, right?
Dear Denver;
You're supposed to have an elite defense - above-average at worst, right?
So how the screaming blue fuck do you let George Kittle rack up 210 yards? IN THE FIRST HALF?
See Niners! Raiders! (We'll get to them) The Cardinals get it!
It's rare that you can say a game had everything and mean "everything": A boring 9-6 three quarters gave way to wild 17-14 fourth. Amazing plays and atrocious Refball™ - including the most the most blatant, egregious make-up call I've ever seen in a football game.: Eagles TE Dallas Goedert had a long TD pass called back on a bogus Offensive Pass Interference call¹. Then, on the very next play, Randy Gregory got called for an equally horrible Roughing the passer call.
Screw suspensions: The ref crew of this game should all be fired.
Meanwhile, Amari Cooper is proving that you can pay too much for something and still have it prove to be worth it: 10 catches for 217 yards and 3 TDs, including the game winner. Dak Prescott continues to impress and infuriate in equal measure: The 75=yard TD to Amari was a thing of beauty. But he also missed Cooper and Michael Gallop on multiple clean deep shot, threw two bad INTs and continues to be reckless with ball security and takes too many bad sacks.
But, at any rate, TL;DR: This
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MjztkokkQA
And speaking of Tall Glass of STFU to Tyrone Crawford and several of his teammates for interrupting an Eagles' group celebration:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8XujANQMSk
Not only is this petty childish bullshit, it's the exact kind of petty childish bullshit that the NFL used to justify banning group celebrations back in the day.
Steelers 21, Raiders 24
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vtINCWw2VQ
This is what happens when you consistently play down to your competition: You don't leave yourself any leeway for disaster.
If the Steelers do pull the trigger on Coach Omar Epps this offseason, point to this play as to why. It didn't have to come to this. They could've brought Big Ben (sidelined by a rib injury) back into the game far sooner than they did, instead letting Joshua Dobbs¹ play QB until it was almost too late to turn things around.
Apparently, the MNF teams saw the drama of the Saints/Bucs and said "Hold my Starbucks."
In this case, it was Bobby "Last Of The Boom" Wagner blocking a Vikings FG:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riMVmWeyHRI
(Yeah, no way that's actually legal)
From there, the 'Hawks and Vikings combined for 22 points in the last five minutes of the game, with The Legion of PFFFFT coming out on top.
The Vikes only gained 276 yards, 77 on the ground Apparently, this was the last straw for Mike Zimmer, who fired first year OC John DeFilippo. Scuttlebutt is that Zimmer wanted a more balanced attack, not wanting to put everything on the passing game. DeFillippo seemed to want to run the same offense he did (for one year) in Philly. And apparently he never noticed that he's asking Kirk Cousins to do that. Cousins is good when things are going right. When the routes are perfect and the lanes are open. When things go south... He sucks. Period. He's no Carson Wentz. Hell he's not even Nick Foles. It's also like he forgot the Philly offense didn't pick up last year until they acquired Jay Ajayi to punch up the rush attack. a side of the offense he seemed to ignore in Minneapolis.
If he learns from this, learns not to try to shove square Cousins into round gameplans, he'll make someone else a decent OC. Good luck to QB coach Kevin Stefanski, who steps into the OC role for the rest of the season. He was passed over for the OC role when they hired DeFilippo. Maybe he can prove he was the right move all along.
Jaguars 9, Derrick Henry 30
Really, all I'd really have to say is this¹:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlZvgdcIXvI
Here's how hard the Jags got owned: Even if you removed Henry's 99 yard and 54-yard TDs, he'd still have finished with 84 yards and 2 TDs on 15 carries² - which would STILL be his best game since Week 16 of 2017.
And the thing is: We can't be sure how much of that was Henry entering God Mode and how much was the Jags defense - fresh off of sonning Andrew Luck & the Pips in Week 13 - in full "Fuck It" mode. As as limp and lame as the defense was Thursday, the offense no-showed for the second straight week. And having gotten my first real full-game look at the Jags, I think I owe Blake Bortles an apology. Not that he didn't play his way into getting benched. But I don't know how much better he could've done with that o-line and that receiver corps. I hope Cody Kessler is getting hazard pay.
Now watch Bortles earn millions holding a clipboard for the next decade.
Either way, That Run™ has officially replaced this 1998 Garrison Hearst³ run as the best I ever saw:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dgrjrp6jXE
- Well, that and the obligatory "My god, Joe Buck sucks"4 comment.
- Which is one of the frustrating things about Henry: You'll see games like this peppered in among utter mediocrity in his season stats.
- One of the most slept-on players in history, IMHO.5
- To wash the taste of Joe Buck out of your ears: Here's the Mike Keith call of the 99-yarder.
- And second only to Randall Cunningham on the list of offensive players whose careers were hamstrung by having Buddy Ryan as a head coach.
Saints 28, Bucs 14
For the first half of this game (and a good chunk of the third quarter), the Saints were in the same"WTF Is Happening" offensive funk they were for the Dallas game. Alvin Kamara and Mark Ingram had been shut down. The Bucs were doubling and tripling Michael Thomas and daring any other Saints receiver to step up.
It was looking like the Saints were in for a second straight embarrassing loss.
Then The Swiss Army Knife™, Taysom Hill¹, blocked a punt, and the Saints proceeded to score the game's last 25 points, looking like the Saints of Week 12 and back in the process. It's rare that you can point to one play that completely flips the script on a game like this. But it was clear that the block lit a fire under the Saints that the Bucs were unable to snuff.
But, even in victory, the Saints weaknesses were exposed: Take away Michael Thomas and Breesus' options in the passing game nearly vanish. Stuff the run, the play action goes with it and the passing options shrink even more. That can be easier said than done, but once you hit the playoffs, they'll be playing team that can (and likely have).
Fun Note: Thomas has had 27 catches in two games vs. Tampa. This ties Jerry Rice for the most against one opponent in a season, since the 1970 merger.
- AKA: The reason the Saints will let Teddy Bridgewater walk without a fight.
Jets 27, Bills 23
Lets be frank here: If Josh Allen¹ were Jermarcus Allen from Quitman County, MS, with the same stats and same measurables, we'd be talking about giving him the Terrelle Pryor treatment and moving him to receiver. The accuracy issues he had in college didn't magically disappear once he started taking pro snaps, and seem to be getting worse as the year moves on and teams are getting more and more tape on him.
This is an obvious thing: Which has to be doubly frustrating to teammate TE Logan Thomas, who was drafted as a QB by Arizona and was shifted to TE after one start.
Speaking of young QBs: Which is more important to the Jets: Getting Sam Darnold reps and experience or getting him to the offseason alive? Because it doesn't look like the latter is possible. Shelve him and gear up for 2019 (and keep him fresh for his new head coach.).
- Henceforth known in these parts as "White Vick".
Panthers 20, Browns 26
The Browns are 3-2 under interim coach Gregg Williams If he stepped down today, that would be the most successful Browns season since Mike Pettine went 7-9 in 2014.¹
For 99% of coaches, this would, at a minimum, earn them a chance to interview for the full-time gig.
Between Bountygate and his three year stint of fail as Bills HC. good ol' Double G is squarely in the 1%.
Or would be, with an owner who doesn't have the track record of WTF of Jimmy Haslam.
But if the Browns manage to make at least 7-9, they'd HAVE to give him the job, right? Right?
On the flipside, the Panthers are in full free-fall. Cam Newton is getting worse by the week and he's dragging the rest of the team with him. The defense isn't strong enough to take up the slack and Christian McCaffrey is a complimentary piece who was never meant to carry the offensive load. I can't see Riverboat Ron surviving if the Panthers tank their way out of the playoffs.
- A season where the Browns started 7-4 BTW.
Falcons 20, Packers 34
So is just nerves and "new coach jitters" that makes you burn through both your replay challenges in the first 83 seconds of the game?
In Joe Philbin's debut as Packers interim HC, Green Bay looked like the team people expected back in September, rolling up the reeling Falcons (who scored two TDs in the fourth to make the final score more presentable). Discount Double Check only logged 196 yards, but threw 2 TDs with no picks and added 44 rushing. Definitely played like someone with a Mike McCarthy-sized monkey taken off his back.
The Falcons have lost their fifth straight, the offense long since been unable to compensate for the M.A.S.H. unit that is the Atlanta defense.
Colts 24, Texans 21
And we've reached that point in every season where we can't figure out if Andrew Luck & The Pips are good or not. Here we have them following up last week's 6-0 embarrassment with snapping the Texan's curiously unimpressive nine-game win streak. We should get more clarity on that front next week, when they play Dallas.
Speaking of embarrassment: The Colts sealed the win by getting Jadeveon Clowney to bite on a hard count late in the fourth, gaining a first down that let them run out the clock.
Incidentally, the Colts have only given up 14 sacks all season - second only to the Pats. The Colts of just last year would've surrendered that many by October.
Ravens 24, Chiefs 27 (OT)
The Lamar Jackson Era suffered its' first L, but not before giving the Chiefs all they wanted, dragging things to overtime. Black Tebow was 13/24 for 147 and 2, adding 71 yards rushing on 13 carries.
MVP favorite¹ Patrick Mahomes (377/2/1) joined Dan Marino and Kurt Warner as the only QBs to have a 4000+ yard/40+ TD season within their first two seasons.
NFL.com says this is the eighth time since the merger that the #1 scoring offense (KC) and defense (Ravens) have met in Week 14 or later. As usual for such tidbits on NFL.com, they don't say when the last one was, who it was, or what the overall record is for said matchups.
And oh yeah: No-look pass:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWoQMdE_mQM
Patriots 33, Dolphins 34
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-zP1_HvhzM
- I'm just gonna sit here and laugh for the next ten minutes.
- Okay, seriously: Why was Gronk out there? It makes sense if you think there's a Hail Mary attempt coming. But that assumes Darth Hoodie thought Ryan Tannehill could throw the ball 75 yards with a bum shoulder.
But if Belichick thought Miami was going Stanford Band Play... WHY WAS GRONK ON THE FIELD?
Giants 40, Fucksnyders 16
Dear NFL;
If Colin Kaepernick is willing to settle his collusion case, settle.
Because his Exhibits A and B are going to be
- Footage of Nathan Peterman's starts.
- Footage of Mark Sanchez in a Washington uniform.
There is no possible answer to the question "Why them and not Kap" that has anything to do with ability. At least no answer that wouldn't get you immediately arrested for perjury.
And it feels more and more like the Giants are going to talk themselves into giving Eli one more year...
Bengals 21, Chargers 26
The Chargers scored their first 10-win season since 2009, taking down a surprsingly scrappy Bengal squad. The Chargers - like the Texans and Colts - have wins, but not much confidence in their capability to take down the conference heavyweigths¹. But they'll get their shot. I can see the Chargers taking down either the Texans or Steelers on the road.
And a road team might be best. I would hate to see the kind of roasting the Chargers would get if they couldn't fill a 35K stadium for a playoff game.
And win or lose, Jeff Driskel is earning himself quite a lot of future money as a backup, if nothing else.
- Read: Chiefs and Pats.
Broncos 14, Niners 20
Dear San Francisco;
You guys DO know how "tanking" works, right?
Dear Denver;
You're supposed to have an elite defense - above-average at worst, right?
So how the screaming blue fuck do you let George Kittle rack up 210 yards? IN THE FIRST HALF?
Lions 17, Cardinals 3
See Niners! Raiders! (We'll get to them) The Cardinals get it!
Eagles 23, Cowboys 29 (OT)
It's rare that you can say a game had everything and mean "everything": A boring 9-6 three quarters gave way to wild 17-14 fourth. Amazing plays and atrocious Refball™ - including the most the most blatant, egregious make-up call I've ever seen in a football game.: Eagles TE Dallas Goedert had a long TD pass called back on a bogus Offensive Pass Interference call¹. Then, on the very next play, Randy Gregory got called for an equally horrible Roughing the passer call.
Screw suspensions: The ref crew of this game should all be fired.
Meanwhile, Amari Cooper is proving that you can pay too much for something and still have it prove to be worth it: 10 catches for 217 yards and 3 TDs, including the game winner. Dak Prescott continues to impress and infuriate in equal measure: The 75=yard TD to Amari was a thing of beauty. But he also missed Cooper and Michael Gallop on multiple clean deep shot, threw two bad INTs and continues to be reckless with ball security and takes too many bad sacks.
But, at any rate, TL;DR: This
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MjztkokkQA
And speaking of Tall Glass of STFU to Tyrone Crawford and several of his teammates for interrupting an Eagles' group celebration:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8XujANQMSk
Not only is this petty childish bullshit, it's the exact kind of petty childish bullshit that the NFL used to justify banning group celebrations back in the day.
- Just think how horrible the call had to be that a fan of the other team is calling it out as bogus?
Steelers 21, Raiders 24
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vtINCWw2VQ
This is what happens when you consistently play down to your competition: You don't leave yourself any leeway for disaster.
If the Steelers do pull the trigger on Coach Omar Epps this offseason, point to this play as to why. It didn't have to come to this. They could've brought Big Ben (sidelined by a rib injury) back into the game far sooner than they did, instead letting Joshua Dobbs¹ play QB until it was almost too late to turn things around.
- Seriously, when was the last time the Steelers had a reliable backup to Raplisberger? Vick? Charlie Batch? Byron Leftwich?
Rams 6, Bears 15
- Was there some sort of secret league ruling that says each elite team has to have one game where they look like shit?
- Bears Nation and assorted media members: Cool it with the Super Bowl Shuffle comparisons, k'?
Vikings 7, Seahawks 21
Apparently, the MNF teams saw the drama of the Saints/Bucs and said "Hold my Starbucks."
In this case, it was Bobby "Last Of The Boom" Wagner blocking a Vikings FG:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riMVmWeyHRI
(Yeah, no way that's actually legal)
From there, the 'Hawks and Vikings combined for 22 points in the last five minutes of the game, with The Legion of PFFFFT coming out on top.
The Vikes only gained 276 yards, 77 on the ground Apparently, this was the last straw for Mike Zimmer, who fired first year OC John DeFilippo. Scuttlebutt is that Zimmer wanted a more balanced attack, not wanting to put everything on the passing game. DeFillippo seemed to want to run the same offense he did (for one year) in Philly. And apparently he never noticed that he's asking Kirk Cousins to do that. Cousins is good when things are going right. When the routes are perfect and the lanes are open. When things go south... He sucks. Period. He's no Carson Wentz. Hell he's not even Nick Foles. It's also like he forgot the Philly offense didn't pick up last year until they acquired Jay Ajayi to punch up the rush attack. a side of the offense he seemed to ignore in Minneapolis.
If he learns from this, learns not to try to shove square Cousins into round gameplans, he'll make someone else a decent OC. Good luck to QB coach Kevin Stefanski, who steps into the OC role for the rest of the season. He was passed over for the OC role when they hired DeFilippo. Maybe he can prove he was the right move all along.
Comments
Post a Comment